Slogging Through

Today is a day where writing is not coming easily to me. I can usually sit for a time, write a couple of paragraphs, and find my way into various ideas and topics, but not today. I've been staring at the blinking cursor, using the backspace key, and eliminating entire posts because they just aren't interesting me.

 I know that this happens to other people who write as well, so I'm not really worried, but I really don't like this feeling.

 I'm even struggling with coming up with my personal happiness statement. Nothing seems to be motivating me today. I'm not sure why, but I think it may have something to do with my upcoming vacation (which is both a source of distress and eustress) and seems to be taking up my entire life at the moment. It is certainly taking over my thoughts which are darting from place to place and task to task. It is interesting that writing lists (my usual way of quieting a busy brain by putting things on paper) is not really working to ease my brain - it is just increasing the rate and pace of the thoughts. Ugh.

 I feel a bit split between the "now" me and the "near future" me. I'm starting to feel guilty about all sorts of things, and my mild anxiety is happening to me at strange times. I get caught up in those types of ideas and then I realize that I am not doing what I need to do in this moment. Then, I feel guilty about being stuck in my thoughts, and the entire thing just seems to spiral.

 Okay, okay. It is time to focus and get myself ready for the day ahead. Yesterday went well (surprisingly to me - I was expecting much, MUCH worse), and I am hoping that today goes as smoothly (probably just cursed myself, but oh well). I have to get some small errands done after school and I need to get them ready. I will go to work a bit later than I've been going lately. I will get through the next three work days, and then I'll be able to vacate. It will be nice to be focused on one thing and one thing only.

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