music, therapy, and me

Getting Kids to Giggle...

2012-02-16T06:01:00.000-06:00

There is nothing better for me than the moment when a kid starts to giggle in music therapy.

Last Wednesday, I was faced with a dilemma. There were 8 kids in the music room between the ages of 8-14 years, we had finished my entire plan for the day, and we still had 15 minutes left of music therapy. I was mentally flipping through my bag of tricks to see if I could find ANYTHING to keep these students occupied as they started to show signs of disengaging from me. Yikes!

Quickly I asked them to raise their hands in an attempt to reengage their attention to me and to musical elements. We did a quick stretch and then, BRAINSTORM!

I showed them how conductors control the music of their ensembles and then allowed them to direct me. One person was the conductor and another person chose the song for me to play. Once they figured out that I would start and stop on cue, the giggles started.

It was contagious.

The first student didn't know what was going to happen, so she started off hesitantly. She raised her hands, and I started to play. She stopped moving, and I stopped playing and singing. She eventually realized that she was the one controlling the music, and I had a control-freak on my hands.

We spent the rest of the session taking turns and sharing the power of conducting.

We also spent the rest of the time giggling.

The therapeutic music intervention offered here was not planned or complex. It was simple and yet it addressed many of the skills that my students need to learn. We engaged in a social interaction - between me and each student as leader-follower, between students as co-conspirators; we engaged in impulse control - how difficult it is to wait for someone else to give us permission to move and play; we worked on gross motor development; we addressed emotional expression; we developed our therapeutic relationship through musical interaction. Whew. There was a lot going on.

The most important thing to me, though, was the giggling.

Take some time to laugh with your clients.

Little Steps

2012-02-12T06:26:00.000-06:00

Recently I have discussed that I am trying to make some subtle changes in my life. I am trying to find things to throw away, donate to others, and repurpose in my life. I am trying to listen to new music everyday, and I am getting myself closer to some professional goals that I have had for a long time.

Yesterday I took a small step towards my goal of organization in my home.

I moved my DVDs and my DVD storage shelf (5 feet by 8 feet shelving that I made from 2X4s) from the front room to the back room. Does this sound like a lot of work? Not really. Now, remember that I am a pack rat and know that I LOVE movies, so trust me when I say that the task was pretty monumental. I moved seven shelves' worth of DVDs (81 DVDs each) from the front room to the back room. I then had to manipulate the shelving unit around the front room, the desk in the office, down the hallway, and into the back room. Then, I found another obstacle - the ceiling fan. I stopped to think the process through and eventually figured out how to maneuver myself and the shelf into place. I reloaded the shelves and, voila! I now have all of my movies in place.

Now, that is not all that I did yesterday, but that was the best thing that I did towards my personal goals all day.

How does this relate to music therapy? Good question.

I suppose a good therapist is always aware that there are things that need to be addressed and worked on. A good therapist understands that he/she is not perfect just like the clients that seek therapy are also not perfect. A good therapist also assists his or her clients in celebrating the small steps taken towards a goal and recognizes his or her own small steps towards goals. A good therapist is also not afraid to own his or her faults and imperfections.

A small step yesterday may lead to a bigger step today.

Obwisana

2012-02-11T12:25:00.000-06:00

This last week I spent much of my music therapy time engaged in a song called "Obwisana." This song was introduced to me by an intern, and I just rediscovered it in a book that I absolutely love called The Melody Book. The Melody Book was compiled by Patricia Hackett, and I happen to have found a copy of it that was published in 1983. It is prohibitively expensive ($118 marked down) on Amazon.com, but I found a VERY used copy on eBay several years ago and only spent $35 on my copy.

Anyway, I started to brainstorm ways to use the song with my students with developmental and psychiatric concerns. I made Obwisana my therapeutic music experience (also known as TME) of the week.

I often find one TME that I run with all of my groups during the week. I adapt or extend the TME to accommodate clients' levels of function, attention to task, or interests, but I use the TME in all 14 of my group sessions. This week it was time for Obwisana.

(By the way, you can find a copy of the TME plan as well as a link to a YouTube presentation on my website, www.musictherapyworks.com

Here is the complete link: http://www.musictherapyworks.com/therapeuticmusicexperie.html)

I started the week with my gathering drums and my first sensory-focused group. We sang the song and drummed together - something that is VERY difficult for us to do as a group. Other groups passed shaker eggs around the circle. Yet other groups played elimination games and became community beat keepers. It was amazing how my group members took the game idea and transformed it into something unique and amazing for themselves. Each session was a marvel for me as the "therapist" as I introduced the idea and then watched my clients make the experience their own.

By the end of 14 sessions, I had many different ways to use the same song.

Music Therapy Moment

2012-02-07T05:56:00.001-06:00

This music therapy moment brought to you courtesy of student "Z."

Yesterday my day started with a group of students from our "low-density, high staff" room. These students are mainly on the end of several spectra - autism spectrum, intellectual disability spectrum, behavior concern spectrum, etc. You name it, they function on the outsides of all spectra.

My music therapy philosophy with these students is to increase their interaction with both the music and with me as the music maker. We start each session with a short opening song, greeting each other appropriately, and then we move into an equally short therapeutic music experience (TME for short). We then take a musical walking break. After a time, we sit again and complete another TME. We follow that TME with another walking break and repeat until the session is over.

These students have been in this form of treatment since the beginning of December, and I have found that I have been able to address each of their individual needs better than when I was trying to treat each of them in different group therapy formats. There are, however, times when I realize that we all have so much to learn.

Yesterday, Z was sitting next to me. Now, he usually spends as much time away from me as possible, alternately staring and glaring at me from his place by the wall. He came in, all the spots were filled but the one next to me, and he responded well to my verbal and gestural prompt to sit. I sang the opening song and went into my first TME, group drumming to the song Obwisana. (This will be on my website by Sunday, February 12th - see www.musictherapyworks.com for the TME plan and information on how to find the song along with all of my uses for the song). It came time for our first walking period, and Z decided that he wanted my whistle box.

Now, I have a simple rule in the music room - you ask before you touch.

Z hasn't figured out that I expect him to ask for something before he touches it. He grabbed the box, I told him "no," and he grabbed my hair. I assume that he thought that I would give him what he wanted if he hurt me.

He was wrong.

Z was not allowed to use the box without asking. He was not allowed to continue to hurt me, and I kept reminding him that hurting people did not get him what he wanted at school. The problem is that I think he does get what he wants when he tries to hurt people at home - it is easier to live with him if you just give him anything he wants.

Anyway, I continued to redirect his hands and his "words" to ask for the whistle box. He didn't, so I kept the box to myself.

He calmed and completed the rest of the session without difficulty.

For me, the experience of yesterday's session reinforced several thoughts and practices. First, behavior management comes down to two things - negotiable behaviors and non-negotiable behaviors. Hair pulling is a non-negotiable. Using words of any kind is a non-negotiable behavior. Asking before you grab something is a non-negotiable behavior. Second, the challenges of working with people are what keep me in the profession of helping people. Third, I will DEFINITELY give Z a chance to use the whistle box during the next session as soon as he asks me appropriately!

This music therapy moment was brought to you by my student, Z.

Trying Something New

2012-02-05T14:39:00.000-06:00

Lately I have been feeling restless.

When these feelings sneak up on me, I have to stop and evaluate what is going on. Sometimes this means looking for another job, sometimes it is as simple as changing my hairstyle, and other times it means that I am frustrated with everything that goes on in my life. I am REALLY hoping that this can be solved pretty easily, but who knows.

Anyway, in order to try to shake up my feelings of restlessness, I am trying to do something new. Actually, I am trying to do several things in a new way.

BUSINESS: I am going to focus on my business plan in the next 3 months with the goal of accomplishing my dream of offering online continuing music therapy experiences to music therapists. At this time, I am hampered by a lack of funds to pay for the application fee, but I think I can swing it after 3 months of couponing and limited extra expenses. It is amazing how $250 is a huge cut in my entertainment budget, but in these financial times... you know the rest of that sad song.
PERSONAL: I started an art journal with my most current intern. I generally journal via this blog or in one of my many book journals, but I often journal sporadically in those formats. The art journal is my way of trying to keep a chronicle of happenings in a nontraditional format. The rules are simple - I open up to any page, put the date on it, and then go. I can draw, write, make word pictures, anything at all.
MUSICAL: I am archiving all of my music onto a large drive on my computer. It is amazing how much music I have collected in my 19 years of practice. I am challenging myself to listen to new music daily - most of it from my music library - to keep myself connected to musical expression from others and to inspire my own musical expression.

I am also focusing on changing my physical environment. As I have mentioned before, I am a pack rat, so I am challenging myself to clean up, throw away, and donate parts of my life to various places around me. Sigh - this one is very difficult for me, but I hope to persevere. There is a newly designed Star Wars bedroom in my near future. I just have to get there! (Yes, I am THAT much of a geek!!)

It is a good feeling to think about shaking up my existence here on planet earth. Off to try something new...

Creativity Surges

2012-01-28T06:41:00.000-06:00

This week has been a good week for my creativity. While I have been challenged to interact with co-workers, fellow volunteers in several different places, and have just been generally unimpressed with how people have been treating one another, this has also been a very creative week for me.

Do you ever have times when songs just come out of your every pore?

I do, and I love it when it happens.

I have always been interested in how we, as music therapists, develop the strategies and interventions that we use with our clients. I have presented on my own techniques for refreshing my creative juices. I have thought about how I progress through various decision trees for determining what I can do with a specific instrument or item that I have acquired. I enjoy finding multiple uses for something that is unusual. I am always pleasantly surprised when a client or an intern shows me another way to use an item that I thought I had found all possible uses for in the music therapy room.

I have admitted before that I am a pack rat. I like to have stuff around me. This is not always a good thing, but does offer me a wide variety of materials, instruments, visual aids, and items to incorporate into my music therapy interventions. Unfortunately, this also means that the limited space that I have in my music therapy clinic requires certain rules.

Can you see what I mean?? This is just ONE of my cabinets!

Rule #1 - The MOST important rule of them all - I can only keep something in my cabinet if I can think of 6 separate intervention ideas for the item. If I cannot, then it goes home.

Rule #2 - If I haven't used something for more than 6 months, it goes home.

Rule #3 - I try out visual aids before laminating them. If the visuals do not work, I throw them out rather than laminating them for multiple use. If they work well, I make new versions and then laminate them for use.

These rules have really helped me control the "stuff" in my music therapy storage area.

Yesterday I took my intern through a series of decision trees about how to see possibilities in every thing around her. She was encouraged to choose something from the cabinet that she was interested in. Her choice was a box full of small, squishy circles. I asked her what she thought she could do with these things, and she shrugged. At the end of our talk, she had brainstormed 11 different therapeutic uses for the circles and had started to design interventions using those circles. What a wonderful way to become refreshed...watching someone else start to think outside the box.

Thank you, anonymous intern, for allowing me to see your creativity and for sparking my own.

Specific Music for Specific People??

2012-01-23T05:10:00.000-06:00

A music therapy friend of mine recently asked for a list of songs that were good to use with kids with emotional and behavioral disorders. This request started me thinking about specific music for specific people.

I guess I don't really feel that there are specific songs for people with a specific diagnosis.

I like asking my clients to tell me the songs that they like to listen to. Often they are not able to tell me the names or words of songs. I then have to do some detective work, observing their responses and reactions to different kinds of music. I spend time timing their natural movements and patterns to see if they are consistent in their tempi. Often, I can find a tempo preference more easily than a musical preference.

What do you see out there in your clinical experiences??

Do you have specific songs that you use when a client arrives with a specific diagnosis? Do you approach each client as an individual? Do you prefer an entirely improvisatory approach?

Singing My Song

2012-01-21T06:46:00.002-06:00

This week, the American internet has been taken over by discussion about a couple of anti-piracy bills in front of the houses of Congress. As I understand these bills (I am not an expert by any means), the bills will require that internet service providers block any domains that are violating copyright privileges of persons or corporations. My interpretation is that if you offer a song or a video that is covered by copyright law on your website, the copyright owner can request that your domain be blocked.

This is an interesting concept that I like and dislike at the same time. I dislike it because I do not feel that Congress should be censoring the internet. I think it will be a costly and difficult situation. I like it as a composer and therapist.

Once upon a time, as a young professional, I attended a concurrent session at conference that was led by the person who worked at my internship right after I graduated. I was sitting there, watching her videotaped examples of things to do with preschoolers, when she started to sing a song that I had written during my internship. The students were enjoying the song and it was presented as I had composed it.

After the session, I was standing in line to speak to the presenter when I overheard someone say to her, "I really liked that Wake Up Body song. Who wrote it?" I then heard the presenter say, "Oh, I wrote that song during my internship."

I was shocked, dismayed, and hurt that someone would take something that belonged to someone else and pass it off as their own.

I also realized that I had done absolutely nothing to protect my property.

This was the beginning of my copyright insistence and need to source everything that I present in music therapy sessions.

When I write down any ideas for session experiences and interventions, I look for the author, composer, date of composition, performing artists, music therapists who taught me the song, and any other information that I can find. I want to make sure that I get credit for the songs and ideas that are my own. I also want to make sure that I never take away someone else's intellectual property like someone took mine from me.

Now, I have had times when a song that I composed became part of my interns' repertoire in a way that makes it seem like a "standard" in the literature. One of my interns was walking a client back to his classroom and started singing a melody that I thought I had composed. The words were a bit different, but the melody was exact. I panicked thinking that I had stolen someone's great melody. When the intern returned, I asked her where she had learned that melody. She looked at me with a funny expression and said, "From you, Mary Jane, you sing it all the time!"

I was relieved.

This year I am going to try to release some of my original songs on my website, www.musictherapyworks.com

If you go to the website, look for the tab titled, "Therapeutic Music Experiences" to find links to documents on TMEs that I have developed and tested with children and adolescents with developmental and psychiatric disorders. You may use them keeping the copyright information intact.

Please remember to respect the personal intellectual property of all that you meet - composers, authors, performers, and your fellow music therapists - we will appreciate getting credit for our own hard work.

Hopping off my soap box now.

January Inspirations

2012-01-15T07:10:00.001-06:00

This month has been a challenge. Hence my absence from the blogosphere for several weeks. I have been full of good intentions and have had fleeting thoughts about what to write, but have not been actually able to sit down and accomplish anything yet. This is the day that I break through that wall.

