music, therapy, and me

Here I am, sitting in my cool house and complaining about things. It is time for a RANT, people, and here we go! (If you are new here, there are times when I just start writing whatever I can and all the things that I am thinking, feeling, and trying to figure out. Today seems to be one of those days, so here it goes...) I am tired. I am crabby. I am time-zone lagged, and it is showing in my patterns and routines. I am not going to sleep when I usually sleep, and I am waking up groggy and cranky. I blame this on my recent travels and the lack of rest that I got when driving and flying and driving again. I will try to nap today, but thoughts about what I "should" be doing keep me from resting - there's that SHOULDA goblin again... I have not been to the library since I took out a bunch of books that I did not read. I overestimated my interest in reading before my trip, so I had books that I did not even open. I now have so many books to read that I really cannot justify an...

Forgive me as I take one more day away from my scheduled themes to finish up my break chronicles and start getting back into a routine. It has been a long month, but I am back at my home right now and am thinking about the future very seriously. I drove 1,500 miles between Sunday morning and yesterday afternoon. I arrived at my home around 4:30pm after driving to Tucumcari, New Mexico on Sunday. I enjoy driving, and this trip was bittersweet because I think I will be making only one more of these trips, and it should be one-way. The trek from the Midwest to California on Interstate 40 is one that every person should make at least once in their lives. The scenery and history that is involved is absolutely mind-boggling, and the trip is pretty easy on the interstate. I enjoy seeing the scenery changes and experiencing different times of the day and the sunshine in the different regions of this country. Today's primary goal is to clear out the car. I have lots of electronic things and...

I am leaving home - probably for the last time - to travel across our country via car. I have significantly more stuff in my car than I did when I traveled towards this destination, and that is making me laugh. I have about five new toy xylophones to add to my collection of toy xylophones. I have a bag and a box of turn of the 20th century antique sheet music. I bought a cookbook, two books on lettering styles, and lots of fiction to add to my collection. My sister and my mother (AKA my enablers) gifted me with a set of colorful Lummi sticks (think smooth rhythm sticks that people use to make rhythmic patterns including tossing to one another. I am taking home all of my father's Echo dots (they creep my family out), a speaker set that I gifted to him before he died (never opened and made him cry), his robot vacuum (which also creeps Mom out but that I think she would love if she actually tried it), a new laptop (which my business bought when my Chromebook gave up the ghost), all so...

During my trip back to the East Coast with my Mom, I did something that I have not done for 3 months (the anniversary was yesterday) - I sang with other people. I have been surprisingly quiet since my days have gone from singing all day, everyday with all my clients to being at my home, just doing what I wanted to do. I have not been making much music in my own company, mainly because music is something I share with others now. We sang one hymn. I sat next to my mother and sang the soprano part of Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise.  Her alto voice and my voice compliment each other in ways that only voices that have sung together for many decades can do. We sang this familiar hymn in the company of residents of the retirement community that my Mom's best friend, Aunt Mary, lives in and seems to manage many different parts of the community. She organizes the weekly worship service as well as runs the gift store and is involved in a personalized playlist program with persons with me...

There is much fun to be had today. My sister will be coming up after school, my best friend from elementary school (my last elementary school) will be stopping by on her way to a long weekend, and I am starting to get ready to go home after three weeks away. I intend to travel this weekend, so I am starting the process of organizing things and making room in my car for all the stuff I have accumulated. There's isn't much, but there is more than what I arrived with, so things will have to shift a bit. This leaving and heading east comes with a promise that I will be returning permanently pretty soon. I don't know exactly when, but it will be sometime in 2027 that I move from my current home to a new place out here. I am looking forward to taking the road trip one last time between homes and driving in a leisurely manner from my home in my current state to this one. I do not usually do a leisurely drive when I am on these road trips, so taking my time next time is important t...

