Saturday Stuff - Finally, I am Going to Weed Whack My Yard!

I currently live in the middle of a jungle.

My backyard is growing very tall weeds at the moment, mainly because I am not at all inclined to mow or anything, but also because I was in severe pain most of this spring and just didn't have the brain capacity to think about finding someone to mow my yard during the summer months. When I finally came out of the haze of nerve and pain medications, the weeds were tall and taking over everything. Last weekend, I was ready to tackle the jungle out there, but I couldn't open my sliding glass door. I have to have electricity to run my weed whacker, and there is no outlet in my backyard. So, I have to be able to have the sliding glass door open so I can run the extension cords out to the weed whacker in my backyard.

The guy came yesterday and tried to fix my door. He was not able to do it either, so I feel better about my home maintenance skills. At least he unlocked the door, so I am now able to get in and out. I am just waiting another 90 minutes before I head out there with the loud tools to help my reputation with my neighbors. I also need to get on some long pants, my sunglasses, and some sturdy shoes because I know myself, and I do not need to hurt myself while weed whacking things.

I am not really all that enthused about doing all of this, but it is well past time to get started. Of course, today is in the center of yet another heat advisory, but I am hoping that I can get at least some of the weeds taken down by the time the sun is fully on my backyard. If I need to whack tomorrow, I will. I will try to make this a habit when I get back from work on days when the heat is tolerable (translation - in September!).

I have never been an outside person, but I know that I have responsibilities to my neighbors and to my house value. I've been very anxious about all of this. I continue to be very anxious about all of this. I will continue to be anxious about this until I start to do this task and make it part of what I do. My mother and my friend both stated that I should start a garden. I have no interest in starting a garden other than it is what my mom and my friend both enjoy doing. I have no idea if I even have a spigot to hook a hose up to in the backyard. I guess I will look for that when I go out in 79 minutes (now).

Ugh.

I can feel my blood pressure creeping up. This may have something to do with the fact that I have not taken my medications yet...be right back.

Okay. That should help.

There are many things to do. I spent most of yesterday downstairs rather than upstairs. I went up the stairs to take a shower and that's all. It felt strange which is ridiculous. I think I will spend time upstairs in the soon to be entertainment room after I whack the weeds.

I always want a plan for my days. I feel guilty if I just sit and do nothing. Then, I change my plan, and I feel guilty about changing the plan. It is difficult for me to realize that I just don't have to do anything, and that I don't have to have a plan. I almost always start of my sentences with "I need to..." The fact is that I do not really "need" to do anything. 

Well, I need to address the state of my backyard. That is a need.

This has been a strange week for me and mine. There are way too many personal details to post on an open blog, but we have had lots of ups and downs with family and friends. It has been mentally and emotionally exhausting, and I am feeling that exhaustion while I am feeling restless and crabby and unsettled about all sorts of stuff. The feeling is pervasive in the family members that I am in contact with at the moment - we are all unsettled and feeling complex layers of emotion on top of emotion on top of emotion. This has not been the most restful of weeks.

It is now 7:08am, so my weed whacking time is coming closer. I may just do some book making while I am waiting for the time to arrive where I can start making some loud powertool sounds in my backyard. It has been a couple of weeks since I made a book, so I am just about ready.