Our January has been unseasonably warm with only a little bit of snow and cold weather. Typically we use winter and snow as our themes for the interdisciplinary groups that I contribute to at work, but there really hasn't been much impetus to use our usual session plans.

So, we have had to develop new themes. On Friday, we had an ocean theme. We played games, a large version of Go Fish, and had an ocean drum relaxation experience at the end. Now, I was initially hesitant to lead relaxation experiences with my students - they do not usually relax easily - but it worked very well. I started by asking the students to find a comfortable place on the floor. They were ready to relax since we had spent 45 minutes running and playing games. I started my favorite relaxation CD, On A Starry Night, a collection of lullabies from around the world. I gave my fellow staff members ocean drums, and I used the ocean drum and went through a relaxation experience focusing on breath and watching the beads in the ocean drums. Kids were able to lie down, sit quietly, or sleep. They did very well and left the gym quietly. It was a good day.

My new year has also been ripe with creativity. I have been composing songs for my therapeutic experiences. The music has flowed. This happens to me occasionally - the songs do not have to be sought out, they find me. These creative spikes are wonderful. I enjoy them and take advantage of the flowing music as long as it lasts.

I also have a new intern. Of all the things that have inspired me during this month so far, the challenges and promise of a new intern is the most powerful. I spend lots of time evaluating myself by thinking about how I am appearing to my intern. I think that being a model for novice therapists is one of the most challenging and rewarding professional activities that I have ever been involved in.

What is inspiring you? Is there a specific song that helps you feel primed and ready to go? Is there a technique that you use with your clients that helps you to be a creative person as well as a therapist?

I am going to try to keep my inspiration going. Check out the website www.musictherapyworks.com for therapeutic music experiences designed for children and adolescents with developmental and psychiatric diagnoses.

Happy 2012!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T05:22:00.000-06:00

Today is Christmas Eve. I am a Christian, so I celebrate Christmas as the second most important day of my year.

I am also a therapist, so I not only appreciate the beliefs of others, but I fully support those beliefs as valuable and as important as the beliefs that I hold.

My clients have a variety of religious backgrounds and belief structures. In order to provide them with appropriate therapy in areas of spirituality, I have to understand their belief structure, respect those beliefs, and then work within those beliefs to reinforce the value of those beliefs for them.

I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Happy Solstice, and Happy New Year! Please know that I wish all of you health, happiness, and enough challenge to keep you moving through life.

Blessings to you all!

Professional Bullies

2011-12-23T05:48:00.001-06:00

It is amazing how some folks attempt to control others through intimidation and posturing behaviors. The "I'm better than you" attitude shines through in interactions and gets in the way of appropriate professional demeanor. I am currently involved in a situation where I am being harassed by a coworker. His entire form of communication with me is antagonistic, abrasive, and abusive. He yells, he makes inaccurate assumptions, and he tries to embarrass me in front of my clients and coworkers on a regular basis.

I have followed professional protocol by reporting these behaviors to my supervisor, and, when she didn't do anything, by filing a formal grievance with the school district. When we had our face-to-face meeting, he stated that he didn't want to fight because he was "there for the kids." Well, how nice.

We established some ground rules for professional interaction in the future. We established a code phrase to mean "back off" and leave. I am not holding out much hope that he will be able to follow those guidelines, but you better believe that I will be documenting all interactions for the next step in the grievance process.

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, all ages and attitudes, and happen throughout the life cycle. I think this guy feels threatened and overwhelmed and has decided to make me the focus of all things evil in his life.

I had an intern who did the same thing once. Even though all of the different aspects of her life were changing in ways that she could not control, her attitude was that I was making her miserable. It was my fault that she had to find a new apartment. It was my fault that she had to work to support herself. It was my fault that she was feeling overwhelmed by life. She was easier to deal with than this guy.

I am thinking lots about the bullies throughout my life these days. Sean and Eric, this post is for you!

Getting Ready for an Online Conference

2011-12-18T05:47:00.001-06:00

It is almost time for the second Online Conference for Music Therapy. For the record, I am on the Organizing Committee and am the treasurer for OCMT2012, so this post is brought to you by the fact that I am immersed in preparation for this conference.

If you have never heard of this conference, don't be surprised, but please do check us out on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/groups/ocmt2012/; on Twitter #OCMT2012; or at our website: http://onlineconferenceformusictherapy.com/about-us/

Now, for the interesting part of this conference.

It is all done through an internet link on your computer. If you have the ability to stream the internet, you are able to access this conference. If you have a webcam and microphone, you can present at this conference. It really is that simple.

It is also lots of fun.

Please plan on joining us on February 18, 2012 for the second Online Conference for Music Therapy!

See you there.

Historical Figures

2011-12-11T05:12:00.001-06:00

This last week I found myself in the unique situation of being 6 miles away from the sitting President of the United States. He made a speech in a small Kansas town just a short way away from my work. I was unable to go since I had to be at work and didn't have an entire weekend to stand in line for tickets, but this started me thinking about history.

The second event that occurred this week was the passing of Clive Robbins, music therapy historical figure. Dr. Robbins was an awe-inspiring figure in our profession, but he was also a quintessential therapist - gentle, concerned, and caring of others.

My most thrilling and personal interaction with Dr. Robbins occurred in San Diego, CA in 2009. I was standing in a dark corner of the gathering area presenting file folder experiences in the Clinical Practice Forum. There were lots of people walking around, unfortunately not music therapists but participants in a gymnastics competition - ugh.

So, there I was, standing next to my homemade display of information and projects, when Clive Robbins walks past, stops, and returns to look at my composition folders, my homemade games, and my stated objectives. He stopped and chatted with me for a time about the use of visuals and games to engage kids in music therapy treatment. He stated that he and his wife, Carol, had developed ideas similar to what I was presenting.

That 7 minutes of my life was so much more than just a conversation with a person.

Those 7 minutes provided me with a chance to meet a man who I revered.

Those 7 minutes made me feel like a peer.

Thank you, Dr. Robbins, for your influence on my profession, for your continued search for the music child in all of us, and for your caring for a fellow therapist. I will miss you.

Ouch

2011-12-08T08:51:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, I was knocked over by a student who was angry. I landed on my bottom hard, but didn't seem to be hurt other than just knocked around a bit. As the day progressed, however, my right Achilles tendon started to ache. I limped around the music room for the rest of the day and then limped to church and choir rehearsal.

When I got to my home and took off my shoe, I found a large bruise on my right ankle wrapping around to the back of my foot - there was a reason why my tendon was aching so much! I took today off from work to do the prescribed process - RICE - rest, ice, compression, and elevation - as well as some arthritis medication to help alleviate the pain of my fall.

This incident was a good reminder that I am not:

as young as I used to be,
listening to what my clients are trying to tell me as well as I could, and
able to do everything.

I fully believe that we are led to what we need to hear or realize when it is appropriate. I needed to remember that I have limitations, and my clients were able to remind me of those limitations very well this week.

There is a pattern of behavior in school settings in the period of October 31st through January 1st every year. Children escalate in mood, in energy, and in noncompliance. At the same time, teachers experiencing a decrease in energy, in time available to do things, and in patience. I, as a therapist, am often in the teacher camp at this time of year. I also have the additional stressors common to all musicians at holiday time - performances, celebrations of the season, gigs, programs, etc.

My students are good at reminding me that they need consistency and routine more at this time of year than at any other time.

Being knocked down by a VERY large 14 year old boy is a good reminder that I need to step away from the stressors and just focus on providing my students with music therapy sessions that assist them in dealing with the stresses of the season on their lives.

So, after I finish my physical healing from the very jarring reminder that I was not doing a good job at my job, I will head back to the music therapy room to focus on my clients and their needs.

Thanks, kid - but next time, could you just use your words??

Building a Therapeutic Relationship

2011-12-07T05:09:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, I had a breakthrough in not one but two sticky therapeutic relationships. Let me explain further...

I have an extremely large classroom group made up of students with a variety of diagnoses and levels of functioning. This is the classroom where the oldest kids with diagnoses on the autism spectrum have been placed. There has been lots of change in the classroom - new students, new staff members, new environment, and new academic expectations - all in the last 6 weeks.

Now, music therapy at the beginning of this change looked a lot like mass chaos. Imagine 12 large teenaged kids rocking, trying to walk in circles, yelling to gain attention, plus 4-6 staff members, 1 music therapist, assorted rhythm instruments and props in a room designed for approximately 10 people (maximum).

As the therapist, I found it very difficult to communicate with my clients - the familiar clients and the new clients. I couldn't get a chance to know my new folks because I had too many relationships going on in the session.

In my weekly talks with the Art therapist (something we started this year that I really enjoy, but that's a different post all together), I found that she was having similar difficulties. Now, some of her issues with the classroom group was their level of autism, but her art therapy room is smaller than my music room, so all of those bodies were crammed into a very small space. She was not feeling like she was able to address any type of therapeutic outcome because she was trying to keep kids in a very small space.

We became proactive rather than reactive and went to the principal with a plan.

We proposed splitting the classroom into to two groups. We had to rearrange our schedules to add an additional session, but we were able to do so.

Our first week of split sessions concluded yesterday. On Monday, six students arrived in the music room for music therapy. These students have a variety of diagnoses - not all of them are on the autism spectrum, but they all have some interest in playing instruments and singing. They completed my session plan and appeared to enjoy playing the YouRock Guitar (another shameless product promotion). We had a successful session. Yesterday, the other group arrived in the session. This is the group that has diagnoses on the autism spectrum and are most of the new students in the group. These are the folks that I have not had a chance to get to know. Yesterday, I did.

By the end of the session, the two clients who always sat with their iPods in an attempt to mask sounds were not wearing their iPods. They were engaging in the improvisations that I was leading, they were completing all requests, and were communicating with me about what they wanted to hear on the stereo. I even got a kiss on the cheek from one of them (he surprised me, but still!).

I now have a chance to build therapeutic relationships with these clients - folks who have attended music therapy for a while now, but have not interacted with much due to the constraints of the previous sessions. I am looking forward to next week's sessions.

Planning for the Day

2011-12-05T05:28:00.001-06:00

Well, it is time to get ready for the week.

I am moving into the music therapy room with absolutely no plans for what to do with my clients. I have five groups to work with (one brand new) and two individual clients for the day.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do have some guidelines to work with. I do have treatment goals and objectives that provide me with some boundaries for treatment, but the actual process of what I will do from opening to closing is somewhat undefined at this time.

I prefer to work this way. I was taught to write detailed session plans during my practicum experiences. One of my supervisors would sit behind the one-way mirror and check off what I did during my sessions. If I changed something, she would challenge me about my changes. Since I was working with at-risk preschoolers at the time, I found that my carefully detailed plans did not always lead to the most appropriate session. So, I changed the plan.

One of the most important things that I have found during my sessions over the years is that I have to enter every session with an idea of what I want to accomplish with my clients. That idea rarely comes to fruition exactly as planned during the session, but that is fine.

When I plan for a session, I am taking into account only two parts of the therapeutic triad - the therapist and the music. I am not taking into account the most important part of the triad - the client.

The client is the most important part of the music therapy session. Without the client, there will be no therapy. Therefore, when I go into a session with a set plan, I am not taking into account that the client has unique ideas and talents to contribute. Therefore, I have to adapt my plan to each person who enters the therapeutic relationship.

So, I am off to work and getting ready to design my group sessions. Here is the plan - choose a song for the Holiday Sing. There you go! Other than that, my session plan is wide open. We will sing a bit, move a bit, think a bit, and learn a bit. Enjoy your day!

Musings...

2011-12-04T06:05:00.001-06:00

Music is an essential part of life. It is interesting how every culture in the world has developed musical expression to express emotions - love, frustration, anger, courage, pride, sadness, mourning. It also fascinates me that the same music does not necessarily translate meaning to other people. If I write a song to convey a specific message, other people may not understand unless I can explain it. On the other hand, other people may understand what I am trying to communicate. They filter the music through their own life experiences. My love for Finlandia by Sibelius is completely based on my life experiences and the places that I am and have been in my life.

The power of extramusical associations is not to be underestimated. My memories can be triggered by song at any time at any place. You're the Inspiration by Chicago takes me back to high school crushes. Rhinestone Cowboy by Glenn Campbell is from my little kid days in Texas. The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber shoots me back to Hashinger Hall in college and singing loudly in my dorm room.

This tool that we use in our everyday life, music, gives us so many options, experiences, and avenues for assisting our clients in finding their paths towards their goals. I spend so much time using the elements of music as a tool that I sometimes forget to listen to the music that is around me.

Right now, as I am sitting here blogging in my home, I am watching a television series that is using music to illustrate an emotional point. The music is not of really good quality - the singer is a bit whiny and quite annoying - but it tells a story. As the story has progressed, the singer has become less whiny (or I am accustomed to it) and less prominent in the show.

There has been a discussion on the edges of the music therapy listserve lately about the quality of music presented in music therapy sessions. Folks have been asking and discussing whether it is important that music therapists provide high quality musical experiences for their clients. Should music therapists be able to sing in tune? Definitely. Should music therapists know the chords that are in their songs? Of course. Should music therapists be able to play by ear. If not, what they are doing as therapists? Should music therapists sound like someone else? Not at all. I do not feel that my musical interactions are not valid if I do not sing a Britney Spears song like Britney Spears. My interactions are more valuable when I am authentic to myself and to the therapeutic relationship.

Aaah, the musings of a music therapist who has had too much time to think this weekend.

Trying, no striving for organization

2011-12-03T07:24:00.001-06:00

I try very hard to be an organized person.

I have a reputation for being organized, but I just remember things well. I spend lots of time remembering the things that went wrong in situations and then making sure they do not happen again. For example, after needing electricity in a professional meeting and watching my battery die, I always bring an extension cord to meetings. This appears to be a signal of organization to others. To me, it is just learning from my previous mistakes.

In my home life, I am a pack rat. I buy things that I really do not need, but that I think I will use in the future. Now, the good thing is that I do use that stuff in the future, but I store it in my house in the meantime. That means that there is LOTS of junk in my small living space.

This next week is clean up and throw out week.

I will be looking at what I already have here and will be trying to figure out what is finished and what is still needing work. We shall see.

The transfer to the music therapy world is a convoluted one...sorry for this.

