Being an Internship Director: On Hiatus

It has been two weeks since I offered a position to an applicant with no response. The applicant has two more weeks to accept the offer, but I am not sure that the applicant even received the offer. I guess I will resend the offer letter - just in case.

I hate the waiting times that are involved in this set-up of ours. I have to wait until the applicant answers. Then, I have to wait for the internship agreement from the university program. Then, (and this is the hardest type of waiting that there is) I have to wait until the student intern actually starts!

I am very thankful that I do not have an intern right now. The temperature in my music therapy room is very hot right now, and there is no fix in sight. My mother and my sister are very angry about this fact and keep telling me things to do that are not really feasible. I am tired of being hot. It really saps my energy and my attitude is not a happy one. I know that my seasonal affective disorder is worse in the summer than in the winter, but this is seriously reinforced when the indoor temperature is over 80 degrees.

The music therapy storage areas are a mess. I have just been moving things to the closet doorway and not taking the time to put them away. That room is a mess. My office space is a bit less messy, but my desk is a bit out of control. That is pretty typical when I am by myself. I do much better when I have interns around. Since I am not sharing space right now, it doesn't matter as much that things go back where they belong. I am less likely to be careless when I am sharing my space with another music therapist. I expect my interns to put things back where they found them, so I try my best to model that behavior. It doesn't matter to anyone but me when I am alone.

I am not looking forward to my hot music therapy room today. I have a brief idea about what I want to share with my students - Peter and the Wolf - but no real idea about how it will happen. I also have to figure out what I will do if I do not have access to my google account due to the heat. I have suggested music therapy on a cart, but I need time to organize, strategize, and arrange that type of session. Time that I have not been given so far.

The temperature in the music therapy room is my first bone of contention. The second is the cancellation of the Spotify account. It is difficult to run a music therapy session with adolescents when the music is interrupted by advertisements for things that are not selected by me. AND! There are five ads in a row. It is really annoying to me that this situation happened. I also cannot control what music happens - it is all on shuffle. I get quite annoyed with the free account, and it is exacerbated by my frustration with the temperature.

Interns from past summers have been frustrated with the temperatures in the music therapy room. This has been a common conversation with interns at all times of the years, but especially during the summer. I get frustrated by the constant questions with an accusatory tone. I probably add the accusatory tone in my own brain, and I definitely take it as such. I am doing that right now when people walk in and complain about how hot it is. I am taking those comments as directed at me personally. My rational brain tells me that those comments are not mine to take personally, but my emotional brain (which is the brain that takes over when I am uncomfortable and upset about things) interprets them as criticism of me and everything that I do.

It is time to get myself into my music therapy room. I need to start planning and keep organizing for the rest of this week - both here at home and at work as well. I have company coming at the end of the week, so I need to clean when I get home. I have to wash the sheets and bedding for all three beds and then dry them with sensitive skin fabric softener to help my sister's skin adapt to the different climate. For now, it is time to change the washer load into the dryer and fold the freshly cleaned (and sensitive skin protected) towels that are in the washer right now. After that happens, I will head down to work and do the music therapy things in the heat before heading back here to the cool where I have to continue to clean and clear things at home...

I am already exhausted.                                                                                                                                                

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