Opinions
I got into a spirited debate with my Father regarding the incident that happened in San Bernardino, California last week. This incident was literally close to home as the Inland Regional Center is about 30 minutes away from my parent's house and about 15 minutes away from my sister's house. I used to work with case workers from the Regional Center in my former life as a QMRP/Administrator. The shooting that happened struck really close to home and has shaken my family in different ways.
Things like this tend to send my Dad into political pronouncements that are directly contrary to my own views. So, we debate.
Now, for the purposes of this post, it is not important to know which side of any issue my Dad and I end up on, but let me just say that many topics lead us into conflict - education, politics, human services, budgetary topics - are just some of the topics that we agree to disagree about. We are both strongly opinionated people and have learned to discuss things in a passionate manner but still agree to respect the view of the other person.
Over the years, I have learned who I can talk to and who I can't talk to about various things. I have many friends that have ideas about things that are WILDLY different from my own, and I am able to maintain relationships with those people without problems. There are others that I just cannot tolerate and decide not to engage with in this matter. Those folks don't stay in my life for long - mainly because I can't tolerate being told that I am wrong in the opinions I hold.
For me, the debate is important to illustrate and flesh out my ideas and opinions about things. I engage with those who have different ideas than my own in an attempt to enrich my own understanding. I have rules, though. I will listen, but I want to be listened to as well. I want to ensure that the purpose of the debate is not to make converts, but to deepen the awareness of both parties. Neither party should end the debate with the phrase, "I'll pray that you come around to the right way of thinking." (Sidenote: Have you ever wondered what God does with these types of prayers? One person praying for the other person to come to his point of view while the other person is praying the same thing directed towards the first person. Or, the fans of one team praying for victory while the fans of the other team are praying for the exact same thing? - Oh no, I can't get started on this theme. It will take us into lots of strange thoughts...) The last thing is to realize that there are and should be many different viewpoints to all types of ideas and topics. It is fine to disagree, but the process should be full of respect for all parties.
How does this relate to music therapy? Believe it or not, there are many different debates that go on in the music therapy world every single day. There are debates about internships, education, advocacy, legislation, music skills, money, goals, and other topics that go on between music therapists from around the world minute by minute. The benefit (and the drawback) to this immediately interconnected world is that the debate goes on and on. It has the potential to never stop - this is both good and bad.
I was involved in a debate earlier this year. It was not something that I looked for, and I felt like I was ambushed by the other person who engaged with me. There was no respect shown, and the conversation became a blaming situation. After attempting to express myself in what I thought was a respectful manner and getting put down over and over again, I opted to stop engaging in the conversation. On my end, it appeared that the person who was arguing with me needed a person to vent on, and I was the one who was in the cross hairs. The conversation wasn't really meant to be a conversation. It was meant to be a way to bully someone into submission through yelling and spurious facts and accusations. I didn't want to engage and felt myself leaving professionalism and entering bullying world. That's not where I want to be - EVER!
With mutual respect and an agreement to disagree if necessary, any debate can be productive. We will disagree with each other. We will spend time arguing. If we also listen, we can come to decisions that are the best for the ultimate goal of every music therapist - the benefit of our clients. Debate is useful. It serves a purpose, but only when the parties involved actually believe that there is room for change and that both views are valid in their own ways.
I am lucky. I get to be involved in these types of debates with many different people. I get to talk to music therapy students, interns, professionals, stakeholders, clients, and those who have no idea what we do. I get to hear and contemplate all sorts of comments and discussions about music therapy. I get to help shape the direction of the profession on a local basis and on an international stage. I hope you do as well.
Anybody want to debate something?
Things like this tend to send my Dad into political pronouncements that are directly contrary to my own views. So, we debate.
Now, for the purposes of this post, it is not important to know which side of any issue my Dad and I end up on, but let me just say that many topics lead us into conflict - education, politics, human services, budgetary topics - are just some of the topics that we agree to disagree about. We are both strongly opinionated people and have learned to discuss things in a passionate manner but still agree to respect the view of the other person.
Over the years, I have learned who I can talk to and who I can't talk to about various things. I have many friends that have ideas about things that are WILDLY different from my own, and I am able to maintain relationships with those people without problems. There are others that I just cannot tolerate and decide not to engage with in this matter. Those folks don't stay in my life for long - mainly because I can't tolerate being told that I am wrong in the opinions I hold.
For me, the debate is important to illustrate and flesh out my ideas and opinions about things. I engage with those who have different ideas than my own in an attempt to enrich my own understanding. I have rules, though. I will listen, but I want to be listened to as well. I want to ensure that the purpose of the debate is not to make converts, but to deepen the awareness of both parties. Neither party should end the debate with the phrase, "I'll pray that you come around to the right way of thinking." (Sidenote: Have you ever wondered what God does with these types of prayers? One person praying for the other person to come to his point of view while the other person is praying the same thing directed towards the first person. Or, the fans of one team praying for victory while the fans of the other team are praying for the exact same thing? - Oh no, I can't get started on this theme. It will take us into lots of strange thoughts...) The last thing is to realize that there are and should be many different viewpoints to all types of ideas and topics. It is fine to disagree, but the process should be full of respect for all parties.
How does this relate to music therapy? Believe it or not, there are many different debates that go on in the music therapy world every single day. There are debates about internships, education, advocacy, legislation, music skills, money, goals, and other topics that go on between music therapists from around the world minute by minute. The benefit (and the drawback) to this immediately interconnected world is that the debate goes on and on. It has the potential to never stop - this is both good and bad.
I was involved in a debate earlier this year. It was not something that I looked for, and I felt like I was ambushed by the other person who engaged with me. There was no respect shown, and the conversation became a blaming situation. After attempting to express myself in what I thought was a respectful manner and getting put down over and over again, I opted to stop engaging in the conversation. On my end, it appeared that the person who was arguing with me needed a person to vent on, and I was the one who was in the cross hairs. The conversation wasn't really meant to be a conversation. It was meant to be a way to bully someone into submission through yelling and spurious facts and accusations. I didn't want to engage and felt myself leaving professionalism and entering bullying world. That's not where I want to be - EVER!
With mutual respect and an agreement to disagree if necessary, any debate can be productive. We will disagree with each other. We will spend time arguing. If we also listen, we can come to decisions that are the best for the ultimate goal of every music therapist - the benefit of our clients. Debate is useful. It serves a purpose, but only when the parties involved actually believe that there is room for change and that both views are valid in their own ways.
I am lucky. I get to be involved in these types of debates with many different people. I get to talk to music therapy students, interns, professionals, stakeholders, clients, and those who have no idea what we do. I get to hear and contemplate all sorts of comments and discussions about music therapy. I get to help shape the direction of the profession on a local basis and on an international stage. I hope you do as well.
Anybody want to debate something?
Omg, yes! Let's debate something.
ReplyDelete