Relax Into the Now

One of the things that constantly challenges me is relaxing. I do not find it easy to simply sit and do only one thing. I often do not feel that I am using my time wisely unless I am doing more than one thing. For example, at this very moment, I am blogging, watching a new television show, listening to a load of laundry churning away, and thinking of things I can do with my clients next week during sessions.

It is difficult to just sit somewhere. This is probably why I do not like meetings and inservices. I have to simply sit and listen to someone who may or may not be speaking about something that relates to me or my role at my facility. I often take a notepad or my laptop to meetings to keep myself occupied and multitasking the entire time. It really is a shame.

I find it hard to simply relax, to float, to not make lists of things to do. So, I don't. I keep myself going, find new challenges, and keep multiple tasks going at all times.

Then, I hit a wall.

If you've been reading my recent posts, you know several things about me. First, I am not feeling really well. Second, I have to plan a major surgery pretty soon. Something that may not have come across clearly is that I am on some pretty messed up medications for this illness that I have. The medications have some side effects that really mess with me. Among them, nausea and depression. Not exactly what I want to be doing right now, but my body has different ideas about what I need to focus on at this moment.

This is my current wall.

My problem with this is that my internal happenings affect my external interactions. It is difficult for me to maintain my therapeutic relationships at a level that my clients deserve when I have to concentrate on not vomiting all over the music therapy room. (Was that too much information?? Probably - sorry.) So, I have some choices to make about how I will be interacting with my clients in the next several weeks as I am on medication and getting ready for surgery.

One of the things that I will focus on during the next week and couple of days (the amount of time I have providing music therapy for the rest of the summer session) is encouraging clients to be active in making music - with or without me.

So, now it is time to start forward into the work week. I am equipped with a case of ginger ale, a cooler to keep things cold, and a current need for mashed potatoes - the real kind with lumps in them! It is time to relax into what is going on now. I am sure that I will figure out what my clients need as they arrive in the music therapy session. I am sure that each client and every group will find benefit in the interaction between music and myself. I am going to relax and allow the dominoes to fall as they will...