Impulsiveness

In my professional life, I work with many clients who have difficulty with impulsiveness. Some flit from place to place, topic to topic, activity to activity in mere seconds. Some move from positive interactions with others to negative interactions with others in the blink of an eye. My clients often don't have much awareness of the consequences of their behaviors until they have gone through the behaviors. After the fact, they can process through the ramifications of their actions, but they have no future thought when it comes to decisions that they face.

I was impulsive yesterday.

I was driving home after an okay Wednesday (hooray!!), and I became very homesick. I haven't been home in 18 months which is an extremely long time for me. I didn't have a choice about traveling because I had to go to surgery, recover, and find some financial footing after dealing with Worker's Compensation and salary implications. ANYWAY...

The wave of homesickness just plain old took over. So, I started making plans. If I started driving on the last day of the next summer session, I could be home in 29 hours. I was very pleased to make my plan for streaking across the country in my little car. I got home and looked on the website for a flight. I found one - for less that it would cost me to drive! I booked it without telling the folks at home that I was going to do it. That is a level of impulsiveness that I rarely show.

Now, I know, I could have been so much more impulsive, but this was very spontaneous for me. I decided I was going, I wasn't going to worry about the cost, and I was just plain old taking the time to take care of me. The fact that I found a plane ticket for - get this - $211.20(!!!!) made the trip a fact rather than an impulse! That makes me happy.

The plane ticket has been purchased. I have the receipt in my email inbox. Now I get to do the things I like best. I get to prepare. I like planning and now I have a direction for the short break that I have starting tomorrow. I am going to clean the house so the pet sitter can find the cat when she comes over to cuddle. A goal! Hooray!! A trip! Hooray!! Cheap ticket! Hooray!!

There are times when impulsiveness leads you to bigger and better things. Does this mean I am ready to leave life and my doctor and stuff and move right now? Nope, but I am reminded that being spontaneous can bring about care for self in a way that planned self-care cannot.

Over the 18 months, I've had to plan everything. I've had to be very careful about how I spent money because I was hurt. I've had to stay at home because I was unable to bend my knee enough to get anywhere. I had a physical therapy schedule that precluded any type of trip. I've had to stop doing things that I love because I wasn't physically able to do those things. All of that has stopped so I can take some risks and be a bit more spontaneous now...but I am out of practice.

I took a big step yesterday, booking that trip without having all the ducks in a row.

Onward - here's to being a bit impulsive!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea...
Read more

Songwriting Sunday: Repetition

Image
One of the things that I find to be helpful with my client population (children, adolescents, and young adults with dual diagnoses) is repetition of phrases, lyrics, and music. As a result of 30+ years of working with this population in various iterations, I have found that my clients respond the most to songs with three repeated phrases to prime their responses with a different phrase to communicate the important part of the experience. DISCLAIMER: This is not a definite way to write music for clinical interactions. This is what seems to work well with my particular group of human beings. Don't go to your supervisors and tell them that I told you that this is the ONLY way to write music - It is NOT! You have to find what works for your clients and for their clinical goals. Since my clients respond well to this type of song, I tend to write songs in this format more than any other. What I have found is that my clients remember these songs more than the ones that I do in different f...
Read more

Being An Internship Director: On Hiatus

Image
It has been long enough since I have had an intern that I am seriously feeling like I have little to say on the subject. At the same time, I am currently writing Chapter 5 of my general internship handbook, so I am able to write about being an intern and what types of things to think about during this important time in our professional development. It is a strange place to be in, and it is one that is a bit challenging for me. Right now, I have had three vacant internship positions since the beginning of the calendar year. I will have a vacant position next month and that will be an entire year of rejected offers. In the past nine months, I have offered positions to three applicants who have declined. It is interesting how people complain that there aren't enough internship programs, but programs like mine are empty. I guess there aren't enough internship programs that pay large stipends (which mine cannot) out there. I get it. It is interesting to me how we have moved from an ...
Read more