music, therapy, and me

How to be thrifty? I think that this will become more of a focus for me in the next several years as I transition from full-time work at my current job to retirement and other work in a politically charged environment where I will not be better off. I've lived through this thing before, and I know from experience that I will not be better off once I retire. (One year and seven months from now... not that I'm counting or anything!) Some of my current plans will have to change to accommodate new experiences and taxes and the loss of Social Security or a change in the retirement age - all things that are currently being discussed. I am a bit in panic mode about all of this, but I also know that I will be okay. I do not plan on being completely retired once I leave my school job. I intend to take my pension after 30 years of work at my current facility, and then I also intend to work somewhere while working on my side hustles. I will still need health insurance and something to do

I took my second of three three-day weekends this past weekend, and now I am facing the need to actually go to work for the next four days. After that, I will have another three-day weekend and then work for two days, and then I get a five-day weekend. November is back to how I prefer it - limited work time. My first foray into professional development came to via Kanopy - it was a 90's documentary on Music and Movement. It was geared towards preschool teachers, but it was a good reminder of the research behind pairing music and movement for learning outcomes. All of the non-development things that I tried this weekend were thwarted by outside influences. The eye doctor could not verify if my appointment was covered. I was offered the opportunity to pay the entire cost (before tests) and to try to get reimbursement. I opted not to do so. This new insurance company really stinks compared to what we had for the past two years. It is also more expensive (of course). The grocery order

Okay. This has not been a really hard week in most estimations, but my students are struggling in music therapy, my moods are mostly negative from the outset, and there isn't much that is happening in the world that I can find positive right now. When the outside world gets too much for me to navigate, I stop paying attention to anything other than my 52 mile radius. I will not be reading news stories. I will not be listening to npr. I will do what I can to insulate myself from the strong feelings that happen when I have difficulty with the feelings out in the world. I will avoid saying specific names for the next four years, and I hope that I will actually be better off in 2028 than I am at this moment. Unfortunately, my recent history indicates that I will not. I am better off right now than I was in 2020 at the same time, so I do not think that anything will get better for those of us who are not billionaires. Do I sound bitter? Probably, but this is why I have to keep myself wr

I am in a mode of starting projects, and this one is a doozy. For some time now, I have wanted to change the way my craft space looks. I have a hollow door that I use as my table space, and yesterday, the door was sticking out into the room. This format provided a way to sit and craft while watching television, but when my family came to visit, it became obvious to me that this configuration really blocked most of the room. So, an idea started in my brain to push the door flush against the wall. I started that project yesterday morning.  Now, the thing about me and projects like this one is that I have some ideas in my head of what I want to accomplish, but my body no longer sticks with things until the bitter end. So, I currently have all the furniture pieces put away where I want them, but I have much more to go through, organize, declutter, and then use. I have displaced all of the things that lived in that corner. They are now scattered all over the rest of the room. Fortunately, I

This week has been rough. During my warm-up time before the first sessions of the morning and again before the first sessions of the afternoon, I have been engaging in some improvisation. Most of my songs have been cast in a minor mode that reflects the feelings that I have and continue to experience. It is interesting how musicians and artists can work through their emotional ups and downs through creativity. I know that this is a good way for me to process my feelings, and I hope that others will take advantage of this as well. Sing the songs that help you figure out what you are feeling. Write the music that expresses how you feel. Share that music as you feel safe. I will sing my songs of grief and lament until I can feel hope and some glimpse of the way forward. In the meantime, it is time to write the music that needs to be written. 

I am taking the next two Fridays off for professional development and for collecting some CMTEs for this certification year. I am doing this for several reasons. First, by taking these next two Fridays, I will only miss one clinical session. Second, by taking the second Friday, I will miss having to go to the circus. The circus is a source of trauma for both myself and my mother. I am the reason that my siblings never went to the circus with our family. Neither Mom nor I could handle a repeat of what happened the day we went when I was a toddler! Sorry, siblings, but I'm not all that sorry, if you know what I mean! For some reason, the administrators at my facility are REALLY good at scheduling mandatory participation for my trauma triggers. To avoid the trauma response in myself, I have had to do things like this - take professional time to avoid being placed in situations where my trauma experiences take over my rational mind. I don't share that I am filled with fear when I h