The Mighty Meltdown

I had myself a bit of a temper tantrum last night.

It wasn't pretty. It wasn't an adult thing to do, but it really seemed necessary at the time. 

I am now on a better side of things.

Here's what happened.

I started the day in a funk. It was a 12-hour day: 8 hours with kids and then 4 hours of inservice time. (I hate inservice days!) My morning groups weren't bad at all. The kids engaged in my TMEs without too much difficulty, and they seemed to like what we were doing. The afternoon group? Utter disaster.

Now, I share a wall with this class so I know that they are struggling. They have had a new staff member arrive this week along with a new student. (What school district starts a student in a new school 10 days before the end of school? Makes you wonder...) The group doesn't deal with change well, and now? Bam! Two major changes in a row. 

I won't go into all of the details, but kids were in and out of the session all afternoon. We ended up with a lecture by me about "safe vs. unsafe" choices.

Then, the inservice stuff happened.

The person who scheduled the first training decided first to start it 15 minutes earlier than she had advertised (believe me) no less than 8 times in the past two weeks! Then, after insisting that we ALL attend, she stated at the beginning that you really didn't have to be there if you weren't going to actually go to the pool. I left.

We then had dinner and an awards ceremony. I got the "Fourth in Goal" award for "always being the person who comes through in a pinch." I smiled and accepted the award. My compatriot, the art therapist, was the one person who didn't get an award. She and I just looked at each other. I'm surprised that they remembered me! (We tend to be left out of every recognition, attendance list, perk, early dismissal... you get the picture?) Then, we had to wait for one person to finish his progress notes, and we were released.

Is that enough? We haven't got to the tantrum yet.

Today is the talent show. I have a bunch of kids all ready to perform. My job is to provide the music, so I sat down at my computer (right around my normal bedtime) to burn my Talent Show CD. I had checked the iPod earlier in the week, found the songs that I needed, and made a list of the music that I needed to purchase. I was ready! Then, I sat down at the computer.

Now, I've been down this particular path before. You can find many of my rants here on this blog. I hate all iThings. They never work for me, and they tend to crap out right before I really need them.

I opened iTunes and was greeted with a message. "Your library has been damaged." The program started and then indicated that there was absolutely zero music files in my library. This is happening more often than not these days. For some reason, iTunes just can't seem to remember where my music files are located, EVEN THOUGH THE LIBRARY FILES DON'T CHANGE - the default location stays the same EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Enter the tantrum.

I had my meltdown, finally convinced the computer to talk to the iTunes program, started the exploration process (AGAIN!), and gave up. I admit it. I cried. I had a meltdown, and I behaved in ways that are not typical for a woman of my age and stature.

Let me tell you, it felt WONDERFUL! I was able to shriek and cuss and express my frustration with all the things that happened during the day, the week, the month, the last year...

I woke up an hour early this morning (3 am, for those of you folks who get to sleep in past dawn) to see if things would work or if another tantrum was warranted. Now I have three copies of every music piece that I've ever ripped or purchased, but three copies are much better than zero! I now have two copies of the Talent Show music ready for use today.

After my emotional catharsis (don't you like the fancy words) of yesterday, I feel more prepared for other things that will happen today. I know of about three kids who think they signed up for the show who did not. I know that there will be some kids who are upset about the attention that their peers get and they do not. I know that there will be some gems - kids who have never been seen as stars - who will be revealed this afternoon. I think I managed to convince the chicken handlers to do something else (there's a reason we call those who are cowardly, "chicken," right? Doesn't seem like a good idea to bring a chicken into a gym full of loud people, does it?), and I am going to eat a good breakfast (it's cooking right now at 4:45am). I am going to work, and then I'm coming home to do some deep breathing.

Wake up, all. It's time to get going.

Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend.