Not Off to the Best Start

Well.

My intentions to write everyday is already threatened by my summer way of doing things. I did not get up until later than usual and am sitting upstairs 9 minutes before I usually leave for work trying to make my brain work. I am struggling to do anything that makes any sense at all, and I have run out of all my sick time for this year, so I will have to get to work.

I don't want to go. 

"That client" is coming in today, and I am just tired of having to do therapy over screaming and tantrums. I am overwhelmed by "that client" and the response to ANYTHING I try - it is always the same - screaming, tantrum, safety assist. I am starting to dread any day where "that client" is scheduled for music therapy. Someone outside of my program suggested that I should do MORE, individualized music therapy for "that client." I flatly refused. I am not going to set myself up for significant injury by taking someone who hates music therapy for more music therapy. It's a mess.

Does anyone else feel like they are tilting at windmills when it comes to doing music therapy for specific clients?

I still don't want to go, and I have one more minute before my usual departure time. This will be a late day, for sure!

I feel overmedicated this morning. I took my regular meds at the regular time, but I just can't seem to pull out of the snowed under feeling. This is part of how I seem to function in the summertime. The humidity makes it difficult for me to breathe which then affects everything else about me including how I sleep and wake up. I am tired and slow to react to things.

Two more weeks until our next break, my surgery, and then an additional week for recuperation. After that, there will be two more weeks of the summer schedule before a week and a half before the start of the regular school schedule. I will be able to get through two more weeks of school during this round. I am sure of it, but I might not be very happy about it all.

We are going to play games this week. We start with my Disney character plates - we toss onto the plates, flip the plates over, and see what game we selected. We play the game and then start again once the game is over. I select games that the group can play without me for those times when I am gone (like the first week of July's summer session). They never remember, but I am making a resource for our behavioral health technicians to use during that time. It will be interesting to see if anyone takes advantage of the materials that I provide in my absences. They often do not.

It is 11 minutes past my usual leaving time, and my time anxiety is rearing its ugly head. I have nothing to do at work this early, but I still feel the need to get there before my official start time, so I am going to do that now. See you tomorrow (I hope).