Feeling Rough

Every so often, I have to work a 12-hour day in my role as a school-based music therapist. I dread those days with a passion, primarily because I spend most of the day sitting in my small, dark music therapy room with occasional breaks for (shudder) team-building exercises, and then I end up sicker than a dog afterwards.

I've been able to avoid most of our 12-hour days this year because administration scheduled them on Wednesdays - I have another job on Wednesday evenings, so I get to work flex time rather than going through the rigor of 12-hour days. We've finished three of our five 12-hour days in the first three months of school - only two more to go.

This last day, the one where I did most of the 12-hours (but not all - I left after 11 hours because I felt sick and had already worked overtime that week), left me exhausted. I slept in until 7:30 yesterday morning and 7:00 this morning. My allergies are morphing into something else - at this point, I can't tell if it is cold or pneumonia based, but it's not just allergies any more. So much fun.

Yesterday, I spoke to a student in an Introduction to Music Therapy class from a new education program here in the Midwest. This student asked me some basic questions - how did I become a music therapist, what is the most challenging aspect of being an MT, and what is the best thing about being a music therapist. The student stated that she was going to change her major from music therapy to special education. I asked her how she found me, expecting something like, "I searched the web," but, no. She found me through the AMTA website - just searched for therapists nearby.

Too funny.

I spent a little time putting together a visual aid for next week's sessions - Halloween carols and choice visuals for my non-verbal clients. It is nowhere near to finished. I need to sit down and keep plugging away at the assembly, then laminate everything, and then figure out if other therapists will be interested in the product. I'll use it next week with most of my clients. It's the only Halloween thing I will do, so I want it to be enough.

Here are the things I need to do:
  1. Laundry - there is always laundry to do, so this stays on my list all the time
  2. Dishes - ditto
  3. Pick up medications - I have to wait until 9 am before the pharmacy opens, so here I sit, waiting until I can actually go and get my meds. I don't usually wait until I have used all of it, but it kinda snuck up on me this week
  4. Visual Aids - Halloween Carols and icons to use when picking songs to sing - I am almost finished with the prototype and then need to make 4 more to cover all of my clients
  5. Plan meals for next week - I need to figure out how to be more effective with planning my work lunches. I want to take my lunch to work since I tend to feel more healthy when I do so, but I have this difficulty with actually making lunches in the early morning. So, I need to plan a bit more and then FOLLOW THE PLAN! (That's the hardest part for me - following the plan)
Here are the things I want to do:
  1. Cry
  2. Sleep
  3. Cry some more
  4. Eat mashed potatoes made with chicken broth to help with the ick that's happening right now
  5. Figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life...
This is a common list for when I get sick and tired. I cry. I sleep. I eat things that aren't very good for me, and I stress about all of my life choices - every challenge, every failure, every bad relationship. Until I can get my brain to find the positive things that are around me (and there are LOTS of positives in my life - Hi, Janice!!), I'm not fit for human company. Once I get rid of the negative mind goblins, I am on the road to recovery.

My next step? Go get my medication from the pharmacy and then come back home to make mashed potatoes with chicken broth. Then I will snuggle into my bed and keep making visual aids. I will wallow in my negativity and will know that it's not true - it's just my fever talking.

Goodbye for now, dedicated readers (I figure you have to be dedicated to read this self-pitying post!!). Tomorrow is Just a Song Sunday. See you then?

~mj

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