Primal

Yesterday, I screamed in the middle of a music therapy session.

This wasn't a rant or bearing instructions, it was just a horror movie type scream.

I typically save those types of emotional outbursts for after difficult sessions, but I went with my gut during said difficult session when almost all of my students were screaming at each other, flinging obscenities, and trying to beat the snot out of people on the other side of the way-too-small room. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and let it rip!

I opened my eyes and saw a bunch of confused, but silent faces looking at me.

My next words probably weren't the best, but they just slipped out.

"Now you are listening."

Okay. My best moment as a therapist? NOT AT ALL! I am not encouraging you to use the primal scream as a therapeutic tool, but there are times when it works.

Luckily for me, this time it worked.

We all practiced using our coping skills of breathing, ignoring, and counting numbers by every iteration we could - 2's, 7's, 5's, 10's. We talked about how we had to learn how to ignore since hurting other people was not good for us. We talked about appropriate ways to express our frustration.

I am not planning on screaming again with this group. It will lose its shock factor very quickly and will become a fun thing to do. "Let's see if we can get MJ to scream in music therapy today!" We may, however, use screams to express our emotions in a cathartic manner - have to make sure that it's only allowed in the music therapy room - I can't imagine ANY of our teachers encouraging that type of expression... On second thought, I don't think we should move forward with the screaming...

But, let me tell you, it felt great to be able to let out my frustration in a way that didn't hurt anyone and demonstrated that I am still louder than 11 students and 2 classroom staff members in full out tantrums! 

I've still got the opera lungs, people!

Thanks for the thoughts yesterday. I'm sending them right back at you!