Quotation Challenge - Thoughts that Spur Other Thoughts

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.
It's a relationship between equals.
Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity."
- Pema Chodron
 
(Apologies to the original author of this quote as I am unable to replicate the letters exactly as they were originally presented.)
 
Wow.
 
This was in my Pinterest humor feed today. I'm not sure why a person thought it was humorous, but it struck a chord with me. I talk to other music therapists about being human and recognizing that humanity on a regular basis, especially when interacting with our clients. This thought reminds me that is important to not only understand that I am human, but that understanding my humanity is essential to being an effective therapist. 
 
I often talk to therapists who start off many conversations with the phrase, "I should have done..." I often wonder why we, as a bunch of people, feel that we should be able to see the future. Why do we put expectations of perfection on ourselves? We are just as human as anyone else.
 
I have to know and understand what I bring to every therapeutic relationship before I can be truly authentic as a member of that relationship. I also need to be able to understand myself well enough so I can make informed decisions about whether I can be part of a therapeutic relationship with each client. When my humanity interrupts my ability to interact, I have to excuse myself from the process.
 
I also cannot pretend to understand everything that my client is going through - I do not have the same experiences, but I can realize that my own experiences have contributed to my personality and to the person that I am. I have to realize that I am flawed and continue to need work in order to address those flaws...celebrate those flaws...accept those flaws.
 
"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.
It's a relationship between equals.
Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity."
- Pema Chodron
 
 

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