music, therapy, and me

Last weekend, I sat down and made a handmade journal. It has about 80 pages in it and is made of scrapbook paper. I put in a coptic stitch binding, and it looks pretty good to me. Now, it is time to decorate the thing.  This is the point where I struggle. I am not someone who likes lots of frou-frou and gee gaws in my journals, but others do. I decided to use a sticker set I got from Stickii called "cozy critters" as the basis of my color palette and theme for the journal. Many of the journals that I see on social media and other places are packed to the gills with flip outs, journal pages, tuck spots, hidden compartments, and pockets galore. There are stamped cards and stained papers and all sorts of things that I just find make my own journaling process more complicated, so I don't bother in my own books, but this seems to be what sells, and I want things to sell. I find that forcing these types of projects places me into a place of suspension. I just cannot move into t...

I took some time off from ripping music to my computer, but I am ready to get back and get going again. I brought one of my very large CD books down from upstairs just to see that it was the one I finished earlier. So, I am going to trudge back upstairs and get the others that I have to still go through. Three more huge cases and one smaller case to go - the smaller case has holiday music only, so it fits in the smaller case without difficulty. As I stroll through my CD purchases from long ago, I am constantly reminded that I really love all sorts of songs. It is difficult to name a favorite singer or group or song, but I do have my favorites. My music library is eclectic to say the least. Throat singers and monks through to rap and hip-hop artists. I have CDs from groups that made one and never were heard from again. I have recordings that are greatest hits compilations from artists that had long careers. The books of CDs that I have and continue to keep in my home even though there a...

I tried to write every day this week - just something on the screen - but I did not make it. Thursday and Friday were quiet over here - I woke up late, had too many things to do before work, and just didn't feel the writing muse taking over. I am going to strive to do better.  I have a couple of websites bookmarked that have random story line or journal prompts available to me. Today's prompt comes from a website that offers  journal prompts for those enjoying music , and my random number generator selected #33 as my prompt. Here goes... Imagine you are a music video director. What kind of video would you create for your favorite song? Egad. This is not my favorite type of thinking. I am not really a visual type of person. I don't dream much (except for nightmares), and I have never been able to successfully engage in a GIM session. As a result, music videos have never been something that I have enjoyed or thought about much. The second half of the prompt - my favorite song...

I have been resisting the siren call of streaming services lately. There are so many shows that I want to watch that are behind a subscription wall that makes it easy to think that I could just watch more television if I paid more money. I don't want to pay more money, so I resist the call to take out my credit card and sign up for them all! This morning, however, I decided that it was time to become a member of PBS.  This was partly a political decision and partly an impulse decision. I like many of the shows on the PBS app, and it is a way to support something that has been part of my life for all of it. So, I signed up as an annual member of my local station. I have never done this before, but I am looking forward to being a member. I believe in Sesame Street and Arthur and Donkey Hotie, and I like the idea of helping PBS continue, even if it is only a little bit. For now, though, I am going to download the PBS app onto my travel tablet and start watching things that are offered...

Here it is, Tuesday again, and I am sitting here wondering what I am going to write about. Tuesdays are reserved for therapeutic music experience (TME) development, so here goes. I am a good improviser, but I forget what I improvised pretty much as soon as I am finished with the improvisation process. I will think, "wow, this is really working. I need to remember this song," and as soon as I change to something else in the clinic, my mind refuses to remember the music - all of it! As a result, I have had to learn to release those clinical improvisations as music therapy moments that are fleeting and not meant to be captured. It always makes me a bit sad when I hit on something that is really working with my clients that I cannot replicate afterwards, but I still cannot remember... All of this is just a prelude to the topic for today - writing things down. I have been writing TME ideas down for my entire music therapy career - preprofessional learning mode as well as professio...

I am less of an early bird than I used to be. I used to spring out of bed at 3:45am, get my writing done, talk to the cat, and get to work early enough to have about 45 minutes of quiet in my music therapy room before interns arrived. I would stay an extra hour after my contracted hours were up to accommodate the needs of interns, so I was working 9-10 hour days every day. I no longer do that, but I am also not springing anywhere these days! I don't know if this is just a regular habit for aging, but I am always tired and am finding it difficult to release myself from the comfort of my bed. Perhaps I should make my bed less comfortable?? It may have something to do with the amount of medication that I am on right now, but this has been going on even when I am not on my allergy medication. For right now, I am going to close this post because it is a shower day, and I am running later than usual... Does this actually count as a blog post?? Not in my mind, but at least I did something...

I am someone who reads science fiction and has always been suspicious of artificial intelligences - HAL, Sonny, David, O.T.T.O., Pat from Smart House - they have always been a bit spooky for me. As a result of my healthy reading and movie watching habits, I do not like the ways that AI is taking over some of the basic things that I love. Even as I write, there is a little icon suggesting that I use a tool to generate my ideas and blog posts. I just don't like it. I was recently encouraged to start using a common tool to help me figure out some of what I want to do with the rest of my life. When I first tried it out, the tool told me to "come back when you have answered these questions." Ugh. I was using the tool to generate the questions. I tried it again yesterday. This round was a bit better, but I still felt the creepiness overtaking me as I was using it. It finally gave me a printable product, so I printed things out and then moved on. I am not going to go back for a ...

It is October, and the fields are being harvested around my home and workplace right now. Since the dusty crops are being chopped and transported, I am showing my signs and symptoms of my typical respiratory issues for this year. I can't breathe smoothly, and my nose drips out of nowhere. I am exhausted, and I am not sleeping through the night anymore. All of this is affecting my mental well-being as well. The exhaustion leads me to being snappish and negative in my views. I am less creative when I am not feeling well. I am guessing that there are so many things happening in the world that are getting through my insulation that I am manifesting these things in my mind and my body. It is strange, but I have not had the energy to write or even think for some time now. Part of this is compounded by the fact that I have recently received two rejections of ideas, and that has bruised my ego a bit. I am feeling irrelevant, silenced, and hurt. All of these things are part of how I am work...