Wah, Wah, Waaaaah!

It is Wednesday, a full moon day, and I am somewhat inclined to whine right now. So, let's get this over with.

I have six sessions today. One of those sessions has "that client" in it, and I do not want to do that session. I am tired and am having some knee pain in addition to the worry that slides into my brain at strange times. I woke up extra early today after a couple of strange dreams that I actually remembered - one was about a former boss of mine and the other was about driving into a body of flooded water and sinking in my little car. It is strange what comes into your brain at various times. My head hurts, and I am hungry - on my way to being hangry...

I think I am finished whining - at least for the moment.

I reserve the right to return to my whiny self at any moment.

I have six sessions today. This is one of two schedule changes that occur during our extended school year. I have some difficulty with changing my established routine, but it is something that has to happen, so I put up with it. It means less time for preparation for the next sessions happening as well as more concentration of my energy. I have four groups back to back this morning. I am already tired, so the idea of just staying home is attractive, but I know the motivation behind it, so I will fight the feeling.

I have only been back to work for two days, and I am already wishing I could take a day off. Sign of burnout?? Sign of compassion fatigue?? You bet! Much I can do about it? Not really - not right now, except acknowledge the feelings and signs and then move through them. These feelings are compounded by the rising temperatures and heat surrounding us all. I am not good during humid and hot situations, and we are entering that weather pattern right now. In addition, my room temperature varies wildly so I never know if I am going to be entering equator temperatures or arctic climes when I get to work. The other thing that is complicating my work relationship right now is having to share the space again. I no longer have the room to myself. We have new classroom configurations and lots of new staff members who really don't understand the things that I am doing during music therapy sessions and who just make things worse!

Wah, wah, waaaaah!

It is okay to be feeling what I am feeling. It is okay to keep going, even when the feelings are difficult to navigate. It is crucial to recognize what is happening and to work through various situations to maintain a bit of professional demeanor and acumen. 

My pattern of dealing with my feelings and summer situations includes lots of time sleeping and being in front of a fan or two. I usually move to the cooler climes of the basement, but I still have some medical issues to work out that require me to be upstairs rather than moving up and down the stairs. So, I am upstairs, in the sunny bedroom, and in the warmer part of my house. I still have the fan going, but things are more humid than they would be if I headed downstairs for a bit. I don't want to keep moving up and down, so I will remain upstairs for the near future.

I spend lots of time reading during the summer. Since I have Fridays off from work, I can get to the downtown library more frequently than I can during the school year. My library has a summer reading program for adults (I have already "won" the challenge of reading 10 books), so I have incentive to try reading new books. I just finished one about a dragon living in the Louisiana bayou - it was interesting. I have two more to read in my library bag. I am very thankful that I decided to get back into a library routine last summer - it was very helpful with my emotional patterns during the hotter months last year. I anticipate it will be helpful this summer as well.

My life at this moment is a bit more complicated than it was last summer. I have more appointments, financial considerations, future thoughts and complications than I have had since 2019, but I am still moving forward. I am looking forward to going through this last year at my current job. I am also anticipating new challenges happening in this year. I want to make it through with strength and courage as I work through everything that is going to happen.

First step, getting out of bed this morning and taking a shower. After that, baby stepping to the door, to the car, driving to work, and getting ready for my day of sessions... even the one with "that client."

Give yourself some time to whine. After that, make plans and keep doing what is best for you. That might lead you into something completely different, or it might just give you the strength that you need to keep going your way...

One more whine - Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

There you go.

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