Boy, oh boy, it has been an interesting several weeks over here in my life. I have traveled over 4000 miles, spent time with family and friends that I have not seen for many years, had two job interviews (sorta), and am now waiting for my best friend from elementary and junior and high schools to blow through in a visit on their way to another destination before heading out into the world to go back to a place where I am retired and able to live on my pension - mostly. I am in a place where I do not know where my future lies - again. I am dithering as I try to figure out what to do next. I do not like this situation, so I am trying to hold onto some thoughts, but I am not sure how to do this right now. I am going to spend the next three days just trying to enjoy my current existence without thinking too much about the "what nexts" that are in my life at the moment. If I could only turn off my brain right now... To add to all the stuff happening, Meta One has now determined th...

Forgive me as I engage in some vague discussions about various topics that I do not want to publish... I have a decision to make about something going on in my life that will shunt me off into a direction different than the one that I have been envisioning lately. I have various and sundry things to think about, and I have to figure stuff out a bit in order to make this decision. When I am faced with critical decisions about my life and what I will be doing with said life, I have several systems that I use to make the entire process easier on me and my loved ones. Let's talk about those systems today... (I promise that this next paragraph will make sense - eventually. Just bear with me, okay??) I am a paper planner. I use my books in several ways - as a journal, as a calendar, as a task organizer. In the back of my books, I keep pages blank to use as needed for whatever else I need to work through. The books that I have currently are being used up as much as possible before I start...

I have a series of music therapy resources for music therapists out there that no one has ever really heard about - sing about songs . These collections are sometimes theme-based, sometimes released monthly, and sometimes just my collections of therapeutic music experiences (TMEs - AKA what I do in sessions with clients). I always write out procedures and provide sheet music for original songs or full source materials when using other music, and I think out all sorts of therapeutic functions for the music provided as well as for the clients engaged in the TME. These editions are labors of love - a passion project - for me, and I always feel a bit queasy when I talk about them, but I am finding that I need to get more comfortable with the idea of promoting my intellectual property to a target audience. sing about songs   is the fruit of my first thesis idea. I wanted to design a music-enhanced education resource for music therapists and non-music therapists, and I had it most of the...

The best thing about being on vacation for a long period of time is that I start to get new ideas and start feeling the itch to be back where I have all my stuff around me to accomplish those new ideas. (Does that make sense?? I am still jet-lagged and exhausted - Mom and I went to bed around 7pm last night.) I am getting to that point now, but I still have a week at my destination, so I have to write things down and defer them until later. A friend and I did some peer supervision on Saturday, and she mentioned that she was introducing the concept of instrument families to her clients. That started my brain, and now I am designing an instrument family edition of sing about songs . I could start the visuals here - I think all of the instrument clip art is in my cloud - and will probably end up doing that this week. I have all sorts of Zoom things happening this week - an interview, an I/DD support meeting, another for a discussion about music therapy influences and mentors. I have alrea...

I can tell you, I love the quiet. I have not turned on a television for over a week now, and the lack of commercials and noise has been wonderful. I have streamed some content, but I have not touched the television remote at all. I am enjoying a bit of quiet. This is not sustainable, and I know that, but I am enjoying it all the same. When I am at my mother's house, we watch what she wants to watch. If I want to be near her, then I have to watch Hudson and Rex , and All Creatures Great and Small  (not my thing AT ALL), and Blue Skies , and all sorts of shows that I do not have access to in my streaming world. So, I tend to watch my Netflix dramas upstairs in the sauna room with western light access where it has not dipped below 75 and tends to remain around 80 degrees all the time. Not that I'm complaining (but I really am!). I find that silence is what I need to refresh my creativity and my need for music. When I am constantly surrounded by noise (even noise selected by me and...

Thursday has come around again. I am packing up my clothing and all my stuff from this trip because we leave tomorrow. It has been a good trip - lots of socializing and still more to go before we are finished. It is not over for me. There are more things to do in our next destination. Being away from my home and being in several different places has been good for me. I have had lots of time to think about various options for my life. I have an ultimate destination in mind for where I want to be. What I want to do is forming in my brain. I am trying to figure out how to find money to do these things. Right now, I am tempted to play the lottery to find funding for my dreams, but I know that I need to find something a bit more realistic. By the way, does anyone want to give me money?? I will take it! (Tongue firmly in my cheek right now!) Having this time to think has been good for me. I have been able to talk over plans with people who love me and who have absolutely no interest in my di...

