Too Much Happening? Perhaps.
I had to take a sick day today.
It is Day FIVE of the new school year, and I am already needing to be at home, dealing with my health, rather than being at work, where I belong! I am absolutely disgusted with myself and with my body right now, sitting here, four hours later than I usually blog because of my body. I am feeling guilty and sick - never a good combination.
Yesterday was a bad day. It started with complete exhaustion and ended up with four out of my six group sessions requiring behavior management assistance that kept clients and others safe. Kids were screaming, staff were stressed, I felt ineffectual - it all added up to a loud, nonproductive day in the music therapy room. It took all the effort I had to go to work yesterday, but I went.
I came home yesterday feeling completely wiped out. I was dwelling a bit more than usual on the bad sessions that I had led, and I was just exhausted. I tried to stay awake until the bedtime that I want to have, but I think I feel asleep before that time.
At 12:58 am, I awoke, fully sick.
Okay, my body is telling me something. This is a situation that has happened to me before, so I know that it takes some time to get over, and I know that I need to be close to home during this situation (a 52-mile drive to work is just a bit too far today). I know everything except for what causes all of this stuff to happen.
I am now wondering if my bad day is the cause of this sick, or if the sick is the cause of my bad day. My condition is made considerably worse by stress. I didn't eat anything new or different in the past several days, and I avoided the water at work completely (that also makes my condition significantly worse - there is something in the way that the water is treated that makes me very sick). So, now I'm thinking that I may be able to predict this situation a bit more in the future.
Have a bad day at work? MJ, get ready for a bad night full of sick. The problem with that is that it is not completely predictive. I've had bad days before and not had any problems with my condition the next day.
Start to feel sick? Get ready for a bad day at work. That's not always true, either.
Keep going the way I've been going? Seems like that is the plan for the moment.
Time for dedicated attention to self-care. I am going to follow the recommendations for my condition and only consume simple things for the next couple of days. I am going to sleep today to make up for the lack of sleep that I've had recently. I am going to try to alleviate the guilt feelings by remembering that I have to take care of myself in order to best take care of others.
I am also going to evaluate my stress level at this moment, right now. I honestly didn't feel all that stressed until most of my group sessions were just completely difficult - then, the stress arrived.
Ah, self-doubt, my old foe.
When these feeling happen, I tend to go into creativity mode. I journal, I blog, I make things. I think over the situations that occurred and try to figure out what happened to make things go the way they did. I talk to other people in my life to see if what happened was just going on in music therapy, or if it was everywhere. (Many of the groups yesterday were wild, from what I heard from others - whew! It wasn't just me!!) I think back on my role in the situation and try to figure out what to do the next time this happens, because it will. It always does.
For the moment, however, I am going to decrease what I have to do in order to focus on what I need to do.
Step One: I am going to go back to bed and try to catch up on my sleep.
Step Two: I am going to cuddle with the cat (who always knows where it hurts and hangs out around that area - seriously! She provided me with deep pressure on my recently aching joints and then cuddled up by my side this morning. I wonder if she is intuitive about me...)
Step Three: Identify stressors and make some plans about what to do to help me prepare for this type of situation in the future.
Happy Friday. (It will be happy, I know it.)
It is Day FIVE of the new school year, and I am already needing to be at home, dealing with my health, rather than being at work, where I belong! I am absolutely disgusted with myself and with my body right now, sitting here, four hours later than I usually blog because of my body. I am feeling guilty and sick - never a good combination.
Yesterday was a bad day. It started with complete exhaustion and ended up with four out of my six group sessions requiring behavior management assistance that kept clients and others safe. Kids were screaming, staff were stressed, I felt ineffectual - it all added up to a loud, nonproductive day in the music therapy room. It took all the effort I had to go to work yesterday, but I went.
I came home yesterday feeling completely wiped out. I was dwelling a bit more than usual on the bad sessions that I had led, and I was just exhausted. I tried to stay awake until the bedtime that I want to have, but I think I feel asleep before that time.
At 12:58 am, I awoke, fully sick.
Okay, my body is telling me something. This is a situation that has happened to me before, so I know that it takes some time to get over, and I know that I need to be close to home during this situation (a 52-mile drive to work is just a bit too far today). I know everything except for what causes all of this stuff to happen.
I am now wondering if my bad day is the cause of this sick, or if the sick is the cause of my bad day. My condition is made considerably worse by stress. I didn't eat anything new or different in the past several days, and I avoided the water at work completely (that also makes my condition significantly worse - there is something in the way that the water is treated that makes me very sick). So, now I'm thinking that I may be able to predict this situation a bit more in the future.
Have a bad day at work? MJ, get ready for a bad night full of sick. The problem with that is that it is not completely predictive. I've had bad days before and not had any problems with my condition the next day.
Start to feel sick? Get ready for a bad day at work. That's not always true, either.
Keep going the way I've been going? Seems like that is the plan for the moment.
Time for dedicated attention to self-care. I am going to follow the recommendations for my condition and only consume simple things for the next couple of days. I am going to sleep today to make up for the lack of sleep that I've had recently. I am going to try to alleviate the guilt feelings by remembering that I have to take care of myself in order to best take care of others.
I am also going to evaluate my stress level at this moment, right now. I honestly didn't feel all that stressed until most of my group sessions were just completely difficult - then, the stress arrived.
Ah, self-doubt, my old foe.
When these feeling happen, I tend to go into creativity mode. I journal, I blog, I make things. I think over the situations that occurred and try to figure out what happened to make things go the way they did. I talk to other people in my life to see if what happened was just going on in music therapy, or if it was everywhere. (Many of the groups yesterday were wild, from what I heard from others - whew! It wasn't just me!!) I think back on my role in the situation and try to figure out what to do the next time this happens, because it will. It always does.
For the moment, however, I am going to decrease what I have to do in order to focus on what I need to do.
Step One: I am going to go back to bed and try to catch up on my sleep.
Step Two: I am going to cuddle with the cat (who always knows where it hurts and hangs out around that area - seriously! She provided me with deep pressure on my recently aching joints and then cuddled up by my side this morning. I wonder if she is intuitive about me...)
Step Three: Identify stressors and make some plans about what to do to help me prepare for this type of situation in the future.
Happy Friday. (It will be happy, I know it.)
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