Sick Day

So, today I am at home because I do not feel good. This has been a sudden situation manifesting itself in dizzy spells, lack of sleep, a vague ache all over, and just plain old feeling blah. I debated with myself for a while before deciding that I really did need to stay at home rather than try to drive while the world was spinning.

I hate being sick.

I always debate with myself when I am not feeling good. Here's a sample of my inner argument...

Boy, I don't really feel well...

So, what's going on? Why don't you feel well?

I'm not sure. Let's see - whoa, the room just spun around. Uh-oh! I have a headache, but it's not a sinus headache, it's different. I feel simultaneously hot and cold. Oh dear.

Maybe it's a stay-at-home kind of day.

What?? I can't do that. I have a meeting, two groups, and four individual sessions today. I can't stay at home. Whoa. There goes the room again.

You are not going to be able to drive your car much less coordinate the music cart. Let's be rational here.

Rational? You want rational? I've missed some other days this year and should probably not miss many more.

What kind of good will you be if you end up driving your car into a ditch because of all of this? Better to stay home now and get better before trying to commute and not doing it well...

Well, you make a good point. Now, what do I have to do to let people know that I'm not coming in today. Text the principals. Email the intern. Okay, back to sleep.

(Now, for me, the fact that I was able to go back to sleep indicates that I am sick somehow. This is not my usual form of sick.)

Does anyone else go through an internal debate when it is time to be human and call in sick? I know there are some out there because it has been a topic of conversation on various listserves and other social media. Why do we go through this?

My theory is that we go through all of this because we are helpers. We are passionate about helping our clients through music, and we feel guilty when we cannot complete our obligations. I feel bad that one group of students will not get music therapy services today, but I have to remind myself that I am no good to them when I am reeling from dizziness, feeling feverish, and not thinking clearly.

Back to sleep...so I can do therapy another day... 

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