I am spending this week with my mother and her best friend. They have known each other since they were 3, and since they are in their early 80's now, they have decades upon decades of friendship to go through. Aunt Mary has not lived near my mother since they were 18, but it takes no time at all for them to fall back into old routines, Girl Scout songs, "remember this?" discussions, and inside jokes. We came on this trip so Mom and Aunt Mary could see each other again. Mom is in the season of life where her friends are disappearing into their mortality or into memory care facilities. She is losing them and does not know how to get back into touch with many of her friends from high school and college. Aunt Mary is not one of those friends, but her husband passed away this year. It was important for us to see her rather than just relying on emails.  So, Mom and I arrived early on Monday morning and have been spending the days with Aunt Mary. I leave after dinner and head to...

Good morning, all, from a quiet-ish hotel room where I spent the night away from my mother and her best friend. We flew to the East coast on Sunday, drove to her friend's house yesterday, and will be going to the lake house to visit one of her stepkids today. Tomorrow will be some shopping and then we will go to a church service at her community facility. After we finish the trip, we will head out to visit my aunt and uncle before heading back to the West coast. I will stay for another week and then start the journey back to my home to figure out what I am going to do about money. In the midst of all of these plans, I have been offered a job interview for a position out west, so there are lots of things happening out here... Right now, I need to take a shower, go down and eat breakfast, and then prepare myself for yet another trip performance. It is interesting how much energy it takes to travel, but I do enjoy it. Seeing "Aunt Mary" has been good for Mom and for me. She ...

On the Road Again - as performed by Willie Nelson - is on my mind this morning. Mom and I are jetting off to the East coast for a visit with my Mom's best friend and to see my Aunt and Uncle. I have checked us in for our flights, arranged for the car pick-up, and found our hotels. Now all we have left to do is go. The cat has been coming to sleep on my plastic folder that is full of notebook paper and thoughts. He doesn't usually come to share this space because it used to be my brother's room, and my brother did not like his cat coming into the room. I love having the cat come visit, so we are healing some kitty trauma by encouraging him to sleep here. We are going to be on the road for a bit, and the song just keeps going in my mind. So, what do you think I am going to do? Well, I am going to make this into a therapeutic music experience, of course! On the Road Again was written and performed by Willie Nelson. The song was released in 1980 (I thought it was earlier than t...

That's right, folks. Today's post is coming to you from a brand new laptop since my Chromebook got a disturbing bulge under the case and started to get very hot. It also reset all of my saved passwords and refused to connect to the internet. I do not have the time or patience to fix it right now, so I used some of my business money to purchase a new way to compute. To be honest, I prefer laptops to Chromebooks, so this was a good step up. I now have a reliable device to use for my various projects while I am here. This will be a business device for later, so I can write off a bit of the cost when it comes to tax time. That will be helpful. The thinking and brainstorming continues, and I have stated my intentions to move back here and start a business in Rancho Cucamonga to my mother. The next step is to get my sister going because she is a doer not just a dreamer. She will probably have me signed up with several realtors before I finish the sentence (she reads the blog occasion...

It is early on this Friday morning, and I am watching Cafe Minandang on my tablet while blogging. I have already rambled on this site for quite a while, but I also deleted all of that and am starting anew. Today should be pretty quiet, at least until my sister arrives to shake things up. We spent all day yesterday moving across town to try to get something done for my mother. The state screwed up something and is not wanting to admit that they were wrong. That meant trips back and forth from the bank to the DMV and back again several times... It was a busy day, and I fell asleep around 7:30 local time. I am now up and researching small business grants and loan guarantees to see if there are any financial incentives available for me in this state. I am working on a simple business plan to help guide me to what I want to do here. My sister is asking all sorts of institutions if they offer home loans for me. She cracks me up when she goes into information gathering mode. I am hoping that ...

It is horribly hot in the room where I am staying right now, but that's pretty much the way things go at the moment. There is no place that is cool in this region, so I am just sitting in front of a fan while doing my morning routine. I bet my mother will not emerge for another four hours, so this is my alone time. It is quiet at the moment. I enjoy my quiet time in this house. I spend most of my time trying to figure out how to entertain myself when I am visiting this place. I am going to be moving around to different places in the next week, so this is good practice for being a pleasant house guest. Meanwhile, I am sitting here in the midst of my mother's paper crafting supplies and tools. I come by my hoarding tendencies due to nature and nurture. My grandmother (Mom's Mom) was also a collector of art materials and teaching stuff, so both my Mom and I have been shaped into the packrats we are. I am going to play with paper while I am here - Mom will never miss the stuff ...