I think that a pack rat person makes a creative therapist. I have a literal bag of tricks to go along with my music therapy bag of tricks. If a client has an interest in trucks, I can find something that will engage that client in music therapy.

Now, enough time sitting here talking about getting organized - I have to just do it.

Sigh.

Here I go.

Composing Songs

2011-11-30T05:48:00.001-06:00

On Monday, I was running a sensory session with some children and tweens when I started to improvise a "play with me" song. The song was effective in that it elicited the desired response and appeared to be highly attractive to my clients. As I was singing, I kept thinking that I needed to remember this song for my composition files.

Fast forward to the end of the day.

I finally had an opportunity to sit down at the computer to notate the song.

It was gone.

I have composed many songs in the moment - improvised to make the session goals work. Lots of those songs were wonderful, lots were not so wonderful, but they are all gone into the vapor of my mind.

Now, I know that I could interrupt the session to note down the song. I know I could record every session so I would have all of my songs ready to be translated into music. I can't do either of those things. So, I am resigned to composing wonderful songs but losing them when the moment is gone. Sigh.

Well, time to go to work. I should be on track to write several songs today. Hopefully they will be easily remembered and fixed. We shall see.

Sing...

Shameless Product Promotion

2011-11-29T05:46:00.001-06:00

This year at AMTA, I was the winner of a chance drawing. I won five YOUROCK guitars. Now, out of all of the things that I put a ticket towards, these guitars were the last choice that I made and seemed to be the least interesting for me, but I have changed my mind.

My package arrived at my music therapy clinic yesterday and contained my new instruments. Now, when I first saw these, I thought they were just for playing Guitar Hero, but then I started to examine the box more carefully.

These are actually electric guitars with MIDI capability, synthesizer presets, and gaming capabilities.

I work with adolescents (and some children, but mostly adolescents) who are enamored by the thought of an electric guitar. They are interested in guitars in general, but really interested in electric guitars. I have not had one that is in working condition since I moved to this job, and I have always told my students that I can't afford to get as many as I would need for my group music lessons. This event changed all that talk forever.

Anyway, back to the shameless product promotion that this blog entry is named for...

I took my first guitar out of the box to see what was going on with the instrument. I found some batteries, put them in, turned it on...and nothing. I went to the instruction book (which should have been read first, but I was excited) and found that the guitar did not play on its own. I plugged it into the amplifier and "Voila." Music came out, beautiful, rich, and electric! I played around for some time and tried to get my students interested. They were not impressed, but that particular group of adolescents is not often interested in what I show them - they prefer to choose their own instruments. The next group was much more interested - boding well for the rest of my students.

I have not completely read the instruction manual, so I am still learning about what I can do with these instruments, but I can tell you that I am now seeing lots of advertisements for these things - amazon.com, thinkgeek, and other websites are promoting the YOUROCK guitars this year. I can tell you that my excitement over winning these instruments just continues to grow as I can start to see lots of things that I can do with students in my music therapy practice.

Sorry for the shameless plug, but I think these things are really going to open up new horizons for my clients and for me as well.

Focusing on Developmental Levels

2011-11-26T18:19:00.001-06:00

I have been thinking about developmental levels for a time now.

I work with children and adolescents with developmental and psychiatric disorders for a while now. In my career, I have moved through several philosophical views, but have always returned to the idea of focusing on meaningful interactions based on the clients' developmental levels.

Recently my facility's population has started to swing towards kids severely involved on the autism spectrum. With these kids especially, developmental milestones are essential when attempting to establish a therapeutic relationship. It is important to understand where a child is on the developmental scale in order to design interactions that are meaningful to the client. If I am asking an adolescent boy to play call-response patterns when he is really in the stage of free play and sensory interaction, neither of us will be satisfied with the result of the session.

I have found a couple of good books that I hope will strengthen my therapeutic relationships with my students. I will post more on these books when I unpack my box from the conference (which I will not receive until Monday). I am looking forward to remembering what I have forgotten about developmental music therapy. In the meantime, I will observe my clients and their responses to the music experiences I initiate.

Thankful Things

2011-11-25T09:26:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was the American holiday of Thanksgiving, and many folks posted about things they were thankful for. I decided to wait until today for the completely practical reason that I was not around my computer all day yesterday.

Today I am thankful for the community of music therapists that I spent some time with a week ago. The American Music Therapy Association national conference in Atlanta last week was a wonderful experience for me. I do not always come away from the conference as refreshed and invigorated as I did with this one, but I always go to the conference looking for inspiration.

I am thankful for my clients. Those children have gone through experiences that many of us would have nightmares about, and yet they still manage to play, sing, learn, and find good things in life. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to help them in their journey through life.

I am always thankful for my family.

I am thankful that I am a music therapist - someone who has the responsibility to use music to help others gain their life goals. I am thankful that there exists a community of music therapists who also use music to help others gain their life goals. I am thankful for researchers who take the time to establish the profession as an evidence-based science. I am thankful for the clinicians who are in the trenches day after day, using the research to benefit clients of all shapes, sizes, and ability levels.

Thank you, all.

Winding Down

2011-11-19T19:03:00.001-06:00

The American Music Therapy Association's national conference is coming to a close. This conference has been a tremendous experience and has been so refreshing to me in so many ways.

I have actually met many of the people that I have engaged with in a purely online format. This has been interesting. I have talked to these folks many times via meeting software and emails, but have never seen them face-to-face before now. I am always interested in how tall or short they are, what their voices actually sound like, and if we will get along differently when we see each other in person. (We did.)

The themes of this conference seemed to be looking towards the future, developing leadership, and thinking about moving to the Master's-level entry into the profession. For me, one of the best moments was during the keynote speech when Ken Bruscia appeared to be saying that we as therapists HAVE to be inclusive of all others - even those therapists who have different philosophical viewpoints from our own. This seemed to be at once obvious and then profound, especially when Dr. Bruscia said it.

Recently, I have had some struggles in my job that are not at all related to being a music therapist. The conference has been a good period of positive reinforcement for me - lots of affirming comments by therapists I respect that tell me that I can go back into my struggles with renewed commitment and a refreshed sense of what my role is at my facility.

I spoke to many music therapy students yesterday during the Internship Fair. Folks asked me great questions. I love working with students because they ask questions and honestly listen to the answers. They have the chance to explore the life of a music therapist from the beginning. They do. They inspire me.

Isn't this what conference is all about?

Thank you, music therapy friends.

Overwhelmed, Humbled, and Excited

2011-11-18T00:49:00.001-06:00

All of these words are appropriate adjectives for how I am currently feeling.

This conference experience has been an extremely rewarding one so far, and the opening ceremony finished a mere 4 hours ago.

Let me explain further.

I arrived in Atlanta on Tuesday afternoon with my meeting schedule in hand. I have the privilege of being the chairperson of the Association Internship Approval Committee (AIAC) for the American Music Therapy Association, so I always get to start my conference before the conference officially starts. *CAVEAT - I am writing this entry at 1:53 am EST, so I apologize if I do not make much sense. I am not used to being up this late on a regular basis, but I really cannot get to sleep yet. I will rue this decision in 5 short hours from now...* Tuesday evening was spent in the company of my friend and long-time conference roommate, just catching up with each other after a year of emails and facebooking.

On Wednesday, I led the AIAC meeting. We met for 10 hours as a committee, talking about issues that are present in National Roster Internship programs, recognizing and celebrating our successes, and daring to dream about the future of music therapy education and clinical training. The seven women that I had the privilege (and it really is just that, a privilege) of working with were intelligent, open to new ideas, able to see the points of view of others, cognizant of the business that needed to be done, and demonstrated a level of professionalism that always manages to keep me in awe. We spent lots of time simply enjoying the work that we do for AMTA and enjoying each other as colleagues.

After another late night meeting, I spent some quiet time talking to family members before getting to sleep way past my regular bed time.

This morning started with a breakfast meeting and then preparation for a Continuing Music Therapy Education course sponsored by the AIAC. That was the end of the downtime on Thursday.

The CMTE went very well with everything just flowing the way it needed to. The meeting that I had to go to during my portion of the information ended just as I had to be back in the course to lead. Feedback from participants was very positive, especially those who had been in the course in years past. I had the opportunity to speak to several people who were willing to offer information and resources for us to use for the next year. The opening ceremony was inspiring (though I really wish we didn't have to stand up and sit down repeatedly).

During the Exhibit Spectacular, I bought 6 chance tickets and carefully placed 1 ticket in 6 different jars in an attempt to win instruments. I was just commenting to my friends that I rarely won anything while my sister always would win when my name was called. I won 5 YouRock Electric Guitars! These seem to be MIDI compatible, synthesizer, Game system guitars that allow for composition, free play, and learning. I am still in shock over actually winning something that will significantly change how I teach guitar skills to my students. Broken necked guitars NO MORE!

**NOTE: I actually started getting really cold at this point, so I caught 4 hours of sleep.** I am now continuing this later the same day. Maybe I will be more coherent!**

Today I heard Ken Bruscia talk about how music therapists have to be client-directed and willing to shift their focus from being outcome-based, evidence-based, or context-based completely dependent upon what the client needs rather than the THERAPIST'S preferred clinical viewpoint. I applauded him several times during the session. It was nice to hear a person who is revered in the field reiterate the concepts that I have discussed with others many times in different forums. Let's hope that we have finally gotten over the brou-ha-ha of the 70's and will be able to move towards our common goal of the use of music as a therapeutic modality to move clients towards their unique goals.

I am inspired. I am excited. I am ready to keep going...

The Power of Music Therapy

2011-11-15T04:41:00.001-06:00

In the past 24 hours, ABC news has run several stories on Gabrielle Giffords, congresswoman from Arizona, who was shot earlier this year. Her recovery has been tracked by her husband and by millions of well-wishers, but probably not as diligently as it has been tracked by the music therapy world. From the beginning of her rehabilitation process, music therapy has been a featured part of her recovery effort.

Representative Giffords has been an example of the rehabilitation process at its best. Her tenacity and courage has been trumpeted from coast to coast, and it is truly inspiring to hear her story and watch her progress. Her dedicated therapists (music as well as other professions) have helped her in this process from the beginning through to her present levels of functioning and will continue to challenge her to regain skills.

The amount of attention that the profession of music therapy has received this year around this woman's rehabilitation has been amazing. All of a sudden, the things that we, as music therapists, see everyday are big news. We have an excellent example of how music can offer alternate neurological processing centers as well as provide motivation and encourage practicing skills. All of a sudden, music therapy is starting to be seen and heard.

This week, American music therapists will be descending upon Atlanta, Georgia for our national conference. I expect that we will hear lots about Meaghan Morrow, the music therapist who has been featured in the news reports about Representative Giffords. I expect that we will be asked to continue the trend of this national attention to the benefits of music as a therapeutic modality. I expect that we will talk about the news articles on ABC.com quite a bit as we gather together. We will continue to spread the power of music therapy one client at a time as we work, day after day, with all kinds of people in all areas of the world.

Sing out, music therapists, the world is starting to notice.

Inspiration

2011-11-14T04:35:00.001-06:00

Where do you get inspired?

I am a person who finds inspiration in many places...work, church, school, home, in a store, looking at catalogs, watching television, browsing the internet, etc. I have different places for different types of inspiration.

For the next week, I will be in Atlanta, Georgia in the company of about 1400 other music therapists and others interested in music as a therapeutic modality. This is a good place for inspiration, and I hope to be inspired by the people I meet in the course of the week.

I do not get an opportunity to go to as many presentations as I used to see at conference. I tend to spend my registration money so I can sit in meetings, present things to the Assembly of Delegates, and offer training rather than getting to see what others are doing in my field. The short periods of time that I do get to go see someone is generally spent trying to nap or gather my thoughts for the next meeting that I have to attend. I am proud of the work that I do for the Association, but I miss the opportunity to attend concurrent sessions.

This year, I hope to be inspired.

More soon...

Looking for the "what ifs"

2011-11-13T04:39:00.001-06:00

What if music therapy education was completely based on the competencies?

What if music therapy clinical training was a full-time experience for music therapy students from the first day they walked into an academic program?

What if every music therapist in the United States was a member of the American Music Therapy Association?

What if music therapy was an essential part of all mental and physical health treatment and a consistent treatment modality in the education of all kids?

What would music therapy look like then?

I love thinking about "what ifs."

There is a certain amount of "what if" thought when you are going through a session with a client. I find myself consciously (and unconsciously) thinking "what if I sped this rhythm up a bit? What would 'Q' do then?" So, I try it. I then see what happens. I evaluate and make more decisions based on more "what if" statements.

Being open to the possibilities is important in both therapy sessions and in dreaming about the future of the profession.

I get bogged down in my expectations and in my comfort zone at times. I get into routines with my clients. I think I know the answers to all the "what ifs" that come into my mind. I am comfortable in my little therapy box, and I continue in that box for a time.

Unfortunately, staying in my box is not the best thing for my clients, myself, or for my professional role in my facility and in the community. I have to continuously challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and into the world of "what ifs."

What if I sang every song in a different mode? What would happen then?

What if I didn't speak at all during sessions? What would happen then??

What if we, as music therapists, completely revised how we teach our skills to others?

What if we, as music therapists, dared to start from scratch? What would education, clinical training, and our role in human services look like then?

What if...

Getting Excited...

2011-11-12T05:36:00.001-06:00

I have planned my paraeducator-run music therapy sessions.

I have found all of the trinkets for my hard-working, dedicated committee members that I really enjoy working with throughout the year.

I have finished my presentation outlines.

I am almost finished with laundry, packing, and cleaning my room.

It is time.

Can you tell that I look forward to this every year? I really, really do! I am getting excited about seeing old friends, meeting some interesting professionals, seeing people that I have only ever "met" via social media, following celebrities around, talking to music therapy students, and working hard for the association. This upcoming week is going to be exhausting, but well worth the time, effort, and expense.

I have several goals for this year's conference.

See Ben Folds somewhere.
Finish 3 committee tasks and start 2 others.
Find something cool to share with my clients after Thanksgiving.
Buy something just for me.
Go to a presentation that fires me up in some way.
Talk to an interesting young professional about what I do.

I don't know how much I will be blogging during the next week, but I will try to write something. See you in Atlanta!

Refreshment of the Best Kind

2011-11-08T04:52:00.000-06:00

A week from today, I am traveling to Atlanta for the American Music Therapy Association National Conference.

