Bullies Are Everywhere

I was just informed of a situation where someone is acting like they are a precious gift to the world of music therapy and is bullying others to allow them to take over a process that is well-regarded and practiced in all parts of the music therapy world.

I am so tired of bullies.

When did it become a professional practice to send emails that demand changes in another person's way of working? When did it become okay to make veiled threats about never engaging in interaction again? When did the voice of a couple of people become more important than the voices of all? I know when I think it really started to be considered "okay," but that is a bit more political than I want to take this blog, so I will refrain from making any more statements about that thought.

I do not like bullies. I never have, and I hope that I never bullied anyone else into doing something that they did not want to do. I am sure that I did at one point, and I am deeply mortified and humbled by any sort of pain that I caused someone else. I do not think that anyone should be MADE to do something that they do not want to do.

I have been bullied at work. I put up with it a bit and then took the situation to the superintendent. The bully was fired about three months later, establishing that my reaction and experience was not "hysterical" but was accurate. I solved my issue at work through conflict resolution techniques and limiting my contact with the bully. The bully continued to attempt to coerce others into doing the bully's will and ended up violating policy and procedure to be fired from a teaching position in the middle of the year rather than allowing the bully to finish the contract year.

I have been bullied in music therapy interactions throughout my career. I have been told how to feel about people using music as a therapeutic tool in non-music therapy treatment. I have been told that I will believe what others believe in order to remain in specific organizations. I have left those organizations and will never go back due to the bullying that I have experienced. I have now been told that support for one of the causes that I love and dedicate significant time and resources to will be withdrawn because bullies did not get their way. Gee whiz. If acting like a bully worked, then the world would revolve around bullies - oh, wait...

So, now I am faced with a dilemma that really isn't a dilemma after all. Do I change the rules to accommodate someone who didn't benefit from the rules just so they can benefit? How does that demonstrate professional ethics? How does that allow for an unbiased review of materials? How does that make sense to these bullies? I guess it doesn't really matter as long as they get what they want. Who cares who else it affects? Well, I do, and I am tired of self-aggrandizing attitudes.

"Me. Me. Me. I am the only one who is important. Do what I say or I will hold my breath until I turn blue. Wah. Wah. Wah."

Okay, turn blue. Interesting that there was no difficulty with the process when you got the result that you wanted - but now, ALL OF A SUDDEN, you have issues with how decisions are made within an organization that you have no ties to - just because you were not happy with the results. Get over yourself.

Wow. This blog post turned into more than just a simple rant. I can feel my blood pressure rising. Time to change to writing to my mother and my sister, so see you soon! 

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