Getting Ready to Do the Music Therapy Thing Again
Things weren't as bad as I thought they would be with the whole dish situation - I had used almost all of the forks that I owned, but silverware was the only full section of the washer. Things are being washed now, so that chore is off the list. There are smaller things left to do, but the big one - those dishes are started.
The end of break always comes too soon. I don't think I would feel that way if I had the entire summer off, but I have never had that experience, so I cannot say for certain. Anyway, I'm in the same old pattern of complaining, and I do not want to be in that sort of mood, so I am going to try to reset myself.
Resetting in 3...2...1..
To reset myself, I usually spend a little bit of time breathing, focusing on being mindful of why I am feeling so crabby or sad or sluggish, and then I find a something or other that I have accomplished recently. So, the breathing thing is difficult these days - the temperatures aren't too bad but the humidity is very high. It makes taking air into my lungs very difficult, so I am going to take my inhaler before I breathe.
Breathe. As a vocalist, you would think I would remember the importance of breathing deeply and correctly, but I do not and often have to stop and fix my breathing. I haven't had to sing with my full range for over a year. It is time to start working on that again. I got the full-size digital piano to work, so I could start vocalizing in the morning with the keyboard. Perhaps I will make this a goal - working on my singing and breathing. Anyway, for the purposes of this blog, it is time to take some deep breaths.
Breathe. In and out. Feel the air come into the lungs. Hold it there for a bit of time and then release it. Start the process again.
As you breathe in, sense where you are holding tension. Release that tension with the exhalation. Continue to breathe until that tension becomes tolerable or dissipates completely.
My tension is in my right shoulder this morning - this is partially due to my asthma and also due to my sleep position. As my medication takes effect, I can draw air into my being a bit more easily. My body is asking for some stretching, so I am going to do some of that - stretching my torso to change how my body is feeling. Couple that with breathing and things feel a bit less tight and end up being looser.
Mindfulness. For this process, I use my blog most often. Writing about things helps me to identify what is going on and what I want from life. For now, I know that this tension is related to my breathing difficulties, my difficulty in finding a new home, and the rush of the end of break and having to head back into a work routine. I start my list of things to acknowledge and then release into the ether to either be addressed or released as appropriate.
I have a hand doctor appointment on Wednesday. I am not sure that I have done what I need to do to get to the next step of my recovery situation. I have to release that feeling of inadequacy because I cannot change what is going on. House hunting continues in this strange market. We will see if I can find something that I like for myself. I can only go see what I can go see. Release. Breathing - this is something I can do a bit about. Take my medication. Continue to focus on my deep breathing with good breath support.
Anything else? I don't think so. I feel better about the approaching end of break. It happens each time I actually go through this sort of situation. The end of all breaks are known to me and are both anticipated and dreaded throughout the actual break.
Looking forward to the rest of this week, I hope to go see some houses later this afternoon, I have the aforementioned doctor's appointment, and that's all that is on the schedule for the moment. That leaves an entire day and hours on each of the other days to work and relax. I spent some time yesterday in my craft room, throwing things out. Those things are in the dumpster now, so they are gone! The dishes are being washed right now. The laundry is mostly done and is waiting for me to put it back into the closet which is an area of my life that I am actively avoiding right now. Being mindful of that, I will make it a focus this upcoming weekend - clear out the closet, donate clothing, throw out other things, and organize what remains. I always feel better when I have finished this task, but I hate doing it. Better to do it now than when I am trying to move to a new house, though. The more I can do at the moment, the easier packing and moving and unpacking will be.
Today's tasks are to replace two light bulbs, write some reminders in my bullet journal for things like fire extinguisher inspection and my upcoming doctor's appointments, reminding myself to make an appointment to see my nurse practitioner (can't do that today because of the holiday), and various and sundry other small things to do - unload the dishwasher, make meatloaf, freeze portions of the things I have already made, and make my grocery list to pick up tomorrow.
Through all of this self-focus, though, in the back of my mind is an ever running theme of "what will you do with clients on Thursday?" It is time to start getting ready for returning to work. Thanks to my breathing and mindfulness situation, I can think about it without feeling that tension returning to my shoulder girdle. I am going to grab my June box out of the closet, print off my sing about june editions (there are two now), review the TME ideas, and use my work bullet journal to coordinate session strategies for the next month. It is time to turn some of my thoughts back to work.
But, I do have three days left of break, so work thoughts will not take me completely over. See you tomorrow for a TME Tuesday!
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