I will be joining therapists from around the world in celebrating what we do best - helping others through music. Conference week will include lots of discussions, lots of meetings, lots of difficult decisions for the profession of music therapy. There will be some celebrities - Mickey Hart, Jodi Picoult, and Ben Folds are going to be there during the week. (I probably will get into conversations with these people and not have a CLUE who they are until someone tells me later - I am notoriously famous for finding out later that the people that talk to me are "names.") There will be many more friends, colleagues, mentors, and idols around than celebrities (thank goodness!).

I look forward to conference every year.

I insist on attending for the chance to be around therapists who do many things in their facilities that I never envisioned. I spend lots of time reevaluating my own therapeutic demeanor and engaging in the "wishing" part of my role as therapist. For example, "I wish I had the ability to see what was going on in my clients' brains." "I wish I could engage in formal research more." "I wish I could afford to buy all of these things for my kids."

I insist on attending for the opportunity to talk to other therapists who share my passion for music. I have met so many therapists who share some of the feelings that I have shared with you in this blog. Therapists who see the benefits of music everyday. Therapists who occasionally feel isolated or overwhelmed. Therapists who need refreshment as much as I do.

I will also be on the hunt for the perfect thing to bring back to my music therapy clinic. I spend so much time away from my work environment that I always bring back something tangible for my clients to see. This helps them understand that I was someplace else, learning about music therapy. I have found humongous triangles, a little bitty drum set, squeaky horses, harmony rattles, and lots of other things during my years. I will be on the lookout for the perfect addition to my instrument collection.

At the end of the week, I have the advantage of being close enough to family that I will be staying in Atlanta for my post-conference desperate need for sleep. I get to spend time with my grandmother who will trot out my aunt, cousins, great-aunts and uncles, and assorted second, third cousins. I hope that my brother and nephew will come down for some time to see me as well. This situation is perfect as I tend to be absolutely exhausted when conference is over. (I am getting more busy as my years in the association grow, so I have more obligations and less time to just enjoy conference.) I will get to sleep at Grandma's house. I will have a chance to just be a bit quiet there as well. Last year, I just sat during sessions in shock for the two days before the Thanksgiving break in a haze. I will skip that particular haze this year.

I hope you get a chance to attend a conference with your peers. It is important to network and meet others that share your views - or challenge those views.

I hope I get to meet you in Atlanta -

Mary Jane

Health - Mental, Physical

2011-11-06T05:19:00.001-06:00

You may have noticed that I have been blogging about current stressors present in my job at the moment. I have been thankful to have this forum as an outlet for some of my frustrations as writing has always been a cathartic experience for me. Seeing my feelings in word form often allows me to see patterns, twists, and paths to solutions. So, thank you for indulging my recent trend towards complaining.

While the situation has not been resolved yet, I have had to disconnect from the situation to help with my own health.

Friday was the day for the meeting with the teacher who has caused so much conflict in my life. The meeting was canceled, but I spent the night before the meeting in fitful sleep (typical for me when I'm stressed) and then spent the day in a blood pressure flush. I got home and found that my blood pressure was extremely high.

It is interesting to me that I often feel that I hate my job when I am experiencing some physical health issues. Once the health issues are resolved, I am back to loving my life, especially my music therapy sessions. The physical has a direct effect on the mental - something that I do not always remember.

I am actually relieved to know that there is something going on with my health. It explains some of why I am tense, but there is an interesting chicken and egg conundrum here. Am I tense because my blood pressure is high? Or is my blood pressure high because I am in a situation that increases my stress level? Who knows.

All I know is that these two things are interconnected.

I am going to focus on relaxation as well as conflict resolution this week.

Here is the plan. I will spend a portion of everyday making music just for me. I will spend some time in deep breathing relaxation. I will take my medication. I will avoid situations that make me feel additional stress. I will enjoy the interactions that I have with students this week. I will find something to do daily that is out of the ordinary for me.

I will also job shop. If I am not happy where I am, I owe it to myself to find my bliss somewhere else.

Off to breathe deeply...

Therapy Things

2011-11-03T05:46:00.001-05:00

My principal informed me yesterday that we were going to start a new classroom in two weeks. While this adds many complications in organizing an already packed schedule, I am looking forward to this new addition to our school.

The classroom will be called a "low-density" classroom, meaning (according to the principal) that there will be a low staff:student ratio. There will be five students and three staff members in the classroom. The students are students that we already serve in different classrooms.

All of the students require pervasive levels of support for appropriate function in their environments. They are all loud communicators, and they are all not really appropriate matches for their current classrooms. Their presence in group therapy has always complicated my job as a therapist as they do not fit in with the rest of their classroom group. Now that they are in their own group, my job of finding therapeutic interventions to engage them in the therapeutic process is going to be much easier. In addition, the opportunity to have entire sessions focused around their unique needs will also be more beneficial to them.

I am looking forward to this opportunity.

I envision a music therapy session where the focus of therapy is on communication of wants/needs and on sensory-based interventions. I believe that when one of these students start to scream, the others will join in, allowing us to improvise music as a group (rather than just annoying quieter peers). I envision a music therapy session with little to no formal planning from me, more improvisation and going where they lead me.

Lead me, kids.

Conflict Resolution

2011-10-30T14:07:00.002-05:00

Have you ever been in the middle of a sticky situation that you are unable to get out of?

How do you get yourself out of the situation?

I have spent many hours in conflict resolution training as part of my various jobs as a music therapist. This has gone along with training on workplace violence, blood-borne pathogens, and many other topics. Of all the training that I have had over my 18 years of music therapy, I think that conflict resolution training has been the most valuable of them all.

I work with children and adolescents that are under-served, unserved, or difficult to serve. They often show up at our facility in full combat mode - fighting over everything. Any question you ask is answered with a resounding "NO!" There is a conflict with any suggestion, any experience, anything that is perceived to be something that will lead to a fight.

In my music therapy sessions, clients are allowed to refuse to participate. I do not mind.

I know that music is not always a happy experience for my students, so I expect that they stay awake and respect others as they participate, but no one is forced to do more than they want to do. I refuse to make participation a conflict situation. If someone wants to participate, fine. If not, fine.

I am also a good manipulator. I say that with a bit of shame and lots of pride. I offer my clients the opportunity to refuse to participate, but I also try to make my interventions so interesting and engaging that they will participate. It is rare that a client will spend all of the time refusing to participate or trying to engage me in a conflict.

I can do these things with my clients, but I find it much more difficult to do with my co-workers. I am currently practicing for a confrontation with a co-worker who does not appear to understand me or my level of professionalism at all. I have brought my supervisor into the discussion since I do not feel comfortable with the conflict or with my co-worker. I have been practicing my "I-statements." The discussion will occur this week, and I think I am ready.

Why is it that I am able to do the things that I have learned with my clients, but not with this co-worker??? Sigh. More practice with my conflict resolution skills to come.

Getting Ready for the AMTA Conference

2011-10-20T06:42:00.000-05:00

It is October.

This month of Halloween is also the month before the annual American Music Therapy Association national conference. I am a habitual presenter and now, as a member of two committees, I always have to get ready for the conference this month as well.

I always have this realization that time is running out at about this time of year.

This year, music therapists from the United States and other countries around the world will be converging on Atlanta. This is the second time in my career that we will visit the state of Georgia, and I am looking forward to both the conference and the opportunity to visit my family members in the greater Atlanta area.

I highly recommend that music therapists attend the national conference. It is an opportunity to meet many like-minded people - all interested in the use of music to affect change in the lives of others - and it is an opportunity to remember that we are not alone in our ideas, interests, and professional lives. I am always overwhelmed with the information that I learn during the conference. I also enjoy being a presenter and sharing the information that I have discovered over the years.

So, I am off to finish my electronic presentation, my CMTE notes, my meeting agenda, and my schedule. I hope to see you in Atlanta!

The Journey of Therapy

2011-10-16T07:10:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of the San Francisco Peaks by Flagstaff, Arizona from the Meteor Crater Complex outside of Winslow, Arizona. It is one of my favorite pictures because of the winding road that took me from the interstate all the way to the crater itself. The landscape is the desert (another place I love!) and looks so barren.

I like to think of this picture as a representation of the journey that we therapists take with our clients.

We start from a place where we are comfortable (the buildings in this picture). We know where we are, and we know where we are heading (the mountains). The path between the two is often winding, sometimes treacherous, and sometimes not clearly defined. While the way to the goal is not always clear, when you reach the goal, you can see where you have been.

I closed the therapeutic relationship with a client this week. He was a young man with a tragic history of physical abuse and neglect who came to our facility about 11 months ago. He really started to bloom in music therapy and gave me a clear indication of where he wanted to go. We played through music. We communicated through music, and he generalized that skill into other environments. He left on Friday to go to a foster placement - a wonderful step for him. I am trudging back to my starting place without him...a very sad journey for me, but one that is also joyful.

It is the role of the therapist to put him or herself out of a job.

Think about that statement for a bit.

It is our ultimate goal to supply our clients with the provisions that they need to continue their journey without us. It is my job to guide my clients to the mountain, but they are going to go past the mountain without me. I return to my base and start the journey with another person, trusting that those who have made it to the mountain have gone on to bigger and better things. Things I will never see.

Thank you for letting me be your guide for a little while. I enjoyed the journey. God speed.

Closing the Therapeutic Relationship

2011-10-14T06:15:00.001-05:00

Today, I will have to say "Good-bye" to a client who has blossomed in music therapy. "Q" is leaving today after about a year of time at our facility. "Q" is a young man who has a horrible history of neglect and physical abuse. He arrived with no communication or social skills and is leaving a young man who can indicate what he needs without biting or screaming. He is truly a success story for the people who work at my place of employment.

"Q" has been featured in several of my previous blog posts. He interacted with me through the music way before he interacted with others. He responded to music in ways different than any other stimulus. He is a young man who deserves music in his education because he truly does perform his educational objectives more when music therapy is the primary form of intervention.

Did I ever mention that "Q" has gigantic blue eyes?

Today I have to say "Good-bye" to "Q."

Ending a therapeutic relationship is never an easy situation, but it is a part of every relationship. In this case, I am not part of the termination/discharge decision, and that makes it a bit more difficult to accomplish. In my facility, the state department of mental health determines when clients leave (primarily due to funding issues), and the direct care staff do not have input. Children arrive and leave at the whims of outside social workers.

"Q" has made such remarkable progress with us that he has been determined to be ready for foster care. I know, with my head, that this step is due to his growth and really is the best things for him, but my heart wants to keep him around longer. I don't feel that it is time to close the therapeutic relationship, but I have no choice. I hope that "Q" will continue to be involved in music therapy, but I don't think it will happen. I will wave to him as he leaves for his new adventures, suppress a tear, and meet the new students arriving for treatment.

Good-bye, "Q." I'll miss our Wednesday afternoon sessions.

Boomwhacker Aftermath

2011-10-13T05:54:00.000-05:00

So, with the experience of the Boomwhacker party resonating in my head all night, I awoke to several new ideas. Most of these are not Boomwhacker ideas, but what the hey - I thought I'd share...

My clients have developmental and psychiatric diagnoses, so many of the things that I saw last night were not things my clients can access easily. The chants, the songs, and the organization skills were valuable, so I will use them (with LOTS of adaptations) with my students.

Now, on to my ideas.

With the upcoming Halloween event arriving, I suggest using the Boomwhackers in minor keys. A and C, E and B, D and F are all minor tonalities that can be used as the format for "spooky" songs using the Diatonic set. I often use the exact same songs that I use during the rest of the year on Halloween, but I change all of my major tonalities to minor tonalities. The change of mode increases the eeriness of the music and really makes me think about my melodies and pitches as well. It's a great exercise - try it sometime. Any song can be "mode-ified." It makes for some strange sounding melodies, but it is fun for a music theory nerd like myself. Don't forget Lydian, Lochrian, and the other modes...

Boomwhackers Faster Than the Speed of Sound (well, maybe not, but we'll try...)

My kids are fascinated by speed. They seem to think that faster is better and often refuse to slow down. We sit in a circle and pass the sound around the circle. If you are fortunate enough to have a plethora of Boomwhackers, you can arrange them into a melody or phrase. (For example, each kid has one Boomwhacker and sit in the following order: C - C - G - G - A - A- G.) Challenge the students to play the notes in the correct order as well as to identify the song phrase. Once the clients have done both tasks, speed up the playing around the circle until they can play as fast as they can.

Gonna Carve a Pumpkin to Match My Mood

Emotion recognition is often not something that my clients come by naturally. They do not seem to realize that other people have emotions or that emotions are part of relationships. I am constantly trying to develop interventions that challenge them to evaluate their emotions and the emotions of others. This idea started last year right after Halloween, and I am looking forward to trying it out this next week.

Every student receives a pumpkin blank and velcroed facial features. We sing the song, and they place the features that they want on the pumpkin. I ask them to tell me what mood they were making. We then sing the song again, using the modal changes that I talked about in the first idea, identifying if the music sounds like the emotion. This is often a difficult concept for my students, but they can choose the mode that sounds best to them (There are no wrong answers).

Interested in more ideas?

Let me know...

Boomwhacker Party?? What??

2011-10-12T19:14:00.001-05:00

I just finished a webinar with Kat Fulton, electronic media guru! She sent out an invitation for anyone who was interested to attend an online Boomwhacker Party. I thought, "Why not?" and signed up.

Now, I am very interested in offering online CMTE courses for music therapists who share my interests in persons with developmental disabilities, persons with psychiatric diagnoses, and music therapy interns. I am always interested in how others offer information online, so I signed up for both the Boomwhacker ideas and to see Kat in action.

I was not disappointed.

We used an online conference meeting platform called MeetingBurner. I logged in and waited for the others to arrive. The platform did not allow us to see each other, but we could see Kat and see her powerpoint presentation. It was a bit difficult to contact Kat while she was presenting, but we chatted amongst ourselves without an issue.

Now, the boomwhacker ideas were things that I would have to adapt quite a bit for my students, but Kat offered many ideas in a short amount of time. I will be waiting expectantly for the information that she will be sending to us later on.

How can we, as therapists, use the everchanging electronic media available to us to be better facilitators for our clients?

The first thought is to participate in information sharing opportunities such as the webinar that I attended 10 minutes ago. We can now communicate with each other at the speed of light, so why not?

