Start of the Ending

Here we go.

It is the first day of the second semester of the 2025-2026 school year - AKA, my last semester as a school-based therapist (as far as I know right now). I have five groups today - none of which are the same as the groups that I had on Tuesdays just two weeks ago. I have a vague idea of what I want to do with them (I have to laminate some resources that one student in particular will wrinkle immediately), but nothing is set in stone.

I was anything but efficient yesterday. I did put some stuff into my car, but it is still sitting there, waiting for my attention. I received my Christmas boxes yesterday, so all of that stuff is scattered around my living room where I am currently storing the stuff I am bringing home from work, so things are getting to my overload state. Once I am finished with this post, I am heading upstairs to take a shower, get some water, and try my best to figure out what I am going to do with almost all of my students this week. I know what I am doing next week, but this shorter week is a conundrum to me. I especially do not like when we have Mondays away from the music therapy room. It is easier when we have Fridays off. but we have no more Fridays except for the one right before Spring Break in two and a half months from now.

This is a strange feeling - being faced with the end of a job. I have done this before, left a job for something new, but this time I feel very tired. I want to make a go of this particular situation, but leaping into the unknown is something nerve-wracking. As I say that, though, my rational and emotional minds are screaming in the back of my head - "It is time to go!" I agree with those minds and the screams, but the unfamiliar is just that - unfamiliar.

***I am going to apologize now for the content over the next six months. I am going to be processing all the feels that come with leaving a job for something else. I hope that you will still read this blog over the next 180 (or some total close to that point - I'm not counting!) and that it will help you when you come to this place in your life.*** 

Now, when I retire, I will not be retired. I have to continue to work because I will be too young to qualify for Social Security and my current salary will go down due to the pension rules in my state. I know I will not be able to afford to go to California with the pension that I have without another full-time job, but we will see what happens. I really want to go to California. I miss that state - the climate, the people, the politics. I don't miss the gasoline prices or the homelessness or the constant shopping that would happen if I was in CA. Anyway, all that to say that I will have to continue to work somewhere (preferably some place with good health insurance benefits).

This is one of the reasons that I am working on my small business. At some point, I would like to make money with that business, but I am not sure that it will happen. I am investigating the national health insurance market and will be looking at that more closely in May and June. There are so many things to do before now and then. 

I got the early retirement notification email yesterday, so I will be sending the district my retirement notice on January 15th to get an additional payment from the district which will increase the pension amount, blah, blah, blah. My principal is worried that it will be difficult to find a music therapist - I don't think it will. This is a therapist-heavy part of the country. Will they find someone who will stay for 30 years? Probably not, but that is just the nature of the employment world these days. Anyway, that is not my problem. I am retiring.

Off to focus on the students who will come to my music therapy room today. Who knows what we will be doing?? Certainly not me!

Happy Tuesday.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Going on a Squeegee Hunt

One of the songs that I sang over and over and over again as a song leader in Girl Scouts was "Going on a Squeegee Hunt ." Now, you may be wondering what a "squeegee" is - good question! It is an imaginary creature that was probably invented by some obscure girl scout in Southern California many, MANY years ago! Anyway, similar to the traditional children's song of " Going on a Lion/Bear/Tiger Hunt ," the song takes you through a sequential process over, under, around, and through various obstacles towards a goal. Today, as I am sitting here writing, I am thinking about the poor squeegee being hunted. It is just in its cave, trying to do its squeegee things without interruption, when suddenly, BOOM! Some Girl Scout arrives to poke it! The poor squeegee does what it can - it jumps up and chases the Girl Scout all the way home!! This has not been a good work week. It is amazing how people will make mountains out of molehills. Here is the deal. I se...
Read more

Songwriting Sunday: Client Goals First and Foremost

Image
When I am writing music, I tend to do one of two things. I either start with a specific client in mind and write for that client's goals and objectives, or I start with an idea and let the idea grow regardless of the clients that I am serving at the time. I spend time with lots of hypothetical clients - thinking about the vast number of clients and their unique goals as I develop songs and therapeutic music experiences (TMEs). Today, though, I would like to start with the first focus - that of a specific client and his or her or their goals. Currently, I am sharing a wall with a class of students who are experiencing lots of life and school changes. Two students have transferred from residential care to home care and are now day students. One student is brand new to the classroom. Another student recently left the class. All of these changes have shifted the dynamics in the classroom group, and old behaviors of concern have reemerged as well as finding new behaviors to contribute. ...
Read more

Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea...
Read more