You think things are going along fine, and then, WHAM! A wall!!

I have always felt extreemly lucky to work for my boss. She is someone who genuinely cares for the people that work for her as well as for the people we serve. She is not afraid to tell it like it is and hope that it could be better. She understands the difference between therapy and education and is willing to allow us to implement our own ideas. She is also able to quash our unrealistic and petty situations.

I found out yesterday that my boss is leaving. This blog entry is part of my grieving process.

We all gathered for what we thought was going to be a happy meeting - we have had unhappy situations before - the facility closing between Christmas and New Year's, all of us unemployed, kids leaving in droves. So, we thought there would be a time to giggle and get together as a group to discuss our unifying theme. Our boss started the meeting with "There's no way to ease into this. Just rip the band-aid off. I'm leaving." The mood in the room immediately plummeted. One paraprofessional, a person who does not have many filters between her brain and mouth, yelled, "Traitor!" Most of us felt that it was true, even if the time and place wasn't quite appropriate. Our boss took it all in stride. She told us what she was going to be doing, dismissed the meeting, and then went to hide until we left the building.

It has been distressing and fascinating to watch my friends and colleagues go through the early stages of grief. Most of the staff members are in anger and betrayal stages of Kubler-Ross's DABDA stages of grief. I am quickly cycling through all of the stages with touches of Acceptance now and then. I did wake up extremely early this morning wondering what was wrong with me, and then remembered.

At this time, I am scared of what the future may bring to the staff at my facility. We will be leaderless for a time - hopefully a short time - but I have to believe that when God closes a door, he opens (at least) a window. I do not know what the process is for hiring a new boss at my facility - we are a strange facility funded through public monies but completely private.

I am hoping that the director of children's services steps up to the situation on Monday and tells us what to expect. I am hoping that our new boss is able to function in our setting with all of the feelings of hostility that are already starting to surface. I hope that the new boss will recognize the importance of music therapy to the clients served and to the history of the facility and will let me continue to run my own program. I am also hoping that I will not have to leave a job that I love for personality difficulties. I could go on, but this is getting too depressing.

Here are my hopes...

  1. We find a person so perfect for use that we are able to continue to serve the children that need us desperately.
  2. Music therapy continues to flourish in the facility, growing to accommodate new situations and new people.
  3. My friends and coworkers find their way to acceptance of this situation and start looking at the possibilities that are opening.
  4. We find ourselves a more cohesive team, able to address the challenges that are present while we are leaderless.

We will survive and become stronger for having this experience.

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