Paying Attention
Today, September 11, 2011, is the tenth anniversary of the world trade center bombings. There has been absolutely NO WAY you could escape that fact here in the States. This has been a good thing and a bad thing.
I remember where I was when I heard about the incidents that happened on September 11th. I was in my old music therapy room at my current facility when the school secretary entered the room in a flurry. She told me that the world trade center had been bombed. (Information was a bit spotty in a place with limited internet exposure and no television access - she got her information from the country music station that she could listen to in her room. My room did not pick up many radio stations.) My first response was a simple thought of "again?" The world trade center had been bombed before.
As I heard more about what had happened, my thoughts were varied. I went through dismay, surprise, fear, anger, and disgust. (The disgust was from all of the people here in Kansas who panicked, convinced that we were the next targets that they all had to go to the gas station, waiting in line for 5 hours, and go pick up their children so they would be safe. By the time we started to hear the actual details of the situation, all flights were grounded and there was no way that someone would be able to fly over Kansas to crash into our... what? corn fields??)
My reactions were somewhat different from the reactions of the people that I worked with at that time. My clients (children and adolescents with developmental disabilities and psychiatric disorders) were mainly oblivious to the ramifications of the situation. They did not seem to know what was happening, but their fear was very real. We spent lots of time talking about being safe. We spent time talking about how to contact people if something happened. We acknowledged all feelings and then emphasized the safety of us provided by the airline shut-down and the increased presence of the military. I spent about as much time with my co-workers, calming them down.
A lesson I learned during this whole time is that panic is something that has to be acknowledged, but it really cannot be fixed.
There is no way to fix a person's panic. You have to pay attention to their fears, whether you think they are valid or not. Once you have heard their fears, you can start to help them think through their fears. They have to be the leaders in this process as the only person that can calm a fear is the person him or herself.
I am a therapist which means that I am a helper. I remember the lesson that I learned on September 11, 2001 each and every time that I start to work with a person by addressing fear. I remember that every time I start to develop my own panics and fears.
We sing a song that I learned from John Lithgow's Singing In the Bathtub album. The song is called, Big Kids. The song talks about a small child who is scared by the big kids that he sees at school. He moves through a process where he meets a smaller child who is scared of him. The "A-ha" moment occurs and all of a sudden, the fear is understood. We substitute our own fears into the song, and then develop strategies to help us in the middle of our panic. I always lead the way with my fear of tornadoes. My kids (all mid-westerners at this time) scoff at this fear, but it is very real to me. They help me with my strategy and then we progress into their fears. We pay attention to each other and help each other through situations.
Lesson learned.
I remember where I was when I heard about the incidents that happened on September 11th. I was in my old music therapy room at my current facility when the school secretary entered the room in a flurry. She told me that the world trade center had been bombed. (Information was a bit spotty in a place with limited internet exposure and no television access - she got her information from the country music station that she could listen to in her room. My room did not pick up many radio stations.) My first response was a simple thought of "again?" The world trade center had been bombed before.
As I heard more about what had happened, my thoughts were varied. I went through dismay, surprise, fear, anger, and disgust. (The disgust was from all of the people here in Kansas who panicked, convinced that we were the next targets that they all had to go to the gas station, waiting in line for 5 hours, and go pick up their children so they would be safe. By the time we started to hear the actual details of the situation, all flights were grounded and there was no way that someone would be able to fly over Kansas to crash into our... what? corn fields??)
My reactions were somewhat different from the reactions of the people that I worked with at that time. My clients (children and adolescents with developmental disabilities and psychiatric disorders) were mainly oblivious to the ramifications of the situation. They did not seem to know what was happening, but their fear was very real. We spent lots of time talking about being safe. We spent time talking about how to contact people if something happened. We acknowledged all feelings and then emphasized the safety of us provided by the airline shut-down and the increased presence of the military. I spent about as much time with my co-workers, calming them down.
A lesson I learned during this whole time is that panic is something that has to be acknowledged, but it really cannot be fixed.
There is no way to fix a person's panic. You have to pay attention to their fears, whether you think they are valid or not. Once you have heard their fears, you can start to help them think through their fears. They have to be the leaders in this process as the only person that can calm a fear is the person him or herself.
I am a therapist which means that I am a helper. I remember the lesson that I learned on September 11, 2001 each and every time that I start to work with a person by addressing fear. I remember that every time I start to develop my own panics and fears.
We sing a song that I learned from John Lithgow's Singing In the Bathtub album. The song is called, Big Kids. The song talks about a small child who is scared by the big kids that he sees at school. He moves through a process where he meets a smaller child who is scared of him. The "A-ha" moment occurs and all of a sudden, the fear is understood. We substitute our own fears into the song, and then develop strategies to help us in the middle of our panic. I always lead the way with my fear of tornadoes. My kids (all mid-westerners at this time) scoff at this fear, but it is very real to me. They help me with my strategy and then we progress into their fears. We pay attention to each other and help each other through situations.
Lesson learned.
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