music, therapy, and me

I have one more day before my family descends upon me from both coasts, and I am in panic mode at the moment. My house will never be as minimalistic as I want it to be. Never. It is a disappointment that things aren't going to be as organized and polished as I want them to be, but that is not who I am. I am not polished or fancy. I was watching a tv show called High Potential  the other day, and the main character mentioned several organization types based on insects.  Apparently this is based on the ideas of  Cas Aarssen  and the ClutterBug philosophy. This is an interesting way to think about my biggest challenge here at home - organization.  I thought that I am a butterfly organizer, but the quiz I just took told me I am a bee when it comes to organizing. I can see it when I read through more information.  I want to be tidy and organized, but I do not do that well. This clean-up process has lasted way too long, and I want to better than I am at the momen...

I have one more day with kids before the official end of the 2024-2025 school year. Today is the end-of-the-school-year bash, and I have been very cranky about it in the last 24 hours. Before I get to that, though - Graduation went well. We had our usual spinning clients and technological issues, but it went well. After that, the "specialists" at our school (AKA the ones running the aforementioned bash) got together to start putting things together for the event tomorrow. That's where my stress began. I am in charge of the photo booth at this bash thing. I have arranged for the props and have started the backdrop for said booth. We have two, large, inflatable doo-hickeys coming this morning to be set up. Now, in the past, we have had difficulties with said doo-hickeys. They are not able to be run on the same electric line because they blow the breakers. They are never the size we expect, and we often have to rearrange things (like photo booths) after the inflatables arriv...

My regular therapy year is now over. "That" client behaved wonderfully in music therapy yesterday, and today is graduation day at my school.  It is scheduled to storm, which is typical for graduation day, but we gave up on the idea of having an outdoor ceremony MANY years ago since it kept storming on graduation day.  Two principals ago, administration insisted that we go outside, but storms kept that from happening. The current administration is perfectly happy to have the ceremony inside which is more than fine with me. I cannot figure out how to run electrical lines across wet grass safely, and I don't really want to have to do so. That is neither here nor there since we have FINALLY come to a mutual understanding that outside is not the place for graduation. We will celebrate our students today. We have ten young adults who are either aging out of our services or are moving from children's services to transition services. Some will stay with us for the next severa...

It is the last regular day of the 24-25 school year, and I am ready to have two weeks away from work. All I have to do is get through a session with "that" client before I am finished with music therapy for a little bit. I don't want to dwell on that because it just makes me anxious and upset, so off I go into the world of music therapy. I have six days before my family members descend upon me to provide support for my medical procedure in eight days. The house looks a bit better, but not great yet. There is still lots of work to do. Sheets are washed and on the two beds for the mom and aunt. I bought new towels and pillows yesterday. I still have too much stuff around my home. That's always my problem. Too much stuff. For today, I have no idea what I am going to do with most of my groups. We did choice time for most groups last week, so I have to come up with something to do while planning for the next two days. We have graduation and an end of the year bash to set u...

I am a creature of habit. I like structure, I like routine, and I like it when things progress the way I have planned for. I do not do well with surprises or with changes at the last minute - ESPECIALLY when those changes did not have to be last minute at all! For example, I have been told by people moving into my office space that I have to give up that office space, but my supervisor has not told me of this development at all. This is not how I like to operate. One email would confirm that I am moving from that space and consolidating into my other space, but no. That doesn't seem to happen all that often. It amazes me how little people think about the ripples that spread when they make decisions, and it also amazes me that we do not take the time to talk to the people that are caught up in those ripples. I am often stuck in the riptide caused by other people, and I often do not know why I am swirling around. Today, though, I have to put that aside and work on my home environment...

I am happy that it is finally Friday. This has been a week in the music therapy room, and I think I am getting to some solutions for "that" student who I do not have to see until Monday and then not for two weeks after that. Knowing that I have some things to try is a good feeling. I spent this morning stressing about making sure to get the payment for the gardener on the back window - thinking it was Saturday instead of Friday. I was disappointed when I realized it was Friday. That's nothing new, but it disappoints me every time. Today is my preparation day. I have decided that I will be working on my treasure hunt today while moving things from one storage room to my office space. I have to give that up - of course, my supervisor has not told me this yet - despite many different opportunities to do so - but it is better to move my own things than it is to find that someone else has done it. They never put things where I want them to go. Yesterday, I put things away in m...

