Getting older is no joke. Now, if you aren't of "a certain age," then this post may not make much sense to you now, but it will eventually make a bit of sense when you start to feel that age is a contributing factor in the decisions that you make for yourself and those around you. I have spent the last week in the midst of perimenopausal emotion swings and angst and hysterical sobbing and a complete an utter failure to be able to focus on things outside of myself. My emotions, combined with personal grief, incapacitated me in my role as a therapist. I was not able to engage in therapy and so I spent my session time engaging clients in passive music experiences rather than challenging them in their goal areas. I had to do this due to my own instability and fragility. I took some time away from sessions because I didn't want to cry in front of my clients. I'm not comfortable sharing that part of myself with them. Right or wrong, it was the decision that I made for m
I am feeling pretty good today - lots less of the hysterics that have been happening the past two days and lots more of the rational brain kicking in (so far, at least). I thank you for reading over my posts lately. I know that these emotions are not comfortable for me to have or to share, but the ability to write things down and then put them out in the world is an important part of my process in handling things that I am uncomfortable with - and sharing my feelings is one of those things that I have difficulty doing. Isn't it strange that I have difficulty sharing my own feelings? This is literally what I encourage my clients to do all the time - share how they feel. Yet, when someone asks me, I tend to just cry. That is my emotional communication style. I cry. I always have, and I hate crying in front of other people because I always cry. I try to stuff my emotional response down as far as I can, but I also know that stuffing emotions is not healthy. It's a strange conundrum