A Bad Night

I had a bad night last night. It started with a bite from a client - lovely big bruise blossoming on my left leg, continued with a snarky comment from a co-worker about a task I had to complete, and ended with little to no sleep and the start of a cold or allergy response (I think it's an allergy, but we'll see). In the middle of that was a disagreement with my father about insurance companies (I try to avoid any type of political discussion with my father because it ends up with me upset). I'm not sure if the disagreement was due to the fact that I'm not feeling well or if I'm not feeling well because of the disagreement (chicken and egg deal), but I am tired, I can't breathe, and I am ravenously hungry.

I am taking the day off.

I really shouldn't as I am almost out of time, but I don't think I can stay awake enough to drive the hour to work. I already have a group cancelled (they are going on a field trip, we found out late on Monday), and I already have sub plans ready for tomorrow (a planned day off). So, the groups for today will use the sub plans and the groups for tomorrow will also use the sub plans. Not the best arrangement, but the options open to me right now.

I don't have bad nights like this on a regular basis, but I have them enough to know that they affect me in my role as a therapist. It is difficult to keep my eyes open and get from one place to another in a safe manner. My responses to my clients are slow and the internal takes over the external.

I hate when my body takes over like this, but I know that it signals more than just a bad night. I will sleep, take some medication to help me breathe, and work on decreasing my obsession about things that my brain just can't let go of during the overnight hours. I will also make sure that I eat something that is good for me.

I'm going back to bed for a couple of hours before trying to get myself back into a routine. I am going to take the time now to help me later on. (But, I still feel guilty about needing this time.)