TME Tuesday: Taking Time to Try

If you have been reading this blog for a while now, you know that I am a music therapist who struggles with things off and on. These things are often personal, but there are professional struggles as well. Let's talk about one of those professional struggles that happens to me occasionally on this day.

I do not practice music.

It is rare for me to pick up an instrument and just play music these days. I spend lots of time playing my guitar and other instruments during my work week, so when I get home, I am not as likely to pick up an instrument and just play. That is going to change because I finally did something that I promised I would do back in 2020 when I broke two fingertips in a work situation - I have bought a new guitar for myself.

Now, before you get too excited, know that I bought this guitar from Amazon and have not played it yet. It arrives today, and I am looking forward to getting to know this instrument.

Tangent - Do you name your instruments? I don't, but I know many people who do name their guitars. I name lots of other things - my cars, my robot vacuum, dolls and stuffed animals, you name it, but I have never named my guitars. This is probably because I spend so much time with them that I struggle when something happens that makes them unplayable. If I named them, I would grieve them more than I already do.

This new guitar will be mine - not a work guitar, not something that I share with clients - my guitar for home to use to play and compose music. I have this desire to bring more music into my life, and this will help.

My music practices are varied. I tend to compose melodies with the keyboard and use the guitar for the accompaniment. My keyboard is one that I bought, refurbished, back in 1994. It was about $100.00, and that was a HUGE investment for me back then. It is still going strong, and I love having it nearby, but I don't often play it here at home. 

I got out of the habit of practicing and singing and playing instruments when I lived in my apartment. I still share a wall with my neighbor (duplex living), but my music room is far enough away from that wall that I should be able to play and sing at loud volumes without disturbing them too much. I don't hear much of their sounds, so I think I am pretty safe with making music during daylight hours.

Anyway, all of this is just to say that I am finding myself needing more music in my life. I haven't composed a new song in months. I don't make music for anything other than a job these days, and that is pretty sad. This is one of the things that I noticed about my life as a music therapist that has been a bit perplexing for me over my 30 years as a music therapist (that's right - 30 years!! I can hardly believe it myself!!). My relationship with music has changed from my years before being a music therapist to this new way of being a musician. I wonder if this happens to those who are professional performers as well - a need to have some silence after musicking all day.

I have plans for this guitar.

I want to make more YouTube videos for my clients and my music therapy channel for work. I walked in on a group who was using my channel during a time when I was gone, and they were singing along to some of my original songs that exist only on that channel. I realized that, while there are lots of things, I want to keep contributing to this resource for my clients. I mean, the last time I posted anything on that channel, my hair was short! It's halfway down my back right now. Time to get some new songs and ideas up there, especially since I have observed their response to what is already there!

I want to expand my repertoire. I am good at listening and figuring out chord progressions to songs that I hear - I can play by ear well, but I have some specific popular songs that I want to learn. That can be done best during my off-hours. I don't have many non-session hours at work, so practicing and learning new songs is not always easy during my 7-3:15 shift. I have to listen to songs to hear the stylistic characteristics, but I memorize music best when I can see it as well. So, I need sheet music (or fake book style music) and a recording to hear how original performers play their versions. After that, memorizing new music is pretty easy for me. I tend to have more difficulty with remembering the lyrics than I do with feeling the chord progressions.

I want to compose. It is a season for new music. I don't know why I am feeling this right now, but I am. It is time to write new songs. I am thinking of a series of songs about other-awareness and reasons why we have to do what we have to do while we are at school. This has been inspired by my next-door neighbors - a classroom of students who have lots of difficulty with relationships with others and who demonstrate their frustrations through screaming, throwing furniture, and kicking the door between our rooms on a regular basis. I have started some improvisations in this vein, and I want to formalize the music. That requires some time in composition mode with my composition and recording software - those are at home.

At the end of all of this, it comes down to taking time to make music - both just for myself and for my role in this profession for and with my clients. It is something that I will strive to do - spend some time singing, playing, composing, recording, and just plain old learning - in the next weeks. It may help my summer SAD to be engaged in an active music-making plan. We will see. The guitar arrives today, and I will start the process. I've got my ideas book ready to go!

Time to head out into the work world. I have an internship project to finalize this morning, then five groups and two individuals on this Tuesday. There won't be much time for my own music today, but I will make some time this evening - new guitar, after all!!

Happy Tuesday.