Professional Bullies

It is amazing how some folks attempt to control others through intimidation and posturing behaviors. The "I'm better than you" attitude shines through in interactions and gets in the way of appropriate professional demeanor. I am currently involved in a situation where I am being harassed by a coworker. His entire form of communication with me is antagonistic, abrasive, and abusive. He yells, he makes inaccurate assumptions, and he tries to embarrass me in front of my clients and coworkers on a regular basis.

I have followed professional protocol by reporting these behaviors to my supervisor, and, when she didn't do anything, by filing a formal grievance with the school district. When we had our face-to-face meeting, he stated that he didn't want to fight because he was "there for the kids." Well, how nice.

We established some ground rules for professional interaction in the future. We established a code phrase to mean "back off" and leave. I am not holding out much hope that he will be able to follow those guidelines, but you better believe that I will be documenting all interactions for the next step in the grievance process.

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, all ages and attitudes, and happen throughout the life cycle. I think this guy feels threatened and overwhelmed and has decided to make me the focus of all things evil in his life. 

I had an intern who did the same thing once. Even though all of the different aspects of her life were changing in ways that she could not control, her attitude was that I was making her miserable. It was my fault that she had to find a new apartment. It was my fault that she had to work to support herself. It was my fault that she was feeling overwhelmed by life. She was easier to deal with than this guy.

I am thinking lots about the bullies throughout my life these days. Sean and Eric, this post is for you!

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