Secondly, of course, we can use the internet to find out the most recent research in our field and in related fields. I had a wonderful "A-ha" moment yesterday when I started parsing the information in Dr. Patel's article from Nature Neuroscience in 2003 about syntax. There will be more about this when I get it all figured out.

Third, we can interact with clients in real time, but not in real space. Now, I admit that I would always rather be in real space with a client, but it is nice to know that I could participate in therapy from a distance, if necessary. This is especially nice to know now that online K-12 schools are becoming more prevalent and that the number of certified music therapists does not change very much or very often. With more kids that could be reached in an electronic format, music therapists can provide some services to areas that do not have a music therapist locally.

This was an exciting experience for me, and I heartily thank Kat Fulton for offering the opportunity! Keep an eye out for some opportunities from me coming soon!

Seeing the Entire Picture - Part 2

2011-10-09T06:47:00.001-05:00

Working as a music therapist often means that you have the privilege of seeing clients in a different way than other professionals.

In my music therapy room, kids are often engaged, looking happy, and participating actively in the therapeutic experiences. They will stop screaming when they know that it is almost time to sing, dance, and play. They will hold their behavior in the "acceptable" range for the duration of the session and, many times, for well after the closing song.

Why is this the case?

We know that music affects the brain differently than other stimuli. There are many researchers who study the effect of music on the brain, and there is lots of research that helps us, as therapists, to explain the mechanisms that occur in the brains of our clients.

Now, I don't know exactly what goes on in the brains of my clients since I don't have a fMRI machine or a PET Scan machine. I can only see their faces, their movements, their responses to music and therapeutic musical experiences.

In the past several days, there has been a discussion about music therapy and fun. Some folks have stated that we do not do music therapy just so a client has fun - fun and enjoyment is irrelevant to music therapy as a modality. These folks appear to be very research-based and brain-based. The other camp seems to think that without fun, music therapy cannot be accomplished.

I think that both groups are correct.

How is that for staying neutral?? (Sarcasm intended.)

Music therapists do themselves an injustice if they are not aware of the physiological changes in the brain and body when music is played. They do themselves a much larger injustice if they believe that music therapy is only centered around fun. We have to start to assimilate the information given to us by folks that study the effect of music on human beings into the rationales that we develop when planning music therapy interventions.

Who is going to assimilate this information?

I gotta tell you, I don't think that music therapy researchers have much time to do this task. They are busy studying specific effects of music on therapeutic outcomes. They do not often have the luxury of developing a therapeutic relationship with their subjects. I think this task falls to those of us in the trenches of clinical work.

I have the advantage of working with a relatively stable population of clients. I get to know them pretty well, and I am able to observe their responses to music over time and over mood shifts. I can see what different forms of music do when presented to my mercurial clients. I do not know exactly what is going on in their brains, but I can start to make some guesses if I take the time to read the research of other professionals. This helps me to see the entire picture of music and the role music takes for my kids.

For the next several weeks, I am going to use Google Scholar to start to read some of the non-Music Therapy research out there that examines the effect of music on the brain. I will see if I can start to assimilate that information into my therapeutic planning. I will also try to share some of that information here.

Last year, in Cleveland, Dr. Ani Patel shared some of the research results that he had found, and he also told us that we needed to step up and provide the other side of the story. He emphasized that researchers could give us the glimpse into the brain, but that we needed to tell them about the rest of the picture.

Let's do that.

(By the way, the picture at the top of this post was taken on the campus of the University of Chicago in 2005.)

My Life as a Musical Sherlock Holmes

2011-10-06T17:08:00.002-05:00

Today's last session was one where I was at a loss.

My child is 9 years old, diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in the pervasive level of involvement and with various and sundry psychiatric diagnoses. When I entered his classroom, he was curled up on the floor, screaming. I offered him his schedule card, and he walked with me, screaming all the way. We successfully retrieved his music card and headed towards the classroom door.

Once outside, he tried to pull me the opposite direction. When I told him we were going to the music room, he threw himself on the floor and kept screaming. He hit his head on the floor until I placed my foot between the floor and his scalp...then, he hit my foot a couple more times.

Eventually, he stood up and walked with me to the music room, still crying and screaming.

Once inside the room, he and I walked over to the window in the corner. I offered him the gathering drum (which he likes to sit on), and he sat. The screaming continued.

I pulled out my ocean drums and started echoing his sounds. He responded by pulling my hair. I stopped echoing and just kept going with the ocean drum. He laid his head on the drum and alternated between hitting the drum with his head and his hands. He started to calm.

He engaged in moving the ocean drum, occasionally hiccuping and crying. I considered this progress as we were no longer screaming. We got to the point where he calmed enough for me to sing questions.

"Do you hurt?"

Crying.

"Where do you hurt?"

Pulled my hands to his head. This is his typical movement, but I thought I would try some deep pressure. I squeezed his head, shoulders, arms, and hands. He took a deep breath.

"Does your head hurt?"

He pulled my hands back. We sat with my hands on his head for about 5 minutes, just breathing and occasionally singing more questions. We walked back to class where he started screaming again. I passed on the message that he may have a headache (who wouldn't after head-banging on the floor?) and transitioned him back to his schedule. His crying was less than when I took him to the music room.

I often find myself in a place where I have to find out something about a person who uses alternate forms of communication. Many of my students are nonverbal and have learned to use off-putting behaviors to gain what they want. That is not allowed with me. You can scream as much as you can, but until you use your words, you will not get what you want. As soon as you start to communicate appropriately, you can gain what you need.

To find out information that I need to know and use in sessions, I often try sounds rather than words. With my child today, echoing his sounds was not what he needed. He needed less sound from me and more from the ocean drum. I offer sounds and look for changes in responses. I file those responses away in my brain file for future reference. Does the student appear to like this sound? Dislike it? Seem indifferent? Did this work before but isn't working now? Why or why not?

I have to be open to all possibilities, including the possibility that music is not the best way to interact.

I keep looking for the way into communication and relationship building with my students. Keep looking for the cues and clues that your clients show to you.

Therapeutic Music Intervention Planning

2011-10-03T05:56:00.001-05:00

I am getting my head ready for session planning for the upcoming week. I have two different types of sessions - kids with severe involvement and kids with less severe involvement. I see every student in the facility for group treatment - 50 minutes per week - and about 30 of them in individual or small group treatment. In addition, each child receives 60 minutes of multidisciplinary educational enhancement services on Friday (themed discovery learning and problem-solving experiences that involve LOTS of movement).

My session planning is very different from what I was taught as an undergraduate music therapy student. When I was a fledgling, I was required to plan sessions, memorize those plans, and follow my script perfectly. This was a difficult thing for me to do as I have always been more willing to follow where a client leads me than to make a client do what I say. I had supervisors who would check off when I would say what was on my plan, and they would challenge my decisions when I deviated from the plan. I learned quickly to have a reason why I changed the order of my interventions. Most of the time, it was because I didn't feel that the 3-year old that I was working with was ready to sit and complete academic work. He needed to wiggle a bit more.

These days, session planning is more of a strategy planning session. I always have at least one experience/intervention that all of my "blue" groups (kids with severe involvement) and my "purple" groups (the other kids) go through. These are often elements of music education or therapy games that require special materials. After that, I often "play it off the cuff."

I firmly believe that the most effective therapists are client-directed as well as led by clients through musical interventions that are meaningful to the client. Therapists MUST be able to recognize signs and symptoms of avoidance, boredom, disinterest, and excitement in their clientele in order to design and develop meaningful interventions. If you make a concerted effort to use a client's interests, the client is more likely to engage in the intervention. If you insist that a client complete your plan without thinking about the client's interests, there will come a time when the client will refuse to participate. Therapy becomes a chore rather than a learning or healing process.

I write all of my therapeutic musical experience/intervention ideas down. I am starting to delineate the role of music in the intervention as I do so. This process allows me to be more strategy-driven rather than activity-driven within my sessions. I also brainstorm every goal area addressed by each TME and write those down as well. When a TME is changed, adapted, or extended in some way, I write that down. All of these habits have helped me be more strategy-minded and more client responsive.

This week, I think we will look at my woodwind instruments. I haven't taken the clarinet or the saxophone to work with me before, so the new instruments will probably cause quite a stir. After we look at those instruments, I will attempt to make a sound on them both. That will be amusing since I am NOT a woodwind musician but a mighty BRASS musician. Then, we will sing some songs about social interaction, play some instruments, and maybe even play a few games. Who knows?

What A Difference A Week Makes...

2011-09-29T17:32:00.000-05:00

Last week stunk. There is no other word for the funk that I was in that was caused by work, or by the aspartame, or by the moon, or...

Anyway, this week is MUCH better!

I stopped drinking the Crystal Light. I made an effort to avoid the people who drive me crazy (A.S.P. - my new campaign...I may post about this at some point), and I tried to think positive thoughts all the time.

Aaah, the power of the positive thought.

I think positive thinking is often highly underrated. There is power to thinking about the good in things. The recession...it is forcing me to budget more carefully. The allergies...the medication makes me feel sleepy so I am sleeping well. Co-workers' conflict...an opportunity to focus on my role in the facility. Broken guitar...an opportunity to challenge myself with my piano skill development.

There.

Go out and think positively. It made a world of difference for me.

Leaving It All Behind

2011-09-23T17:16:00.000-05:00

The work week is over. Thank all that is good in this world that the week is over.

This week presented me with many challenges.

First, a teacher didn't bother to communicate with me that his class would be 20 minutes late to music therapy. I waited and left because they weren't where they were supposed to be. He arrived a bit later and announced that they were NOW ready for me. I told him that I cleaned up and left because they hadn't arrived. He started yelling at me that I was denying his students their IEP-based right to music therapy. He didn't like it a bit when I informed him that music therapy is not on any student's IEP at my facility. He stormed off to tell the principal.

Second...the principal.

There aren't many people that I just cannot work with, but unfortunately, she is one of these people. She informed me that I needed to "give the teacher his planning time." I couldn't believe that her concern was not for the students but for the teacher! This just irked me no end!

Third, my body is not cooperating. It is allergy season here in Kansas (...for everyone now. I am no longer alone in my chronic allergy suffering!) I missed a dose of medication and had to go through the side effects yesterday. I woke up extremely drowsy and dizzy and decided that I would take a sick day. I felt that my combination of absolute disgust and difficulty staying awake would not be conducive to driving an hour to the facility.

So, I stayed home yesterday. I slept and got over my irksome tendency to feel put upon.

This morning I was calmer, cooler, pretty much over myself, and ready to go back to work. I went to the school and prepared for MMARS (Music, Movement, Art and Rhythmic Sensations). We spent the day playing game show-type games with an educational and problem-solving focus. The day went well. Nothing was unusual in the way kids played or staff members reacted to the experiences presented. The day ended the way it needed to...on a good note.

I feel that I often have difficulty leaving things at work that have no business being in my home environment. After 19 years of offering therapy, I have developed a transition routine that works well (for me.). This routine allows me to leave most of my work-related issues behind at work. Here is my "Leave work at work" routine:

I get into my car and put my work keys into a cup holder.
I take off my watch and put it in the cup holder. (My watch NEVER goes into my house as I have no need for it there - there are clocks EVERYWHERE in my house!)
I have the hour-long commute to rant, rave, cry, laugh, create, or do anything that I feel I need to do. I often make lists of things that I want to try to do at work on Super-Sticky Post-It Notes (love them!!) and stick the notes on my dashboard.
Once I get home, I try to leave everything else in the car.

Today I felt the week evaporate when I took off my watch.

I am finished and will get ready for work when I get into my car on Monday morning.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Seeing the Entire Picture

2011-09-22T07:29:00.002-05:00

Things are not often what they seem at first glance.

This thought is just as true in the therapy setting as it is in any other situation or circumstance.

This week has been an example of looking deeper into situations that are one thing at first glance, but are something else entirely at the second glance.

I have the privilege of being a music therapist at a psychiatric residential treatment facility for children and adolescents ages 5-22. It is part of a larger program that offers educational and residential services for persons with developmental delays and disabilities from infancy to age 3 and ages 5 to end-of-life. (We do not serve kids from 3-5 due to an educational mandate in our state.)

Kids come to my music therapy room with a variety of letters put very carefully into Axis boxes. Axis I diagnoses are often from the world of psychiatry. Axis II diagnoses are often developmental in nature, and Axis III diagnoses are other health diagnoses. It is not uncommon for a seven year old child to arrive at the facility with strings of letters indicating different diagnoses - ADHD, OCD, ODD, RAD, ID/MR, ASD, PDD-NOS, the list goes on and on.

When you start to look at these letters, you often get one picture of the child. This is not the entire picture.

The trick to seeing past the initials to the child is to stop looking at the initials first.

When I receive an admission notice for a student, I scan it, looking for any and all references to music. (These are often in the section entitled, "Successful Calming Strategies," and are never more than just, "listening to music.") After that, I stop reading.

My students attend group music therapy once per week for a standard group session. We start with an opening therapeutic music experience (TME) which I use as an assessment time. We then move into other TMEs designed to address such goals as impulse control, social interaction, and expressing emotion in an appropriate manner. When I first meet a student, I pay close attention to that student during the first session. I am looking to see if the student connects with me through the musical intervention. This very tenuous description of "connection" is not easily observed unless you know what you are looking for. For some of my kids, connection is simply eye contact. For others, it is volunteering for a turn during the opening TME. For yet others, it is singing along with me to songs that are original to me and to Lakemary.

This initial session gives me lots of information about the child as a human being, not just a series of diagnoses and initials.

There is more to each person than ever meets the eye, or the paperwork.

(By the way, the picture at the beginning of this entry is a shot of the roof of the opera house in Sydney, Australia. If you look to the left, you can see the heads of the school children that were there when my sister and I visited after the 2005 World Congress of Music Therapy. Doesn't much look like a roof, does it?)

Finding Your Way

2011-09-17T15:24:00.001-05:00

This weekend I have been contemplating my choice of population. I have been remembering the path that I took during my 19 years of music therapy practice to the people that I serve.

I was always a person who people were drawn to. I spent lots of time with my mother when I was little in her role as an Occupational Therapist. I spent time in nursing homes, in schools for children with physical disabilities, and around folks with exceptionalities. Children with developmental disabilities would find me in large crowds of people and would follow me around. I was destined to be a therapist, right?

