It is almost time for my return to the music therapy clinic. I have enjoyed my time off and would, naturally, take more time off if offered. On the other hand, I think I am about ready to get back to my work routine. I enjoy the daily grind - seeing lots of clients everyday, supervising interns during their sessions, talking to co-workers, and trying to keep up with e-mail.
There are lots of things that I enjoy in my job. I love making music - that should be a given for someone in music therapy. I especially enjoy watching my clients make their own music. I love the days that we focus on performances, talent shows, holiday programs, and the like. My clients are not shy. The inhibitions displayed by many folks when performing are simpy not present for my clients.
I also enjoy developing innovative therapeutic music experiences for my clients. They appear to enjoy new songs. I like thinking up ways to teach them new concepts through music. It keeps the job fresh and keeps me in the music therapy clinic year after year.
There are some things that I do not currently enjoy about my job. The "team" that was prevalent during previous years is shattering into pieces. Long-term staff members are trying to decide whether they should stay until they can retire or cut their losses and move somewhere new. As a therapist, I am often the person who knows about things that I do not need to know - a hazard of being a listening-type person, I guess. The frustrations are splintering the staff at my job. This makes for a tense situation that has nothing to do with therapy or the challenges present with my clients. Folks feel ignored, under-valued, put-down, and isolated. Most of these feelings are, rightly or wrongly, focused on our new administration. We have gone from being a 'team' to being a group of folks who work with the same students in the same building. This has been a change for us. We used to be in the loop - we talked to one another, the principal let us know what plans were being developed, and we made decisions as a group. This does not happen anymore.
My strategies for dealing with the current work situation include remaining in my beautiful room (see picture above for one view) and enjoying the fact that my administrators have never taken me up on my invitations to come down and play with us. While I feel like I am not an important part of the team since no one seems to care, I also really enjoy the independence of being ignored. In addition, I stay as far away from the negative members of the team. I spend more time in my room now rather than going to the staff lounge. I have much more time to compose songs, develop TMEs, and talk to my interns. It is easy to escape into my job responsibilities. These are some of the good things that have come out of my work situation.
As my summer break concludes, I find that I am looking forward to the return to running therapy sessions. I am not looking forward to the disconnected staff that I will be working with upon my return.
Running the risk of sounding petulant, I want things to change at work. I want my 'team' back. I miss knowing what is going on with future planning. I want to be in the know when it comes to things like structural changes, members of the staff, changes in classroom assignments, job expectation changes, and other things that I once knew. I really want the new administrators to see what music therapy is and what it means. I want to fix the situation so everyone is happy again.
Aaah. The therapist in me wants to fix things for others.
The pragmatist in me knows that I cannot fix things for others. It is not my job to fix everything in my world. I would explode if I tried.
Deep thoughts for the end of vacation.
Something that all therapists face at some point, I think.
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