Saturday: Establishing Boundaries and Sticking To Them

I am a pushover. I do not like confrontations, so I tend to do things that accommodate what others need over what I want to do or need to do. This can be a problem in times like the holiday season where everyone is wanting things and people seem to be more self-centered than usual. So, I set some boundaries and try my best to stick to them.

I was called by the plastic surgeon yesterday to set up an appointment for a consultation about my finger. I am not sure why a plastic surgeon is calling, but when I called back, the scheduling person told me they had one appointment available - next Wednesday - at 1:15 pm - right in the middle of my Holiday Sing. I told them I was not available because I am not available at that time. The next available appointment (that was only 40 miles from my home rather than 50 miles in city traffic away from my home) is on January 24th. So, I have to go through another 5 weeks in my splint before I can even get a consultation.

This frustrated me more than I could handle, so I was sitting in my office, crying, as my intern was getting lunch. I couldn't believe that I was going to have to drive through city traffic over 50 miles away for possible surgery. Then, I remembered the boundaries that my Dad helped me establish the last time this happened in a worker's compensation situation in 2015.

I have the right to have treatment close to home. So, I started that process when I got to my house yesterday afternoon. Of course, folks don't work late in the afternoon on Fridays at the insurance company that my school district works with for worker's compensation issues, so I will not be called until later, but I know that there is a qualified hand surgeon in my town only 7 miles away from my home. If I do end up having to have surgery, then I want it to happen close to home rather than in another state, 50 miles away. So, I will stick to my boundaries here.

The church where I work is having a caroling party this afternoon. I am going because they switched the dates from Sunday afternoon to Saturday, and Saturday is my only day off. I am sure that there will be comments tomorrow, but I have had to stick with this boundary. The folks that I work for at the church have a bit of a skewed glimpse of my life, and they often act like I have to do whatever they tell me to do at a moment's notification and notice. The job does not pay enough for them to have total command over what I do when. We seem to be having some difficulty with the realization that the meager salary that I am paid, which has not been adjusted in 10 years, means that I will not be doing more than my job. (I am currently a bit cranky about some things happening in the Sunday School "team" at the moment.)

I am finding that my boundaries often make others annoyed, but they help me with my mental status and my survival during difficult times like the holidays. I am not handling the holiday stress really well right now. I had a nightmare this morning, and things are frustrating with my hand situation, so I am having to spend more and more time defending my boundaries. I am finding that it is easier to hold my ground as I am getting older and older.

So, today is reserved for me. I have eight days until I head away from this place to the place I love more than any other place in the world. I am needing to do my laundry and start my packing process. I finished the book I was working on - the "things I love" book, and I am looking forward to starting some of the pages in said book. I let people know where the caroling books are stored, so I have fulfilled my obligations to the church folks. I can enjoy the day with whatever it holds. I think there may be a nap in my future because I have a raging headache. See you tomorrow?