Now, as I was growing up, I knew I would be in a helping profession. I enjoyed being a Sunday School teacher, a Girl Scout, a camp counselor, a babysitter, a teacher's aide, you name it. If it involved children or volunteering to be around people, I was there. I met kids in the special education classes in my junior high, I played with a little boy with Down Syndrome at a pool party, and one of my best friends growing up had what I now suspect was Aspergers.

With a mother who was in the forefront of my development who was also an OT, I knew that there were therapy professions out there, but I did not want to be the same as my mom. OT was an idea, but just did not zing for me the same way that Music Therapy did. (At another time, I will regale you with my discovery of music therapy story...I think it's a good one ;-).) I entered my university program knowing that I would be a music therapist that worked with persons with autism.

Fast forward three months, and I was in my first music therapy experience as an observer. Three of us newbies were observing the MT supervisor and three MT students lead sessions with 12 clients from a group home company. The first week, I entered the room with the other two observers, and the female clients entered. They walked up to me and introduced themselves. They did not interact with any of the other therapists in the room. I didn't think much about it. The male clients did the same thing. They all entered the room and walked up to me, introducing themselves and shaking my hand.

The MT asked us all to sit in a circle for the opening. We stated what we liked to do. The responses were pretty typical. "I like chocolate." "I like making friends." This continued until we got to the man sitting immediately to my left. He mumbled, "I like her." The therapist asked him to repeat what he had said, and he pointed to me and said, "I like THAT woman RIGHT THERE!" The therapist, a bit in shock, mumbled something about liking to make new friends and moved on.

When it was time to dance, the man walked right up to me and grabbed my hand. For the rest of the evening, he was my shadow. That was fine with me, but I felt that the attention was a bit weird.

The next week, we were again sitting in the circle, waiting for the men's group to arrive. We heard their footsteps on the ground floor above us, and then we heard something else. All of a sudden, there was a voice from above yelling, "Here I come, MJ-Baby. I love you, Baby. Oh, Baby, Baby. Here I come, MJ!" This was definitely directed toward me. I panicked. The therapist intervened and intercepted him before he got to me.

For the rest of the semester, I was the target of this gentleman's amorous attentions. I felt a bit stalked and decided that I would never be able to work with people with developmental disabilities because of the discomfort that I felt when he made it obvious that he REALLY liked me. He was the star of the performance that we had at the end of the semester, singing and playing the guitar to Nine to Five.

I found out a couple of years after my initial experience that the young man who had very verbally expressed his love for me had never spoken in music therapy previously, much less performed entire songs.

I did eventually figure out that the response that he had to me was not a bad thing, and it did not keep me from pursuing my career. I have worked with persons with developmental disabilities of all ages, shapes, sizes, and levels of intervention and will continue to do so for as long as I can. Thank goodness I found my path.

Finding the place you need to be is not always easy. Often, there are detours, speed limits, roadblocks, or roadside attractions that demand attention. I can only say that, if you keep moving forward, you will find your destination. You can also always turn around and go back to someplace familiar. Just keep moving...

Paying Attention

2011-09-11T07:23:00.000-05:00

Today, September 11, 2011, is the tenth anniversary of the world trade center bombings. There has been absolutely NO WAY you could escape that fact here in the States. This has been a good thing and a bad thing.

I remember where I was when I heard about the incidents that happened on September 11th. I was in my old music therapy room at my current facility when the school secretary entered the room in a flurry. She told me that the world trade center had been bombed. (Information was a bit spotty in a place with limited internet exposure and no television access - she got her information from the country music station that she could listen to in her room. My room did not pick up many radio stations.) My first response was a simple thought of "again?" The world trade center had been bombed before.

As I heard more about what had happened, my thoughts were varied. I went through dismay, surprise, fear, anger, and disgust. (The disgust was from all of the people here in Kansas who panicked, convinced that we were the next targets that they all had to go to the gas station, waiting in line for 5 hours, and go pick up their children so they would be safe. By the time we started to hear the actual details of the situation, all flights were grounded and there was no way that someone would be able to fly over Kansas to crash into our... what? corn fields??)

My reactions were somewhat different from the reactions of the people that I worked with at that time. My clients (children and adolescents with developmental disabilities and psychiatric disorders) were mainly oblivious to the ramifications of the situation. They did not seem to know what was happening, but their fear was very real. We spent lots of time talking about being safe. We spent time talking about how to contact people if something happened. We acknowledged all feelings and then emphasized the safety of us provided by the airline shut-down and the increased presence of the military. I spent about as much time with my co-workers, calming them down.

A lesson I learned during this whole time is that panic is something that has to be acknowledged, but it really cannot be fixed.

There is no way to fix a person's panic. You have to pay attention to their fears, whether you think they are valid or not. Once you have heard their fears, you can start to help them think through their fears. They have to be the leaders in this process as the only person that can calm a fear is the person him or herself.

I am a therapist which means that I am a helper. I remember the lesson that I learned on September 11, 2001 each and every time that I start to work with a person by addressing fear. I remember that every time I start to develop my own panics and fears.

We sing a song that I learned from John Lithgow's Singing In the Bathtub album. The song is called, Big Kids. The song talks about a small child who is scared by the big kids that he sees at school. He moves through a process where he meets a smaller child who is scared of him. The "A-ha" moment occurs and all of a sudden, the fear is understood. We substitute our own fears into the song, and then develop strategies to help us in the middle of our panic. I always lead the way with my fear of tornadoes. My kids (all mid-westerners at this time) scoff at this fear, but it is very real to me. They help me with my strategy and then we progress into their fears. We pay attention to each other and help each other through situations.

Lesson learned.

Thoughts

2011-09-09T06:16:00.001-05:00

This week has been a week of thinking. Now, just to warn you, my thoughts are not always nicely organized, but they are what they are. Be prepared for a bunch of randomness as ideas bubble to the surface of my brain and out onto the blog...

Abstract concepts are difficult to teach to persons with developmental disabilities. I don't know how many times interns have done the "Play how you feel" therapeutic musical experience just to see it crash and burn as clients play the same way for all emotions. I wish we (we being all of us teachers and supervisors) would stop using this as an example of something to do with adolescents. NOT ALL ADOLESCENTS GET IT! There are SOOO many other good things that adolescents can and will do. Let's stop beating the emotion horse in this particular manner...

I watched The King's Speech last night. I know I am one of the few people who didn't watch it in the theater, but I am glad that I didn't go to the theater to watch it. I cried like a baby throughout the movie. I was a stutterer at age 6. No one knew why I was stuttering until my mom was playing kickball with me in the backyard. I kept backing up and trying to kick the ball with my right foot. Now, I am a STRONGLY left-side dominant person. My mother, who is also left-handed, asked me why I was stopping and kicking with the other foot. I told her I had to since I was getting yelled at school for using my left foot. Apparently the PE teacher was trying to "fix" me by making my use my right side. This was scrambling my oral motor development, and I was stuttering. My mother, a fierce advocate for her children at any time but VERY adamant that their development NOT be messed with (an Occupational Therapist), marched herself down there and ripped the PE teacher a new one. I was allowed to use my left foot, and BEHOLD, the stuttering disappeared (mostly).

Watching the movie, it was amazing to hear of King George VI's "conversion" from lefty to righty as well as the expectations that were placed on him as well as the emotional abuse that he suffered. I was thankful that my mom went as crazy as she did on my behalf. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like as the new kid in school who stuttered. Being the new kid in school 4 times was bad enough.

I am getting ready for a new intern. This intern does not start until January, but I am still getting ready. I do this every time I accept a new one into my program. At this time, I am working on an internship handbook to use with my intern. I am also working on a different handbook that is more general for use in many different National Roster Internship programs. Just a little something to keep myself engaged.

I will be enjoying the sunrise this morning on my way to work.

Random.

I wish that Netflix would post more seasons of television shows to watch instantly. I would watch them, I promise!

Gotta go to work...

Today in my Music Therapy Room...

2011-09-06T17:29:00.000-05:00

This morning started off with a typical first-day-of-the-week thought..."What am I going to do with my students today?"

When I left home to go to the car for my commute, the weather was crisp and cool - a typical autumn day here in Kansas. Inspiration struck! An autumn song would be just the thing!

So, then I spent the commuting time thinking about how and what an autumn song would be.

I finally decided that we would do an Orff improvisation using fall words.

Now, here are the things that I had to consider this morning.

Tuesday's clients are mainly verbal, ambulatory, and more involved on the psychiatric spectrum than on the developmental spectrum. They, as a large group, have difficulties with abstract concepts, so starting an improvisation based on words is not often a successful idea. Today it worked.

I started the session with the opening song that I use often and then asked clients to choose Orff instruments. They then had to assemble the instrument - this is ALWAYS a bit of a tumultuous time for most of the students, even though we do not change the process or the instrument ever. Instruments assembled, we tried them out for a short time before focusing on the word/concept portion of the session.

After a 5-count cut-off, we placed the mallets in their storage places and then started brainstorming words about autumn.

We chose a word and then decided on one characteristic of our music that would help us musically illustrate the word. We played. Repeat with word #2 and #3, but we talked about changing the music somehow to illustrate that we had 3 different concepts.

FOR THE FIRST TIME, MY CLIENTS WERE ABLE TO DO THIS AS A GROUP!!!!!!!!

I sat in awe, listening to the musical products that these students were producing. They were able to change their music with prompts from me. They all seemed to remember how to alter their playing to illustrate the words they had chosen.

I found myself thinking about improvisation while I was driving home. My students often have difficulty with improvising.

While I was driving home, I heard an article about a cello player, Zoe Keating.

http://www.npr.org/2011/09/06/140069246/zoe-keating-a-symphony-unto-herself

The article shared how Ms. Keating had difficulty with stagefright and trying to be perfect when performing. She started to speak about how she felt less pressure to be perfect when she was improvising and has now made an entire recording career out of her music.

Lightbulb! My students often refuse to do things and share that they don't want to do things wrong. A messed up worksheet often causes tantrums and destruction.

In music, I often have the most success with client improvisation when I tell them that there is no wrong. There is no wrong way to play. There is no wrong way to color. There is no wrong way to make choices. This often frees the client to try things. It also is freeing for me.

I try to live what I tell others...

Updates...

2011-09-04T07:03:00.000-05:00

I spent a bunch of time in a medication haze this week, so things kinda got away from me. Here are some updates to what happened in my music therapy room this week...

This week we used novelty instruments. These are the instruments that I keep in the far back reaches of my cabinets. They are assorted shakers, loud obnoxious instruments, and things that are not easily replaced. I bring them out infrequently since one instrument gets broken every session. We played these instruments, tried everything out, checked long-term memory with Kim's Game, and practiced our social skills when it was time to trade.

My individual sessions were very good this week. I had to discontinue treatment for one young woman who no longer participates in music therapy interventions. She has decided that music is a time to engage in inappropriate sexual stimulation. I can now use her time for a student who will participate. All of my other individuals really started to click this week. I had approached the week with some trepidation due to the fact that several of my clients did not appear to be interested in music therapy last week. This week, all of those folks started to interact with me through the music.

"Q" took over the fast/slow playing that I had modeled in the previous session. He played, and I moved this week. We giggled and communicated. Other students started playing instruments in lessons, started songwriting, and started to make a music video starring themselves! Things are hopping down in the music therapy room.

This was a week that reinforced the importance of music as a therapeutic medium for children and adolescents with developmental disorders and concurrent psychiatric concerns. Even when I was bit by a client (who REALLY did not want to leave the music therapy room), I still felt that the benefit of the music therapy session outweighed the big old bruise on my forearm.

It was also a good week for music therapy advocacy in my facility. I had visits from school district representatives and my own administrators during sessions. I received an email from my principal about my work with our students - it was complimentary which was unusual.

What a good week.

2011-08-27T15:54:00.000-05:00

Through the Haze

Seasonal allergies have struck my respiratory system. I have succumbed to corn harvesting season and have had to take my big allergy meds. These are the ones that knock me down for a good 24-hours, keep me drowsy, and accentuate my Meniere's disease vertigo. When I have to start this medication, I have to plan it very carefully. Today is the day.

The way I feel when medicated gives me a small amount of insight into how my students must feel when their psychotropic meds kick in. There are those side effects that are sometimes worth it, but sometimes those effects are more difficult to handle than the condition. I know several things about my medication effects - first, they are temporary. When my body is accustomed to the medication, the side effects will diminish. Second, my need for medication is temporary - once the first frost shows up, my allergy set will change and this level of medication will not be necessary. My students do not get a reprieve or even a choice in what and how they will take their medication - they just have to do so.

My medication haze illustrates to me that my clients have to deal with these types of symptoms daily. It is no wonder that some kids require lots of prompting to respond and others cannot sit still for a moment. Chemistry can help, but it also changes things internally.

As a music therapist, I am constantly reminded of the effect of medication on my students. They often have medication changes as our psychologist attempts to find the best combination of medication and therapy to assist the students in addressing their goal areas. We often have kids who are adjusting to one medication while being weaned off another med. Their presence in the music therapy session often varies - and it's not really a big surprise why if my body goes into such a dramatic change on less than a hundredth of what they take daily.

It is important for a therapist to acknowledge the effect of medication on clients. It is more important to continue to engage the client in treatment despite the effect. When I see changes in behavior patterns, I inquire about medication changes to assist me in figuring out the reason for the changes. I still need to be the most effective therapist that I can be. Knowing that a student may not be able to focus on directions due to a change in his brain chemistry is essential information for the therapist and the student. The therapist then needs to change her expectations and therapy format to accommodate the change and to continue to challenge the client in progressing towards his goals.

Better living through chemistry...with things to think about...for the client and the therapist...internal changes that overcome external stimuli.

Hmmm....

2011-08-24T06:12:00.000-05:00

Deep Thoughts...

Yesterday, my administrator attempted to be inspiring. She had been involved in an accident a couple of days before and really found it to be a life-changing experience. She felt that we needed to share in her inspiration and change our lives as well. I found myself musing on the nature of inspiration and how it is presented to others.

I think of myself as an intelligent, creative, and somewhat spiritual person. I am able to be rational in the middle of emotional situations. I feel that I am a person who can be inspired by many things - big and small situations and events that occur in my life.

