Transition: Student to Professional - Thoughts on Being in an Internship Program

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Welcome to an occasional post theme. I've decided that I will reflect on being part of an internship program on this blog. I will do every little thing I can to ensure that my interns are protected while I still express some of my emotions and feelings about being part of this experience.

I am an internship director (ID). I have been doing this job since 1999, and I have trained many interns at my program. My internship has not ever been completely full (except for from 2007-2010 where I had three years of back-to-back interns), and I have had the luxury of only taking those interns who have interested me. Over the past three years, I have not been an active ID - space constrictions and recovery from an injury really took over my life - my program went inactive for a time, but now the internship program is back up and running, and I am finding my way back into being a supervisor.

It is amazing how much I've forgotten about being a supervisor, including the contagious enthusiasm of someone on the very end of education. I am working through the things that I need to remember, all the time, trying to support my current intern in growth opportunities and learning.

Today, we start the process of shifting therapeutic ownership of groups from me to the intern. My students don't really realize what the intern is going to do, so we do a slow takeover of the caseload. She will be leading an opening therapeutic music experience (TME) in each of her assigned groups this week. Next time we're together, she'll do the opening and an additional TME. After that, two TMEs and the opening and so on until she has full ownership of her group sessions. I'll keep taking steps back from therapeutic interaction until I am just the woman sitting by the wall, writing things (for some of the clients - others will know who I am). I'll be placed into my least favorite clinical role - that of observer - until towards the end of the intern's time with us.

I wonder if interns realize that, for me at least, sharing that therapeutic relationship is one of the most difficult things. See, I am a clinician because I enjoy doing music therapy with people. When I am sitting quietly, being an observer, every nerve in my body is yearning to be doing rather than watching. This is one of the reasons I will NEVER have two interns start at the same time again - too much time watching for my tastes! I have learned to squelch my need to be making music and being the therapist, but it has not been easy to do!

Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy watching my interns develop their own therapeutic styles, interactions, and relationships with our clients, but in the back of my head, I am always thinking of those clients as "my" clients. I always will - those kids are "my" kids, and I'll be the one who remains after the intern moves on. I stifle my need to be involved for the benefit of my intern and for my clients - they will be enriched by engaging in a therapeutic relationship with more than just one music therapist - I am convinced by that! So, I sacrifice my own impulses for the greater good.

Does this sound sanctimonious and self-sacrificing? In a way, it is. I'll own that. At the same time, though, it is something to think about as I continue in the role of ID for the interns in my program while they working with our clients.

I make an effort not to promise much to my interns - with the exception that there will always be chocolate available to them when and if they need it. I don't promise to get things back to them immediately or to always be in a good mood (you know me!). I will not get things right all the time, but I will admit when I am wrong and when I don't know something. I will try my best to support interns in the ways I think they need and in ways they think they need. I also strive to make each intern's experience something that challenges that intern - there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to internships (in my experience).

I ask my interns to do several things when they are in my internship - things that have been important over the years - communicate with me, especially their frustrations with me and how I do things (hard to do, but SO IMPORTANT), to accept that I am a human being who will make mistakes, to acknowledge that I am not perfect, to ask questions, and to make a attempt to learn every single thing that they can during their internship. Some have done that without hesitation, others have had more difficulty with the communication piece of the relationship.

Today, we start the clinical part of my current intern's time with us. I will hand over the guitar (that's the part that seems to worry my clients the most - "MJ, do you SEE that! She's TOUCHING the guitar! Oh no, now she's PLAYING THE GUITAR!!! MJ!!! MJ???") and she will start off three of the five groups for today. Once she has finished her opening TME, I will take leadership back and lead group members through other TMEs, but the shift will have started. The relationship will change.

It's time.

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