Tardy. Not Good For Me.
Yesterday, I awoke at 5:50am - two hours later than I usually awaken. Needless to say, I started the day in panic mode and had to get going in a rush to get to work when I wanted to get to work. I am usually leaving for work at 5:50 am, not just waking up. I made it to work when I wanted to get there and was able to go through the rest of the day without feeling that panic that usually sticks around me when I am late for something...anything...
For me, tardiness is an unforgivable curse in myself. I am not as insisting about it in others as I am in myself. I cannot abide being late. That one guest that shows up at the time on the invitation when you are still getting ready for the party? Yep. That's me. I have learned over the years that it is better for the hostess if I stay in the car and wait until I can see another guest than to ring the doorbell at 6:59 by myself.
Isn't it interesting how some ideas and expectations are difficult to tolerate in yourself? I can't abide being tardy for something, but I have no problem with dirty dishes sitting in my sink. I am a stickler for organization in my music therapy clinical space and not so much at my house (though my mother grudgingly admits that there is an organizational structure to how my stuff gets piled up around me). I am someone who will pile things into the car and carry them around for weeks and weeks but who will not manage to get to the grocery store until all I have left in my cupboard is a can of sardines and some chocolate chips. (Yes, I like the occasional sardine. Don't judge me - they are fishy, oily goodness!)
I do what I can to minimize the effects of tardiness in my life. I give myself permission to leave early for important appointments. I take a book with me everywhere so I have something to do while I am waiting for my appointment. I do not stress about being early - and I leave in enough time to make sure I don't have panic moments about being late.
Today I am going to leave later than usual on purpose. There will be some moments when I have some twinges of panic about not getting to work really early, but there is nothing to do that requires my early presence today. I'm caught up on my documentation, the school store won't be available until after 9am, and I don't have much to do that is work-related other than session planning for next week and most of that is finished as well. So, that means an additional 30 minutes at home this morning.
For me, tardiness is an unforgivable curse in myself. I am not as insisting about it in others as I am in myself. I cannot abide being late. That one guest that shows up at the time on the invitation when you are still getting ready for the party? Yep. That's me. I have learned over the years that it is better for the hostess if I stay in the car and wait until I can see another guest than to ring the doorbell at 6:59 by myself.
Isn't it interesting how some ideas and expectations are difficult to tolerate in yourself? I can't abide being tardy for something, but I have no problem with dirty dishes sitting in my sink. I am a stickler for organization in my music therapy clinical space and not so much at my house (though my mother grudgingly admits that there is an organizational structure to how my stuff gets piled up around me). I am someone who will pile things into the car and carry them around for weeks and weeks but who will not manage to get to the grocery store until all I have left in my cupboard is a can of sardines and some chocolate chips. (Yes, I like the occasional sardine. Don't judge me - they are fishy, oily goodness!)
I do what I can to minimize the effects of tardiness in my life. I give myself permission to leave early for important appointments. I take a book with me everywhere so I have something to do while I am waiting for my appointment. I do not stress about being early - and I leave in enough time to make sure I don't have panic moments about being late.
Today I am going to leave later than usual on purpose. There will be some moments when I have some twinges of panic about not getting to work really early, but there is nothing to do that requires my early presence today. I'm caught up on my documentation, the school store won't be available until after 9am, and I don't have much to do that is work-related other than session planning for next week and most of that is finished as well. So, that means an additional 30 minutes at home this morning.
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