One of the things that I found myself thinking while she spoke about her life-altering experience was, "I'm glad she was able to assist the folks who needed help, and she seems to have had a bit of a change in attitude." I was glad that she had experienced such a profound event and that everyone was fine.

Then, she started to talk about using her experience as inspiration for us all. This I found difficult.

She used her experience to tell us that we should not react to her requests or thoughts. "Life is too short to worry about 10 additional minutes of the workday. Why argue? Just do it."

This was where I had to start tuning out. Her inspiration was going to have to trump any of the inspiration that I have had over the years that causes me to advocate for my profession and my clients?? Why??

Now, I understand that an inspirational moment has great strength for the person who is experiencing the moment. I also think that inspiration is not something that has great power when served as a left-over. I understand the thought of life being too short to worry about little things, but who decides what the little things are? Something little for one person may be MONUMENTAL for me!

I have been inspired by her inspiration to continue to express my own needs in a way that expresses what I need to have to be an effective music therapist for my clients.

2011-08-22T18:08:00.001-05:00

Do Over...

Today is a day I wish I could do over.

There really wasn't anything bad about the day, but there wasn't anything spectacular about it, either. My first two session were with kids who did not connect with me or with the music easily. It was like pulling teeth to get them to interact with me and with the music, but it was nearly impossible for interaction with both!

My four groups were fine. Kids participated in all experiences without issues. They appeared to enjoy singing about the weather, the rhythm wheel experiences, all things from opening through closing. Kids just seemed a bit "off."

Now, my analytical self starts to try to figure out what went wrong today. We had stormy weather blow in and out of the area, it is the second week of school, and all of us seemed cranky. I am going to chalk this up to a convergence of many different factors.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and start a day over again.

2011-08-20T11:09:00.002-05:00

Artistic Endeavors

I am trying to make something for the AMTA Silent Auction. I have never donated something before, and I am trying an altered book about music. We will see if I get it finished, and if it actually sells at the auction.

Right now, the book has been covered with paper and is awaiting frou-frou and quotations about music. I have been trying to do a green theme - I really like green, and it seems like a good choice for the book. I can use all of my green papers and ink.

I was reading a blog entry for a fellow music therapist who stated that she did not enjoy making visual aids for her sessions. I found that difficult to understand. I LOVE making visuals - the more complicated the better for me! Seeing these comments made me think about how nice it is that there are therapists who do like making visuals and those that are good at networking and marketing. We are all different on so many ways - we have different talents and skills. This is one thing that makes music therapy such a rich profession.

So, Michelle, keep on making your bags, and I will keep making visual aids. Maybe we can share sometime.

2011-08-17T05:26:00.000-05:00

The Therapeutic Relationship

Yesterday was a good day for therapeutic relationship building. It is a nice thing when my nonverbal clients with diagnoses on the Autism Spectrum start to associate me with what I do.

Yesterday, 15 minutes before we were going to dismiss students to the residences, I took a student back to her classroom after her individual session. We had spent the time singing with the microphones, and she appeared to enjoy the session. We danced back to her classroom down the hallway and entered her room. One of her classmates (the "Q" from before) walked up to me, looked at me, and then walked over to the nearest picture schedule, found the "music" card, and handed it to me.

This is the same "Q" who, 9 months ago, did not display ANY communicative or interactive behaviors at all...with anyone.

I couldn't take him to the music room right then to reinforce the communicative behavior. There was no time before shift change, but I did spend some time with him in his classroom. We jumped, whistled, and made sounds for 15 minutes. He followed me around the room, holding my hands, and vocalizing. We quickly established that an upward slide whistle was a signal to jump up and a descending whistle was a signal to crouch down and get ready to jump. We played. We had fun. When he left to get his kazoo that he made in art, I left the classroom as well.

The things that "Q" has taught me over the past three months are very valuable to me as a therapist. He has shown me that individual music therapy sessions are more effective in accomplishing many therapeutic goals for children with severe autistic involvement. Group therapy has its place, but individual therapy also has value. This continues to provide justification for the big switch from group focus to increased individual focus at my facility.

"Q" has also taught me lots of other things. It is wonderful to know that a child with an abysmal history of abuse and neglect can and will thrive once in a place that can offer security, frequent and regular meals, and patient care giving. The importance of treatment in general is exemplified in the progress of this young man.

"Q" also reminds me that learning is fun, behavior is communication, and communication is a form of behavior.

It is now time to go back to work. "Q" will come to music twice today - once as a member of his classroom group, and once on his own. I wonder what he will teach me today...

2011-08-15T05:47:00.000-05:00

Anticipation...

Today is the first day of the Fall session of school. I think I am ready for most of what will happen today, including some routine things and some brand-new experiences for myself and my students. We will see.

One of the new things that I want to do with my first big group today is a shift from the regular turn-taking opening intervention. This group of students does not "group" well. Several of the students do not feel comfortable sitting in the group's traditional circle, so they end up scattered around the room in no particular pattern. This goes against my need for organization, but I would rather be a bit needy and have them feel comfortable in the session than insist that they conform to my needs - after all, who is the therapist and who is client in this situation?? I am going to put the guitar down and use a drum for interaction. I hope that we will have a time of rhythm improvisation during the opening portion of the session, but we will see. After that, I have no plans for our interactions.

Over the years, I have used session planning on varying levels. I strive to be client-directed and try to teach that skill to my interns as well. It is important that the therapist not insist on his/her agenda to the exclusion of the wants, needs, wishes of the client. As an undergraduate in music therapy, I used to write detailed session plans that ended up being treated as scripts. I had a music therapy supervisor who would sit in the observation room and check off when I completed portions of the plan. If I varied my plan in ANY way, she would ask me to justify the changes. I often could do so. For example, I was working with preschoolers who had been labeled as "at-risk" for behavior disorders and would often rearrange the elements of my session to accommodate their behavior states. Three year-olds do not often fall into the nice plan that their therapists arrange. I think the result was better therapy and was allowed to continue in that mode as long as I could explain my rationale.

These days, we seem to turn out music therapy interns that can write a session plan but cannot deviate from that plan easily. As soon as clients go towards another thought or experience, novice interns are stuck trying to guide the clients back to "the plan." Accepting this a part of their developmental process, I allow this security blanket for a short portion of time, but soon challenge them to become more "strategy-focused" as a way to reaching my end goal of "client-focused" therapists. We start the thinking process by writing down Therapeutic Music Experiences - as many as possible, with a minimum of 75 at the end of the first four months. We parse those experiences for possible goals, materials, instruments, musical outcomes, therapeutic outcomes, and processes. We discuss how the experience will change if musical elements are changed. We make targeted observation goals for the intern to watch me during sessions and for me to observe in the intern. We break the script habit at about month 4 for good.

My planning is often just one focus experience that I use with all of my groups. I may decide that this week is an Orff instrument week. Every group will use the Orff instruments in some way. This allows me to have some structure, but also allows me to use music in a therapeutic manner, by changing the musical structure to accommodate differences in clients' behavior states. I try to think of all the materials that I need to get out before the session begins, but don't restrict myself to only the things that are out if clients need something different. I try to anticipate what will be needed, but don't always hit the mark.

As I get dressed for the first day of a new school year, I am anticipating the promise of a new start on this 19th year of professional practice. I am thrilled by the opportunity to be a therapist (not just a supervisor) for the first half of the year, and I am looking forward to my next intern who will arrive in January. I anticipate that this year will be one of challenges, joys, despairs, and laughter. I am ready.

Anticipation fills me as I walk out the door.

Happy New Year, everyone!!

2011-08-14T06:31:00.000-05:00

Welcome Back and Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

I am a school therapist, so my life is very much dependent upon the ebb and flow of the school year. August always seems much more like a new beginning to me than January. So, every year about this time, I start to think about my goals for the new year. I make resolutions about my professional life and then try to obtain those resolutions. This year is no different.

This year, I will strive to do the following:

FINISH my schooling
Make long-term decisions about my future as a music therapist - here in Kansas or somewhere else completely
Become a pre-approved CMTE provider through CBMT
Develop new interventions for children and adolescents with developmental and psychiatric concerns - use them in sessions, and then give them to others
Avoid toxic people in my environment
Find interesting people to interact with outside of work time
Act as an appropriate music therapy internship supervisor
Maintain appropriate communication with other music therapy internship supervisors out there in the world
Sing new songs
Listen
Breathe
Learn

Lots to do.

As a therapist, I strongly believe in balance. My resolutions often reflect my hope for balance in my own life - professional obligations balanced with personal needs. That balance is often elusive, but very important to me.

I often feel that my clients do not have the opportunity to find balance in their lives. They are children in the eyes of the law, have been taken away from their homes, and do not get much choice in matters that concern them. I try to offer them some choice in how they participate in music therapy sessions. It always distresses me when a classroom paraeducator insists that a student participates in music therapy sessions. I do not allow that to continue because I feel that participation should be a choice. Now, having said that, I generally wait for the child to refuse, and then I get out his favorite instrument and insist that he follow directions to get the instrument, but that opportunity to choose is a method of balancing his needs to be a child/teenager and my need to provide the therapy I am paid to provide. I find that a bit of defiance is healthy for me as well as for my client as it forces me to remain client-directed and aware of the things that my client communicates to me through the music therapy session.

Balance.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope your year is filled with happy thoughts and challenges that make you become a better therapist!

2011-08-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

A Return to the Electronic World

Approximately 90 minutes after my last post on this blog, my computer had a MAJOR CPU (central processing unit) meltdown and stopped working. This CPU failure led to 5 days of electronic detoxification as the computer had to go to Houston to be repaired, and I wasn't going to go to work simply to use the computer there (it really wasn't worth the gasoline or the time to go there). On Wednesday, I did go back to work for the school year orientation and found that the world went on without me.

Today, when I got the repaired computer back, I eagerly went back online. I went to Facebook, reviewed my email accounts, and then started to scroll through my favorite sites. I spent some time trolling through the blogs of music therapists and music therapy interns that are linked to many other blogs. It was an interesting exercise in the history of music therapy professionals.

I read the blogs of current music therapy interns (all from Florida State, interestingly enough - it must be an assignment). I remember that excitement. The first-day jitters or going to the internship setting - would I like it? Would they like me? Would I even want to be a music therapist when I was done? I remember my relief when my supervisors seemed to enjoy me and my skills as a novice therapist. I enjoy looking back over my journal, my session plans, and my assignments from my practica and my internship. I enjoy seeing myself from my new perspective of practiced therapist.

I also look at the blogs of therapists who are younger in the world and the profession than myself. Many times, their blog entries are about things that I have also gone through as a therapist. There aren't many therapists my age who are blogging, but I am also a fan of a couple of therapists who are my age or just a bit older. I enjoy reading their blogs as an indication of where I can go in my professional life.

Get out there. Look at the resources that are available to us as therapists. We are no longer alone in the world, especially when we can connect electronically at the blink of an eye. When I was a beginning therapist, I spent much of my time as the only music therapist. I could connect with others via mail or the telephone, but instant connection was not possible. Now, I can ask a question on the music therapy listserve and get twenty answers within five minutes. This amazes me.

I enjoy being in a global community of music therapists. I do not often take advantage of this, but I like knowing that I am one of many in the world who use music to affect change in the lives of ourselves and others. Thank goodness for these connections - all through electronic means! I am back in cyberspace and ready to connect!! Are you out there?

2011-08-05T10:34:00.000-05:00

Finishing the Relaxation Part of the Summer

I have four days of fall break left before I return to the daily routine of the school year.

Today it is raining outside. This is the first time that rain has actually fallen on my little home since I started break some 14 days ago. The change in the atmosphere is wonderful, and I am finally feeling like autumn is coming sometime in the future.

Tomorrow I get to go to the Office Depot Star Teacher appreciation breakfast for some stale donuts, a bag full of goodies, and the chance to win a drawing. I NEVER win, but I always try. I will spend some money on ink cartridges for the computer and for some other things that I really do not need, but want. Last year I had a migraine headache come on as I was waiting for the drawing results. I am hoping that doesn't happen this year.

So, what does this have to do with anything but the "me" part of this blog??

I feel strongly that music therapists often do not have an awareness of the essential need for self-care. (I think this may be one of the reasons why we have many young professionals who leave the profession for other situations.) We, helping type folks that we are, often neglect our own need to be helped. For me, one of the best things I can do to be helped, refreshed, renewed, and re-energized, I like time to become bored with being home and away from people.

My pool of thought has been refilled with the past two weeks away from work.

I have made plans for my therapy sessions over the next several months. I also have spent time thinking about all aspects of my life. I have made things ready for laminating for use in my sessions. I have organized parts of my life. I have determined that my predilection towards being a pack rat is part of my need to control my environment (Thanks, Hoarders!). Snark!

The end of vacation is always a good time for me. I love my job. I love my students, my sessions, most of my co-workers, and the things that I get to do during my regular work as a music therapist. I am ready to go back into my work with children and adolescents. I also am ready to spend time with students who scream, pull hair, hit others, and spend lots of time engaged in oppositional behavior. With the time that I have had away from my job, I am ready to jump in with both feet again. All the way into the deep end.

So, only four more days until I get to be an active music therapist again.

I can't wait!

2011-07-29T15:26:00.000-05:00

Ennui

My life as a school-based music therapist is generally one of routine and constant thinking. I spend lots of time each day analyzing behaviors and adjusting musical interventions to shift behaviors. I have a certain amount of interpersonal contact during the day, and enjoy going home to refresh in solitude.

I am an introvert to the highest degree. I really need alone time in order to get ready to interact with others. This alone time helps me to think about what I do each day as well as to pursue activities that I love.

My problem currently is vacation. I spend lots of time on vacation alone. This is a good thing, for a time, but eventually I need to be around people. Now, I have been around people, but I don't have friends in my town. All of my friends live away from here, so I am not able to see them when I want to do so. I go out to the theater, to the movies, to the shops to be around folks.

I am bored. I need opportunities to be bored. Once I hit this stage, I start to look around my home, and I start to make plans about what I will do with my music therapy clients when I get back into the full-time routine. I am to that point now with 10 days of vacation left to go.

There are many things that I should/could do at this time, but I am not motivated to do any of them. I am reveling in my boredom, but am also chafing against it.

I need a problem to solve.

Let's look around my current environment to see if there is a problem that engages my interest.

