Thoughtful Thursday: I Guess I Look Sick

Yesterday, I woke up, took my time taking a nice, leisurely shower, and arrived at work at my usual time, 6:45 am (30 minutes before I'm supposed to be there). I did my notes, got some session elements arranged, and was sending out emails to my fellow staff members about the Holiday Sing, and then I looked down at the clock.

 I was late for an individual session.

 Crud! Being late is my first most frustrating situation, and missing a session is my second most frustrating situation. This made me feel both frustrations simultaneously. I set off for the classroom to apologize to the client for missing the session.

 As I was walking, I walked past the pop-up coffee shop that my clients and the vocational department run in the mornings and the afternoons. A client stopped me and said, "Mary Jane, do you feel nauseous?"

 That stopped me in my tracks. Honestly, I felt well-rested, happy, but a bit frustrated with myself for missing the session, but everything else that I was feeling was positive. I stated, "No, I feel great." She responded with, "You look like you are nauseous." I kinda chuckled and moved on.

 I arrived at the classroom of the student, apologized, and then sat down with all of the class members for calendar time. One of the other students reached out, touched my hand, looked deep into my eyes and said, "Tired?" I responded, "Nope." The student then patted my hand and said, "Sick." No question this time - just a statement.

 Huh. Maybe these folks haven't seen a happy, well-rested Mary Jane in a long time.

 I remained in the room for a bit of time, and then had to go back to the music therapy room for my sessions. As I was leaving the room, one of the staff members I work with fell into step with me. She looked at me and said, "Mary Jane? Are you okay?"

 I started to laugh as I explained that maybe I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was since everyone seemed to think that I was not well.

 For the record, it was a pretty good day. I had some frustrating moments, but they did not quash the happiness that I found both outside and inside myself. I actually felt pretty energized at the end of the day - that is unusual - and it was a good energy rather than a manic energy that happens sometimes. I went through a frustrating meeting, planned and implemented a worship service, and led choir practice before going home. I spoke to my father for a short period of time, and then I played a bit of a game before I chose to go to sleep.

 This morning, I am still feeling happy. I am still feeling like I got enough sleep and am feeling pretty good with myself. We'll see how many people think I look sick this morning.

 When these types of things happen, it makes me think deeply about what I am presenting to the world.

 For the moment, though, I am going to go about my life the way I usually do. One step at a time. One song at a time.

 Happy Thursday.

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