I am currently about 900 miles away from home, sitting in a hotel room, and waiting for enough time to pass so I can get the complementary breakfast that is offered. Why? You may ask? Well, my mother wants to see her best friend, my sister wants me to visit, and I have little to no time constraints at the moment. So, I am hurtling towards my family at speeds of up to 85 mph in order to get there, get on a plane, fly back across the country, and visit someone that has been my mother's best friend since kindergarten. That's why, This is definitely a nostalgia break, for sure. My mother's friend is impressed at how I put together our itinerary. (For gracious' sake, Aunt M, I am 56 and have done this a time or two before!) We are going to fly across the country (over my house) and visit. After that, I have about a week before my friend arrives at where I will be staying. I am trying to set up some music therapy meetings to ask questions and see what my future might hold for...

Nothing seems to be working right now, and I'm starting to take it personally! Do you ever have times when every technology thing that you touch just goes kaput? My sister and I tried twice to talk this morning and got cut off. Threads is struggling. Instagram is struggling. Facebook is struggling. Coincidence? I doubt it, but still, I wonder what is going on in the cyber world. My AC stopped cooling things earlier this week, and I spent about 4 hours with the HVAC specialist who gave it a tune up and wash and then did not charge me anything. My website will not update with the new PayPal buttons that I need to get things working again - I think that is a way for my hosting company to squeeze more money out of me. I can't seem to figure out what is going on with the electronic things around me, but I am hoping that it will sort itself out pretty soon. Things are starting to sort themselves out on my Meta apps. That's good because I use those often. I can't figure out wh...

It is Friday, right? That's what the calendar says at least, so I bet it is actually Friday. My day started the way most of my working days started - early but rested. It was a nice change from the way things have been going lately. I am getting ready for a trip. I will travel across the entire country twice and across half of the country twice as well. There is lots of travel in my future, and I love that, but it brings some additional tasks and things to prepare that do not usually come up. My desk is littered with reminders and things to move into my various planners. I tried to do some work in my next planner yesterday. I wanted to decorate my personal planner and get started with the new year. I messed up every page that I tried to complete. After fixing some of the mistakes, I just gave up because nothing was working the way I wanted. At all. I was very frustrated with myself. Frustration is one of those emotions that can color your entire day. I experienced this over and ove...

Yesterday, when I woke up, my house was sitting at 80 degrees F. For someone who has hot flashes and asthma and heat related health issues, this is WAY too hot for sleeping. So, I did what I usually do, tinker a bit and then call for an HVAC specialist to come out and see what was going to happen. I had visions of AC replacement and the draining of my already strapped funds. My sister offered a loan from the Bank of Sister which helped a bit, but I hate having to get money from other people. Fortunately, I ended up just needing a tune up on my unit, so I ended up not having to pay anything! My bank account is breathing a sigh of relief right now. I spent some time talking to my HVAC technician, and I found out that he has a daughter on the spectrum who loves music and talking. We also talked about the knowledge that he has that I do not have about HVAC systems and repairs, and it got me thinking about a current project that I am working on - interpreting the AMTA Revised Competencies t...

 Gotta Gonna Go On a Trip Purpose : To develop concepts of life-long leisure planning; to reminisce about travel; to assess group members’ ability to sequence, plan, and act in logical manner; social interaction; geography awareness; travel; abstract thought development Source : Original Song. © 2009 by Mary Jane Landaker, MME, MT-BC Materials : Accompanying Instrument; pictures of objects people pack for a variety of trips (for example: keys, money, wallet, shoes, coats, others as appropriate for the types of trips to focus on. Some trips might be long vacations. Others may be errands to run around the town.); OPTIONAL: suitcase; actual items (rather than pictures); map or globe   Environment : Group members need to be able to hear and see the therapist   Song/Chant/Words : See sheet music attached. i                           ...