Anxiety

I guess everyone feels anxious about some things. I admit that I get anxious when I have to send things into my academic advisor - not that she's mean, but I cannot seem to feel comfortable sending her my work. I don't know why. On the other hand, I know a woman who is so anxious about getting anything wrong that she ties herself up in knots throughout her sessions. This worries me.

I guess I have a pretty realistic viewpoint about myself as a therapist.

I am human.

Therefore, I am not going to be perfect. I will make mistakes. I will solve some issues and create others. There will be days when I am not able to sing or communicate with someone else. I also know that these failings are part of the human condition, and I embrace my humanity.

I have a very good friend who is a perfectionist. He stresses himself out with the thought that he MIGHT make a mistake that he cannot function in his job. He is an extraordinary organist and accompanist. His anxiety was taking over his life. He was compensating with alcohol and was unable to function appropriately. He finally started purposefully making one mistake during each performance - nothing serious, just a missed note or trill - and he was able to relax about the possibility of making mistakes. He knew he was going to make a mistake, so he was able to relax about the possibility of other mistakes.

Mistakes happen. There are times when I will not be therapeutic. There are times when the decisions I make will lead to inappropriate responses from my clients. There are times when I will try something new, and it will bomb! If I spend all of my time stressing about these situations, I will never get out of bed in the morning. So, I choose to be human, embrace my humanity, and wallow in my imperfections. There are so many.

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