Forgive me if I am repeating the same things over and over, but "that" client is starting to display patterns that I am going to use for developing therapeutic interactions. Basically, "that" client wants me to sing and play my guitar and nothing else. The problem with that?? Every other client in the room wants to play instruments and listen to music recordings! One client hits me when I am singing songs that are not preferred but does not tell me that - just hits me. We had a good session yesterday. For nineteen minutes. At the 19 minute mark, I turned on some music. As soon as I put my guitar down, "that" client started to escalate. Please note that nothing was being played at the moment. It wasn't the song, it was putting the guitar down that was the antecedent to the severe behavior of concern that occurred. Noted. The problem? "That" client is not the only client in the group therapy session. I cannot deny the other clients the opportun...

It is Wednesday, and I have to face "that" client again. You know the one. The one client that challenges me more than anyone else at the moment. The one who resists every single interaction. The one who would rather not do what others want to do. The one who disrupts the therapeutic process so much that no one in the group gets any benefit from being present. The one who is not able to respond to group therapy due to the extreme behaviors of concern that have become routine. I did some data review yesterday on "that" client. My location is not the only place these behaviors of concern occur. That was good to see, but we have had four significant incidents in the past month that have disrupted instructional time to the point of affecting two classes rather than just one. I am dreading the next two sessions with "that" client because it affects more than just me and "that" client. I do not feel like I can do the job that I want to do when I am hav...

I am exhausted, and this is the "it is almost the end of the school year, but not yet" type of exhaustion, not the "haven't been sleeping well" type. Most of this is due to one client at the moment. Everyone else seems to be doing what they usually do, but that one client... I have been doing this particular job for a very long time, and clients come and go at my facility on a regular basis. I have experienced many different types of people in my years at my job. The client type that I have the most difficulty engaging with is the type that feels that they have control over what everyone does around them. A peer cannot choose what to do because the client doesn't want to choose something. Now, I have nothing against someone deciding that they do not want to do something during my sessions. I champion personal choice in my sessions for my clients. If a client opts not to engage, that is fine with me as long as they are safe and say "no, thank you." ...

Walter - just because I love him!! Well, that was a rough week - I had food poisoning last Sunday after eating something I made on both Saturday and Sunday - only got food poisoning on Sunday for some reason. I did not go to work on Monday - it is hard to sing when nauseous - I slept instead. Last week went slowly and culminated with my second-to-last Talent Show. Nothing happened at the show, thank all things good and wholesome, and now we are on the downward slope to next week when all the end of the school year stuff happens. This week has a field trip for one group of students this morning. As far as I know, there is nothing else happening. Next week is a different story. We have graduation and then the end of the school carnival. After that, we will be done for a week before coming back and doing things all over again. Since I work in a psychiatric residential treatment facility school, my students are in school year round. That means that I am working year round. I really don...

It is time to get cracking on a new project. Of course, I want to, because there is so much to be done in other areas of my life, so why not start a new project in the middle of it all?? It is time. Today is my prep day at work, so I have some time to work on things that will work for other music therapists as well as for me. I am going to spend time working on gathering ideas for a new book. Collecting ideas and making new things is something that I really enjoy. I go through periods of time where I just cannot come up with something new, but then things start to gurgle again. Things are starting to percolate. So, that's it for today. Thanks to someone who asked for an idea and posted it in one of my groups. I need to find my TME jumpdrive. It is missing right now. I am not sure what I will do to replicate it if it is gone forever. It isn't, it is just someplace else. Time to get going though. 

My anticipation meter is a bit off this week. No one has actually done what I have expected them to do in music therapy sessions. My first two sessions on Monday were horrible - assists, screaming, arguments. It was stressful and led me to spend most of the rest of the week thinking about how much trauma the staff at my facility go through without acknowledgement or mediation. I am someone who releases my emotions well other than through crying. I cry quite a bit in my car. There is something really surreal about having to go through a session where everyone is screaming, trying to engage them in something musical, and then having to turn around immediately to do it all over again. I am sitting there, playing my guitar, while my fingers are shaking from my adrenaline release. It is part of what I do, but I am tired and am ready to move on.  Fourteen months to go. At this time next year, I hope that we will know who the next music therapist will be. I will have taken most of my thin...