A Bad Night

I had a bad night last night. It started with a bite from a client - lovely big bruise blossoming on my left leg, continued with a snarky comment from a co-worker about a task I had to complete, and ended with little to no sleep and the start of a cold or allergy response (I think it's an allergy, but we'll see). In the middle of that was a disagreement with my father about insurance companies (I try to avoid any type of political discussion with my father because it ends up with me upset). I'm not sure if the disagreement was due to the fact that I'm not feeling well or if I'm not feeling well because of the disagreement (chicken and egg deal), but I am tired, I can't breathe, and I am ravenously hungry.

I am taking the day off.

I really shouldn't as I am almost out of time, but I don't think I can stay awake enough to drive the hour to work. I already have a group cancelled (they are going on a field trip, we found out late on Monday), and I already have sub plans ready for tomorrow (a planned day off). So, the groups for today will use the sub plans and the groups for tomorrow will also use the sub plans. Not the best arrangement, but the options open to me right now.

I don't have bad nights like this on a regular basis, but I have them enough to know that they affect me in my role as a therapist. It is difficult to keep my eyes open and get from one place to another in a safe manner. My responses to my clients are slow and the internal takes over the external.

I hate when my body takes over like this, but I know that it signals more than just a bad night. I will sleep, take some medication to help me breathe, and work on decreasing my obsession about things that my brain just can't let go of during the overnight hours. I will also make sure that I eat something that is good for me.

I'm going back to bed for a couple of hours before trying to get myself back into a routine. I am going to take the time now to help me later on. (But, I still feel guilty about needing this time.)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea...
Read more

Songwriting Sunday: Repetition

Image
One of the things that I find to be helpful with my client population (children, adolescents, and young adults with dual diagnoses) is repetition of phrases, lyrics, and music. As a result of 30+ years of working with this population in various iterations, I have found that my clients respond the most to songs with three repeated phrases to prime their responses with a different phrase to communicate the important part of the experience. DISCLAIMER: This is not a definite way to write music for clinical interactions. This is what seems to work well with my particular group of human beings. Don't go to your supervisors and tell them that I told you that this is the ONLY way to write music - It is NOT! You have to find what works for your clients and for their clinical goals. Since my clients respond well to this type of song, I tend to write songs in this format more than any other. What I have found is that my clients remember these songs more than the ones that I do in different f...
Read more

Being An Internship Director: On Hiatus

Image
It has been long enough since I have had an intern that I am seriously feeling like I have little to say on the subject. At the same time, I am currently writing Chapter 5 of my general internship handbook, so I am able to write about being an intern and what types of things to think about during this important time in our professional development. It is a strange place to be in, and it is one that is a bit challenging for me. Right now, I have had three vacant internship positions since the beginning of the calendar year. I will have a vacant position next month and that will be an entire year of rejected offers. In the past nine months, I have offered positions to three applicants who have declined. It is interesting how people complain that there aren't enough internship programs, but programs like mine are empty. I guess there aren't enough internship programs that pay large stipends (which mine cannot) out there. I get it. It is interesting to me how we have moved from an ...
Read more