Fighting My Way Back To Health and Well-Being

It is October, and the fields are being harvested around my home and workplace right now. Since the dusty crops are being chopped and transported, I am showing my signs and symptoms of my typical respiratory issues for this year. I can't breathe smoothly, and my nose drips out of nowhere. I am exhausted, and I am not sleeping through the night anymore.

All of this is affecting my mental well-being as well. The exhaustion leads me to being snappish and negative in my views. I am less creative when I am not feeling well. I am guessing that there are so many things happening in the world that are getting through my insulation that I am manifesting these things in my mind and my body. It is strange, but I have not had the energy to write or even think for some time now.

Part of this is compounded by the fact that I have recently received two rejections of ideas, and that has bruised my ego a bit. I am feeling irrelevant, silenced, and hurt. All of these things are part of how I am working these days. It's not what I want for myself, so I am figuring out how to get back to the place I want to be.

Here's what is going well...

Other than my respiratory issues, my health is pretty stable. I had a bad week a bit ago with my back pain escalating, but I was able to work through it. That seems to have resolved at this point. I have occasional issues with my digestion but nothing more than what I dealt with before having another foot of my large intestine removed. 

I am starting to find my creativity coming to me in my music. I am improvising good songs with my clients that reinforce the behavioral markers that they are displaying to me. I am feeling responsive to what they are showing me in our time together.

I am reading again. I have a pile of books to read, and I am plowing through them as time permits.

My mom and my sister seem to be healthy and happy as well.

Other than a difficulty with the dishwasher, my home is pretty stable. The yard is not growing as much as it had been, so the costs for lawn maintenance will be going away pretty soon.

I have discovered that I enjoy watching Korean television.

I am going to be figuring out things to do that help me express myself.

I am going to try my best to get going on things again. I will try to write tomorrow and the day after that. Thanks for being here.

-mj

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