Small Steps
Today is the start of the 2017-2018 school year. Kids come to class and to sessions starting today. I've had to deal with teacher complaints about their schedules (talk to others, not to me!) and assisted in reassigning four out of twelve group assignments (that will cause some consternation today, I am SURE!). In the music therapy room, we are going to do some rhythm work this week.
As I have mentioned before, music therapy tends to be the only place where my students have positive experiences in a music environment. This is usually because my students don't participate easily in general music education as most music educators know how to engage. Add in the fact that most of my students do not understand many of the concepts of music education (seriously, why do we call that a quarter note?) and the additional fact that they have serious behavior responses when they are not engaged, and most music educators just cannot work with my students. So, many of them come to their first music therapy sessions with angry attitudes and hostile posturing. It is not uncommon for my first interactions with a new client to include some sort of "Music is stupid, and I'm not going to do it" comment.
My response?
"That's fine. You can choose not to participate. I am going to still ask, though, and if you change your mind, you can always join us. The rule is that you have to sit up, but you don't ever have to participate if you don't want to." (Depending on the kid, I break these statements up so I'm not talking all that much at one time."
This is usually met with a couple of blinks.
I can see the thoughts crossing their minds - "Does she mean this?" "I'm going to test this." "She doesn't seem to mind that I'm saying 'No, thank you.'" "That looks pretty fun, and my peers are doing it." "Maybe this won't be so bad after all." "May I have a turn?" "Okay." "Not bad."
These steps usually take a couple of weeks to get through, but there are some clients who need lots more time. I had one young man who took about three years to realize that I meant what I said about participating and communicating before he actually started to engage in a way that indicated his ideas and needs. (He was a day student and was with us for his entire education, so I had the luxury of lots of time with him.)
He and I had a discussion (rather one-sided) about how I wanted to know how he was feeling during the session. I wanted him to tell me what he wanted to play when it was time to play instruments. I wanted his contributions to our music.
I asked him to initiate the discussion during the opening TME through volunteering for a turn. If he would communicate with me, I would respect his wishes. If he did not communicate with me, it was my job to ensure that he was participating. I then had to make choices for him which was not what I wanted to do. After lots of attempts to ignore me, he finally realized that I would honor his communication and requests. After that, he would often be the first person to indicate his wants and wishes and emotions. I also told him that he could respond whatever way he wanted - positive, negative, bored, etc. He quickly began to flip me his middle finger when he was displeased with me and my decisions.
These days, most of my clients are not around for their entire education. I find, however, that most of my clients don't need three years to get involved in the music therapy way of doing things. Often, the music works its magic and things get going.
We are going to spend some time playing with rhythm wheels and instruments this week. We are going to match notes to other notes. We are going to make music together. We are going to split up and learn in smaller centers. We are going to do some sensory exploration. There will be lots going on in the music therapy room.
Oh, that reminds me, I need to choose a Musician of the Month for this month before my first session starts...
Take those small steps. They are worth it, even when it doesn't seem like you are moving very far.
As I have mentioned before, music therapy tends to be the only place where my students have positive experiences in a music environment. This is usually because my students don't participate easily in general music education as most music educators know how to engage. Add in the fact that most of my students do not understand many of the concepts of music education (seriously, why do we call that a quarter note?) and the additional fact that they have serious behavior responses when they are not engaged, and most music educators just cannot work with my students. So, many of them come to their first music therapy sessions with angry attitudes and hostile posturing. It is not uncommon for my first interactions with a new client to include some sort of "Music is stupid, and I'm not going to do it" comment.
My response?
"That's fine. You can choose not to participate. I am going to still ask, though, and if you change your mind, you can always join us. The rule is that you have to sit up, but you don't ever have to participate if you don't want to." (Depending on the kid, I break these statements up so I'm not talking all that much at one time."
This is usually met with a couple of blinks.
I can see the thoughts crossing their minds - "Does she mean this?" "I'm going to test this." "She doesn't seem to mind that I'm saying 'No, thank you.'" "That looks pretty fun, and my peers are doing it." "Maybe this won't be so bad after all." "May I have a turn?" "Okay." "Not bad."
These steps usually take a couple of weeks to get through, but there are some clients who need lots more time. I had one young man who took about three years to realize that I meant what I said about participating and communicating before he actually started to engage in a way that indicated his ideas and needs. (He was a day student and was with us for his entire education, so I had the luxury of lots of time with him.)
He and I had a discussion (rather one-sided) about how I wanted to know how he was feeling during the session. I wanted him to tell me what he wanted to play when it was time to play instruments. I wanted his contributions to our music.
I asked him to initiate the discussion during the opening TME through volunteering for a turn. If he would communicate with me, I would respect his wishes. If he did not communicate with me, it was my job to ensure that he was participating. I then had to make choices for him which was not what I wanted to do. After lots of attempts to ignore me, he finally realized that I would honor his communication and requests. After that, he would often be the first person to indicate his wants and wishes and emotions. I also told him that he could respond whatever way he wanted - positive, negative, bored, etc. He quickly began to flip me his middle finger when he was displeased with me and my decisions.
These days, most of my clients are not around for their entire education. I find, however, that most of my clients don't need three years to get involved in the music therapy way of doing things. Often, the music works its magic and things get going.
We are going to spend some time playing with rhythm wheels and instruments this week. We are going to match notes to other notes. We are going to make music together. We are going to split up and learn in smaller centers. We are going to do some sensory exploration. There will be lots going on in the music therapy room.
Oh, that reminds me, I need to choose a Musician of the Month for this month before my first session starts...
Take those small steps. They are worth it, even when it doesn't seem like you are moving very far.
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