Changing My Outlook...Again

Egad.

I am currently a bit overwhelmed and engaged in a slight anxiety episode about all the things happening in my world right now, and the post that I started today was not helping me out, so I am back, writing run-on sentences and manifesting my anxiety through writing.

Deep breath.

I notified my rental company that I am intending on leaving at the end of next month. I am not sure why this is causing me so much anxiety, but it really is. Everything is going like clockwork, and that is scaring me. At the same time, I am very excited and cannot wait to be moving into my very own home.

Then, I look around at all the stuff that I have to pack up and actually move. I am going to pay for the moving part of things, but I need to pack as much as I can before the professionals arrive to move me. If things go as planned, I will have four days to move some things over to the house before the movers move me, so I should be able to get things packed up or toted over if I cannot pack them - like my conga drum and guitars and all my instruments. After the move, I will have six days to clean up the apartment and then check out of this place that I have lived for so long.

Thirty days until the movers arrive.

The hallway books and bedroom books are almost packed up. The movies are entirely packed up. I have started on sorting the textbooks and will work on instruments this week. I intend on taking more things to work to keep there until after I move, and I am considering renting a storage space to move things into as I box them up. There are lots of moving parts that I have to coordinate at the moment, and I am not able to keep up. So, I put my head down and work on each thing as I can.

This morning, I am heading to Walmart to get some broad-tipped Sharpies and bubble wrap. The bubble wrap is for home, and the Sharpies are for work first (I have to make some signs for the Halloween celebration this week) and then will be heading home for labeling purposes.

You know, writing this post is alleviating some of my anxiety. I knew that deleting the last version was the right thing to do. Of course, as I am writing these sentences, I am starting to get my anxiety signs again - flushed skin, difficulty concentrating. These symptoms are also indicative of perimenopause, so who knows what is happening - it's kinda a chicken and egg type of thing.

Anyway, I am going to focus on getting my signs made for work and putting some of the things that I have in my office in locations that are better than where they are right now. For example, I have a drum set in pieces that is sitting in between me and the bookshelves that I want to use. I want to be able to bring my mini fridge into the office but can't move it yet because I do not have enough space to move the boxes stacked in front of it quite yet. That has to happen before the fridge can be moved. I also need to buy a dolly so I can preserve my back a bit more than I have in past moves.

I am gaining wisdom in my old age. I think...

Okay - today's plan is to go for Sharpies and bubble wrap, finish up the signs, and then come home to call moving companies about their quotes. Both of the companies that I reached out to are available on my preferred day, so I should be able to move in when I am planning to! 

There. Things that I can do and check off when they are finished! Perhaps that is what I need to do - check things off! Ooh, dizzy spell now - more anxiety? Or more perimenopause? Either way, it signals that it is time to just move forward with my day! 

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