Being An Internship Supervisor: On Hiatus

I am feeling defeated.

I am sure that this is a part of my summertime blues, the fact that our extended school year schedule starts up again this morning after too little time away, and influenced by the fact that my only applicant from this past year turned out not to want to be an intern with me. All of those things are combining to make me just feel crabby and cranky and not all that excited about anything to do with my job.

Over the next 13 work days (or 18 calendar days, if you prefer to count that way - I do), I am planning to decide whether I keep my program open or close it down completely.

This is not a decision that I am going into lightly. I am grappling with this decision on several levels including personal and professional. At this point, the only thing that seems to be keeping me in the internship process is my professional guilt. I'm not sure that's enough to keep the program open.

I have one year and 357 days before my internship has to be closed down due to my planned exit from this job. That is five internship positions. Of the past five positions, I have only had one intern. So, is the work worth it for only one more potential intern in the next two years??

For that intern, though, it would be an opportunity that would not be available otherwise.

My decision making process is one that I have refined over the years to help me figure out a path and then move forward. I started, as I always do, with a pros and cons list. I have made several of these lists over the past seven months. There aren't many cons, except for that of closing yet another internship program.

My sister and my mother talked me through this decision last week as we were driving through Texas and Oklahoma. My sister seems to feel that my future plans will be relevant to this decision right now. My problem with that situation is that I do not really know what I want from my future other than not working a job that is so hard on my knees and back. Other than that, I am not sure what my future holds.

From a completely personal position, there are very little benefits available to me as an internship director. The amount of CMTEs that I earn as an ID is negligible in my recertification process. I do not get any financial compensation for being a supervisor - not from my job, not from AMTA, not from the universities. I spend money on supplies and gifts for my interns, so I end up spending money for every intern that I host at my facility. It is not financially sound to continue to spend my time and money.

On the other hand, I enjoy being a mentor, but what good is that if no one wants to work with me?

I am struggling with taking this personally - it isn't, but it feels personal. Eighteen days to decide if I keep the program open or if I close it completely. Eighteen days.

Comments welcome...

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