A Non-Conventional Holiday

Thanksgiving is one of my least favorite food holidays. There may be many different reasons for this - lots of pressure around the holiday celebration, getting the stomach flu in a spectacular manner at Thanksgiving time, my grandmother's need to parade us around in her birthday celebration/Thanksgiving open house every year, the insistence upon formal portraits taken every year, and my own inherent stubbornness when it came to anything she asked me to do (I inherited my stubbornness from her, and she didn't really like it when I refused to do what she told me to do!). Long story short, the things that most people love about Thanksgiving literally turn my stomach.

I cannot stand the smells, the food, the hoop-la, so I opt to have Thanksgiving in my own way.

I make a delectable dish called Crepes Ensenadas. It is a gooey, cheesy concoction of ham, green chiles, monterey jack cheese, tortillas, and cheddar cheese roux that makes me feel very thankful. It takes me about 2 hours to make (from start to finish), and it is wonderful!

I find, when I don't have to focus on the things from my past that have stressed me out, I can celebrate this holiday in the way it is intended - giving Thanks.

Me at Three, Not Happy About Taking Pictures!

My dad doesn't understand this. His mother (the aforementioned grandmother) made a big thing out of this holiday. It was always around her birthday (November 22nd) and she was a home economics teacher who was able to entertain! There was always a big open house where all of her friends gathered to eat wonderful food, dress up in fancy clothes, and celebrate the season together. It was a time to show off the grandchildren to strangers. We would have the open house and then have a huge family dinner on the actual holiday that included cooking for hours and hours. The women and female children were expected to do all the work while the men-folk were not expected (or even wanted) to do anything.

There was a children's table and an adult's table. When I was old enough to be at the adult's table, my aunt decided that her daughter (the youngest) should get the place rather than me. It was just another thing to put on my list of things I didn't like about the holiday.

When I was in my undergraduate college years, I went to my grandmother's house for the holiday. She was unable to travel and my siblings and cousins were all in high school, so travel was more difficult for them and their schedules. She lived about an hour away from my school, so we spent the holiday together. This is when my own Thanksgiving tradition started to swerve from the tradition she had always insisted upon from all of us.

I called my grandmother (She preferred to be called Mama Icie) a bit before our first Thanksgiving. She started asking me about what we would eat.

Mama Icie: So, how big should the turkey be?
Me: Well, I don't like turkey, so don't get a big one. Just the size you think you could eat.
MI: Silence
Me: Silently thinking, "oh crap, I've done it again."
MI: I don't like turkey either.
Me: So, why are we getting a turkey?
MI: Do you like ham?
Me: I love ham.
MI: We'll get a honey-baked ham, then!
Me: Great!!
MI: Okay, now we need to talk about pies. We'll get a pumpkin pie, of course.
Me: I'm not a fan of pumpkin, but can we get a cherry pie as well?
MI: Starting to sound a bit excited now - I don't like pumpkin either. How about cherry and pecan?
Me: Oh, I love both of those!

Right after our meal, I asked Mama Icie why she served the things she did for so many years when she didn't like them. She blinked in confusion for a moment, and then said, "Everybody else liked them, so I made them." We both agreed that we liked our version of the Thanksgiving meal much better than the feasts that we had made and eaten before.

Mama Icie and I had two Thanksgivings and three Easters together before she passed away. I treasure those memories of a woman who I got to know in a way that my siblings and cousins didn't. We found commonalities after years of struggles and stubborn interactions (where neither of us would back down!). I believe that she would approve of my Thanksgiving holiday celebrations these days (though she would really want me to be at home with my family rather than in my own place), but my food choices would certainly be something she would enjoy.

For me, the holiday of Thanksgiving is not about what you eat, but about how you view the world. I can be just as thankful for a plate of noodles as I can for a feast.

I will be celebrating this holiday in my own way with as little fuss and muss as possible. There will be no open house, no command performances, and no turkey (or, SHUDDER, green bean casserole)! There will be me, talking to my family members about the blessings of our life while giving thanks for the things we have. I hope you have a wonderful celebration (American readers) and that you feel a sense of gratitude for the things that we have in this world (everyone, everywhere).

Happy Thanksgiving!