Thoughtful Thursday: Tension and Relaxation
I've changed my quotation box this morning. It felt like it was time, so I did. When I change things, I usually just feel where the cards split and use that as my way to select a new card. Today's card has the following quotation:
All of my music therapy entry-level education, I compared myself to my co-students. As an entry-level clinician, I compared myself to my co-workers. As a music therapist, I still compare myself to other music therapists, and I often find myself lacking.
No one forces me to see these things in this manner. I just naturally go there - to self-criticism and doubt.
When I feel myself sliding into that cycle of jealousy (yep, I get jealous of those people out there that I want to be), I now stop myself and think. Why do I feel this way? Did that person do something to me? Did they figure out a way to make things work that hadn't occurred to me? Do I wish that I had the idea first?
These feelings are feelings that are not caused by anyone other than myself. No one out there is thinking, "Let's make sure that we announce this where MJ can see it so she gets all jealous and angsty and tense." Absolutely NO ONE! It is all just me. I think I should be better and more like other people, but it's really not true.
When I was an undergrad, I never had a chance to see what my classmates were doing in practicum. I worked with non-traditional students instead of folks my own age, so I only got to see how they interacted in classes. I was the weird one, so I didn't really fit in, but I also didn't know how I compared. That not knowing really caused lots of tension in my life, but I eventually learned that it just didn't matter.
Letting go of the feelings that are stirred up when I compare myself to someone else is the best form of relaxation. It's a relief to say to myself (and really believe it), "Their success does not diminish my life in any way." The trick, though, is to truly mean it.
We feel this proverb in music as well. We feel tension in suspensions and unexpected chord changes. We feel relaxation and resolution when the music settles into the expected. Without that tension, however, the relaxation is not as important to us. Without tension, how can you recognize the resolution?
I am going to spend some time today thinking about tension in my workplace. I am going to release what I can release into the world and address what I can work on.
That's really all I can do.
Happy Thursday, all!
"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." ~ Chinese ProverbIt's amazing, isn't it, how much we put upon ourselves by thinking what we should be? Perfect woman, perfect mother, perfect therapist. The list can go on and on, but the reality is that most of our concepts of perfection are those that we place upon ourselves.
All of my music therapy entry-level education, I compared myself to my co-students. As an entry-level clinician, I compared myself to my co-workers. As a music therapist, I still compare myself to other music therapists, and I often find myself lacking.
No one forces me to see these things in this manner. I just naturally go there - to self-criticism and doubt.
When I feel myself sliding into that cycle of jealousy (yep, I get jealous of those people out there that I want to be), I now stop myself and think. Why do I feel this way? Did that person do something to me? Did they figure out a way to make things work that hadn't occurred to me? Do I wish that I had the idea first?
These feelings are feelings that are not caused by anyone other than myself. No one out there is thinking, "Let's make sure that we announce this where MJ can see it so she gets all jealous and angsty and tense." Absolutely NO ONE! It is all just me. I think I should be better and more like other people, but it's really not true.
When I was an undergrad, I never had a chance to see what my classmates were doing in practicum. I worked with non-traditional students instead of folks my own age, so I only got to see how they interacted in classes. I was the weird one, so I didn't really fit in, but I also didn't know how I compared. That not knowing really caused lots of tension in my life, but I eventually learned that it just didn't matter.
Letting go of the feelings that are stirred up when I compare myself to someone else is the best form of relaxation. It's a relief to say to myself (and really believe it), "Their success does not diminish my life in any way." The trick, though, is to truly mean it.
We feel this proverb in music as well. We feel tension in suspensions and unexpected chord changes. We feel relaxation and resolution when the music settles into the expected. Without that tension, however, the relaxation is not as important to us. Without tension, how can you recognize the resolution?
I am going to spend some time today thinking about tension in my workplace. I am going to release what I can release into the world and address what I can work on.
That's really all I can do.
Happy Thursday, all!
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