I Simply Cannot and Do Not Understand
I like to think of myself as a compassionate person who loves more people than she doesn't. I like to think that I don't have difficulties with those who are different from me in any way at all (now, I do know that I have biases, but I try to acknowledge them and work with them). I like to think that I have an empathetic nature that tries very hard to treat all people the way that I want to be treated.
I never think that violence is the answer to any situation.
I get very sad when I see things happening in the world, in our country, in my state, in my town that cause hurt to others. I grieve for those who are hurt through the actions of others who make choices to harm others. I despair when I hear stories about police officers hurting and/or killing people, when I hear stories about people hurting and/or killing police officers, when I hear about suicide bombers or gunmen/women who shoot strangers, when I hear about care givers hurting and/or killing those in their care.
I cannot and will not respond to violence with violence.
I find that many of the people who are involved seem to think that one violent act deserves another.
Now, I've been in situations where I was concerned about being hurt by another person. I've been hurt by others through my work with my clients. I've had to put my own responses and feelings aside so I could continue to treat the same clients who hurt me. It is not easy, but it is something that has to happen in order to break the cycle of violence. A conscious choice.
It is very easy to blame groups of people - "It's the fault of gun companies/laws/legislation/terrorists/black people/white people/police officers/etc." - but the simple (and difficult) reality is that it is the choice of each person involved how to respond to each situation.
Every act, whether violent or peaceful, begins with a choice.
It took conscious choices of police officers to engage recent victims in confrontational episodes which led to death. It took conscious choices of snipers to plan attacks on police officers which also led to death. It took conscious choices of the care giver who recently beat a former client of mine. These choices led to behavior that hurt others.
It takes conscious choices of each and every one of us to go into the world in a way that will bring conflict resolution rather than conflict perpetuation.
Every time I decide to interact with someone else, I make a choice about how I will interact. I continue to make choices about how my interactions will happen. The other person in the interaction also makes those same choices.
Last night, I hosted a webinar about conflict resolution. We talked about active listening, finding solutions, and engaging others in discussion. The concept of using rational thought rather than emotion during resolution sessions seemed simple enough. We also talked about having to walk away from situations that are untenable. These are conscious choices that (in my opinion) should be the goal of all human beings.
I cannot live with constant reminders, discussion, rehashes, and the 24-hour news cycle. I do not want to see news segments from every single outlet who can access a video/twitter feed/facebook discussion/etc. I will not listen to my talk radio shows because all they will discuss will be variations on a theme. "Why do these things happen?"
Well, duh. These things happen because we seem to have forgotten that on the other side of any conflict there is a human being as well; one who thinks, reacts, and makes choices on how to interact. It seems easier to make assumptions and move forward in violence than to acknowledge our own responsibility to treat others well.
I cannot do this any more. In my own little corner of the world, I will continue to seek to be a conflict resolver rather than a conflict perpetuator. I will not feed the media preoccupation with violence by patronizing their broadcasts. I will not be silent about the need for non-violent responses to the behavior of others. I will not make excuses for any person who responds in a violent manner to someone else. There simply is no excuse for any violence directed towards another person.
Take responsibility for actions. If I do something, then I will own up to it. I will state that I am angry about something, but I will NEVER have the right to harm another person. My rights end where your body begins. As soon as I do something to you, my rights are just gone. I made a choice and should have to acknowledge that choice and live with the consequences.
Being an adult means using that rational mind when involved in emotional situations. I wish more of us could do that.
Rant is just beginning, but this post is over.
I never think that violence is the answer to any situation.
I get very sad when I see things happening in the world, in our country, in my state, in my town that cause hurt to others. I grieve for those who are hurt through the actions of others who make choices to harm others. I despair when I hear stories about police officers hurting and/or killing people, when I hear stories about people hurting and/or killing police officers, when I hear about suicide bombers or gunmen/women who shoot strangers, when I hear about care givers hurting and/or killing those in their care.
I cannot and will not respond to violence with violence.
I find that many of the people who are involved seem to think that one violent act deserves another.
Now, I've been in situations where I was concerned about being hurt by another person. I've been hurt by others through my work with my clients. I've had to put my own responses and feelings aside so I could continue to treat the same clients who hurt me. It is not easy, but it is something that has to happen in order to break the cycle of violence. A conscious choice.
It is very easy to blame groups of people - "It's the fault of gun companies/laws/legislation/terrorists/black people/white people/police officers/etc." - but the simple (and difficult) reality is that it is the choice of each person involved how to respond to each situation.
Every act, whether violent or peaceful, begins with a choice.
It took conscious choices of police officers to engage recent victims in confrontational episodes which led to death. It took conscious choices of snipers to plan attacks on police officers which also led to death. It took conscious choices of the care giver who recently beat a former client of mine. These choices led to behavior that hurt others.
It takes conscious choices of each and every one of us to go into the world in a way that will bring conflict resolution rather than conflict perpetuation.
Every time I decide to interact with someone else, I make a choice about how I will interact. I continue to make choices about how my interactions will happen. The other person in the interaction also makes those same choices.
Last night, I hosted a webinar about conflict resolution. We talked about active listening, finding solutions, and engaging others in discussion. The concept of using rational thought rather than emotion during resolution sessions seemed simple enough. We also talked about having to walk away from situations that are untenable. These are conscious choices that (in my opinion) should be the goal of all human beings.
I cannot live with constant reminders, discussion, rehashes, and the 24-hour news cycle. I do not want to see news segments from every single outlet who can access a video/twitter feed/facebook discussion/etc. I will not listen to my talk radio shows because all they will discuss will be variations on a theme. "Why do these things happen?"
Well, duh. These things happen because we seem to have forgotten that on the other side of any conflict there is a human being as well; one who thinks, reacts, and makes choices on how to interact. It seems easier to make assumptions and move forward in violence than to acknowledge our own responsibility to treat others well.
I cannot do this any more. In my own little corner of the world, I will continue to seek to be a conflict resolver rather than a conflict perpetuator. I will not feed the media preoccupation with violence by patronizing their broadcasts. I will not be silent about the need for non-violent responses to the behavior of others. I will not make excuses for any person who responds in a violent manner to someone else. There simply is no excuse for any violence directed towards another person.
Take responsibility for actions. If I do something, then I will own up to it. I will state that I am angry about something, but I will NEVER have the right to harm another person. My rights end where your body begins. As soon as I do something to you, my rights are just gone. I made a choice and should have to acknowledge that choice and live with the consequences.
Being an adult means using that rational mind when involved in emotional situations. I wish more of us could do that.
Rant is just beginning, but this post is over.
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