Hmmm. I am currently sitting at my desk, watching television. I have some music therapy texts within reach, a weather bear waiting to be cut out and Velcroed, my SPSS texts, and electronic bits and pieces. My digital camera is within reach, and I have an adaptive cuff that I made out of plastic canvas.

So, thoughts on how to keep myself from escaping into the morass and depression of boredom based on the materials within reach right now...

The music therapy texts are out. I don't want to get involved in reading Gaston, Bruscia, Jorgenson (actually, a Music Ed text), or other theoretical writings right now. I am not in that type of mood.

Weather Bear is definitely a possibility. I made a large version of a file folder Weather Bear that I developed. The finished bear will be about 2' tall with a variety of clothing options to illustrate different ways to dress to accommodate weather conditions. I can use some of my scrapbooking papers to make some funky clothing for my bear. This could work and would keep me entertained while I watch old tv shows. I'll post a picture when I'm done with the Weather Bear. I'll also post the plan on how to use the material as a music therapy experience.

Thanks for reading as I put this together. Tomorrow, I will be cleaning out my bedroom so I can steam clean the carpet in there. Doesn't that sound like fun??

2011-07-26T06:44:00.000-05:00

Looking Around

I'm into vacation mode right now, so I'm spending lots of time thinking about my music therapy practice. I enjoy this time off - it's one of the best perks about being a school-based music therapist - and try to use them as periods of time to refresh my creativity as well as to organize things.

I am currently trying to organize my intellectual "bag 'o' tricks."

Over the years, I have been collecting ideas of things to do with my clients. This habit was started by my professor during my undergraduate education who required a file of applications for my second ever music therapy class. I continued the pattern and habit throughout my 18 years of clinical work and practice. I have a shoebox full of note cards that contain music, ideas, half-finished thoughts, and things that I like. Now, when my interns started to go high-tech and place their Therapeutic Music Experience (TME) file on the computer, I decided it was time to abandon my cards and use the computer as well. I am now playing "catch-up" by scanning all of my cards into the computer.

As I take breaks from scanning cards, I am also continuing my quest to organize my life and all the stuff that I have collected over the years. It is amazing what I have stashed away in boxes and containers over my practice.

All of this, of course, is a way to avoid writing my research papers, a task that I MUST complete this week. I think I am almost ready to start my next round of revisions, but I am not completely sure.

Anyway...

Today's tasks are to scan the "B" section of my card box and sort the four boxes of novelty instruments into categories for taking to work, leaving at home, and using with specific clients. Then, the results section of the SCANS paper...

2011-07-22T08:40:00.000-05:00

That Perfect Music Therapy Moment

There are times when the therapeutic triad comes together into a perfect music therapy moment. If you are lucky, you can see the pieces come together to form that moment. If you are lucky, you can track how the moment starts and replicate it at a different time. I had the privilege of having such a moment this week.

For consistency's sake, I will be referring to all of my clients by the initial "Q." I have chosen the letter "Q" because of its long status of neglect when it comes to names. There just aren't that many "Q" names. So, I hereby christen all of my future references to my clients as "Q."

So, "Q" transitioned to the music therapy room without an issue. He hummed and chirped the way he always does, entered the room, and got out the spinning chair. He has fallen into a routine of manipulating my musical product (improvisatory) using movements of the chair. "Q" recognizes that I change the music when he changes something about his own movement in the chair. For a kid who did not engage in ANY active communication behaviors just 4 months ago, we are making progress!

He was spinning, and I decided that I did not want to sit at the piano. I wanted to change our dynamic a bit, so I picked up the guitar and sat closer to "Q" than I ever have before. He kept looking over at me while I strummed. Rather than changing my musical pattern when he changed direction, I started stopping the guitar strum when he stopped his movement. I used a slap-stop on the strings, producing a percussive sound. (I am sure that there is a more technical term for the slap-stop, but I don't know it.)

He started giggling. Every time he would stop, I would slap-stop, he would look at me, and the giggling started. We carried on this way - stop, slap, eye contact, giggle - for quite a while.

Then, suddenly, he changed the game.

All of a sudden, I found myself in a new interaction with "Q" and the music. He started freezing until I slap-stopped a second time. He gave me some of the power that I have given him over the past two months (the length of time that we have been in individual treatment sessions together). We laughed for the entire session, and neither of us wanted to leave when our time was up.

I was struck by his generosity in allowing me to have some more control over our interactions. This was the first time that "Q" ever treated me as more than just a music source and keeper of the spinning chair. We played. We connected. We shared a perfect music therapy moment that we recall every time I do a double slap-stop on the guitar.

Next session, it's his turn to play.

2011-07-14T05:08:00.000-05:00

Sometimes Things Don't Work Out

There are times when things just don't go as planned...at all.

I had a day like that last Friday. I was already tired but everything else did not go as planned either. Kids were cranky, I was cranky, and I ended up crying all the way home.

I don't know what was at work, but on days like that I spend lots of time trying to figure out what I did wrong.

This week has been better. Sessions have flowed smoothly, even though some of the students have been pretty wild. People screamed all day yesterday, until they started laughing hysterically. It was strange, and not at all what I expected.

I am a big proponent of the THERAPEUTIC TRIAD. (Did you hear a trumpet fanfare when you read that? I heard one when I wrote it! Does that make me a music therapy geek??) I firmly believe that the therapist, the music, and the client work together in order to create a therapeutic environment. There are days when my contribution to the session is minimal. There are days when I try so hard to pull the other two elements in my direction that I am not an effective therapist.

The trick is finding balance between all three elements of the triad in order to participate in the most authentic therapeutic exchange. The client and the music should be the two most important parts of the experience. The therapist contributes, but the therapist should not be taking over all of the music while expecting the client to just go along.

I expect that my sessions that have gone all wonky lately have been due to a disconnect between my plans for clients and their own plans for music. I have spent time watching and listening to my clients as they make music this week. I have tried to pull away from "guiding" and have just experienced.

Many times, I think new professionals have the concept that the therapist has to know what is going to happen through the entire session. Hence the focus on session planning rather than improvisation in many plans. I have grown in my intervention styles and find that I can plan strategies rather than specific interventions for sessions. It is more genuine and authentic when I plan to observe behavior patterns and link them into an iso-principle experience rather than charting all of the songs that I am going to sing.

When I consciously take a strategy method to sessions, I feel that the sessions are more beneficial to my clients. I just have to be reminded every once in a while that I am not the center of the universe...or the music therapy session.

2011-07-06T05:28:00.000-05:00

Yoga and the 41-year old Body

I am not someone who shies away from my actual age. I am proud of being 41, and I tell people my age when asked. I am not one of those people who wish to go back to high school to do it again.

Having said all that, I am trying to improve my health through changes in my diet and exercise patterns. I would like to be around for much longer than these 41 years that I have had.

My new exercise of choice is yoga. I like the philosophy of breathing, self-awareness, and stretching that permeates the discipline of yoga.

Now, let me be completely honest with you. I am VERY overweight and need to lose about 80 pounds before I am EVER considered sleek and toned. I have chronic asthma, allergies of all kinds, and strange medical issues popping out all over and through my body on a regular basis. So, exercise regimes have not been very successful for me in the past. By the time I get into a routine, I get very sick or sprain something or have an asthma attack and am advised not to continue.

I decided on yoga because it is something that I can start on my own without having to go to a class full of perky aerobic goddesses. I have three yoga DVDs that are starting me off in an abbreviated manner. Yogi Marlon is about my age, has a soothing voice, and offers me practical tips for putting myself into the positions that she recommends.

Last night was my first session in a long time. I set out the yoga mat (much to the surprise of my cat) and started the DVD. Yogi Marlon and I lasted for 17 minutes of breathing, stretching, and balancing. Oh, did I mention my diagnosis of Meniere's Disease which affects my balance? Another reason to try yoga with an emphasis on balance in all areas of my life. The cat joined me on the mat for some perfect Cat poses (show-off) and to watch me as I tried to do the same.

I ended up sleeping deeply throughout the night and woke up still tired, but able to move pretty well. It is amazing how I can feel many of my muscles that were just muscles yesterday but today are demanding to be noticed!

The yoga mat will come out again tonight. I'm hoping to make it through 20 minutes of the workout this evening. I know that the breathing techniques (remarkably similar to those that I use with my students to assist them in attention to task and calming) are filling my brain and body with oxygen, increasing my blood flow, and helping me with my asthma. I will continue my quest to become more healthy and will continue my yoga practice. We will see how it starts to affect me and my music therapy practice.

2011-07-01T15:17:00.001-05:00

Back to Self-Esteem

I continue to have feelings of inadequacy surrounding myself and my profession choices. I look at people and think, "I should be doing that." I need to submerse myself in what I am able to do and what I do better than anyone else!

So, here goes.

I am a creative person. I enjoy making things with my hands and watching others use those things.

I love the effect of music on behavior. I am good at finding the music that will help people get to their goals.

I am a good supervisor. I help my students get to entry-level professionalism by blending my wishes with their wishes. I can see their skills realistically and can get them to the next level of development.

There are many things that stand in the way of becoming the best person that I can be.

I can be jealous. I work on this continuously.

I hold grudges.

I take on more than I can feasibly do at any one time.

I want to do it all!

There are many more things that I need to work on throughout my existence here.

I will do so.

2011-06-27T08:14:00.000-05:00

Brought Down By a Bug...or Something

So, I woke up early this morning with a very upset stomach. I took some antacid and went back to sleep. waking up several times during the rest of the night for more antacids.

This morning, I got up with every intention of going to work. My stomach was upset, and the illness seemed to transfer down into the intestines as well. I tried very hard to get to work today. I even got to my car and about 3 miles away from home before the stomach stuff reared its ugly head, and I felt that I could not face an hour's drive feeling nauseous.

Now, I am a person who firmly believes that you should stay home if you are sick. If you are in any way contagious, then you have a responsibility to others to keep your germs to yourself. (I don't think I'm contagious, by the way.)

I decided that there needed to be some time to sit and try to stay quiet today rather than attempting to sing with my mouth open, breathing on my clients.

I hope it will be a quiet day at work. I worry when I am not there that I will be on a very long list. This list will be long because there are many folks gone on vacation this week. I knew that this morning which is why I tried to go in to work. I also worry about my equipment being used by folks who do not know how much it costs to replace said equipment.

Self-care for the therapist is something that most of my interns do not know about when they get to me. We discuss it often during their internships, especially when interns appear to be stressed out with their assignments. We talk about the need to take time to take care of yourself. We talk about being realistic as human beings - we are not perfect, and we need to recognize this fact in order to be effective therapists.

I have seen many good therapists burn out of the therapy profession because of unrealistic expectations of themselves as ubertherapists. They appear to believe that that they have to do everything for everyone perfectly all of the time.

Now, I tend to be one of those people. I am more likely to do something that someone asks me to do than to say "no" to their request. I have always tried to do things perfectly - I am a perfectionist, but I have learned the hard way that I cannot achieve perfection in all things. I can only do the best I can.

On days like these, my body sends a very strong message to my perfectionistic personality.

STOP!!

I have learned that it is better to address these issues when they first rear their ugly heads than it is to try to ignore them. If you ignore issues, they start to grow, kinda like a monster in a nightmare.

So, I am home today, writing this blog entry, trying to calm my upset intestinal tract, taking the very strong hints that my body is giving to me. Taking this time now will make me a better therapist tomorrow.

2011-06-25T20:22:00.000-05:00

I wonder...

What is so difficult about behaving ethically?

I am peripherally involved in a situation where a music therapist has behaved unethically in both her therapeutic services and in her professional relationships. The situation is ridiculous to say the least. None of the things that have happened are things that should have happened.

I am human. I make mistakes and have to apologize on a pretty regular basis. I sometimes snap when I should think, and I often rush into things that I shouldn't.

I try to be ethical in my dealings with others, not only in the professional world, but also in my personal life. This attitude comes not only from my ethical training, but also from my morals and upbringing. I was taught to think about the feelings of others. I was taught to see beyond myself and to see how my actions could affect the lives of other people.

I think it is a societal epidemic that people are out for number one and only number one. The issue seems to be that people think they should get what they want when they want without regard to what others want or need.

"Who cares if this hurts someone else. I will get what I want and that is okay." This attitude is prevalent in my clients, children and adolescents with developmental and psychiatric disorders, but is also becoming more prevalent in general society. We seem to be back into an egotistical, feel-good cultural epidemic that makes it easy to justify bombing people who live where we want to live, get what we want whenever we want it, and to threaten people if they do not do what we want them to do.

How can you ever justify taking something from another person? How can you ever think that bullying another human being would be acceptable? How can you defend a position that you can tell others what to do without doing the same yourself?

Why?

My pledge is that I will re-read the AMTA Code of Ethics this month. I will strive to act ethically in all of my dealings with my co-workers as well as with my clients. I will do what is right, even when others do not.

Will you make a similar pledge?

2011-06-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

Constant Assessment

During music therapy sessions, I often find myself assessing everything that is going on...music, client responses, my responses, sounds, communication, movement, breathing, and the environment.

I believe, in order to be a good music therapist, a clinician has to be shifting and changing all the time. This is true within the session as well as outside the session. Anytime a therapist feels that he or she can predict what is coming next, he or she is falling into a trap. The one thing that I know without fail is that clients will surprise you every time.

Every time I start to feel like I can predict what a client's response to music will be, the client reacts counter to how I expect. This is a wonderful reminder of how to remain client-centered at all times and keeps me on my toes. The joy of being in the moment of the musicking overcomes all of the plans that I make. When I relax and am truly client-centered, the music experience is profound.

2011-06-18T09:26:00.000-05:00

Online Conference for Music Therapy 2012

We had our first organizing committee meeting today. I am NOT the co-chair. This is a good thing since I cannot give as much attention to this situation as it needs. I will continue to be in the financial end of things (this has been a learning experience that I am gleaning much from) but will have some help - Thank goodness!

We do not have a theme, but we did narrow the time of the conference down to a month in 2012. Now we are going to start the process of planning. Keep us in your thoughts as we sally forth...

2011-06-17T14:11:00.000-05:00

Second Week

The second week of summer school is typically more difficult than the first. During the first week, everyone is happy to get back into the routine of classes, lessons, sessions, and swimming. Getting up early is not a problem since we get to go to school!

By the second week, getting up on time has lost its novelty. School is no longer fun but a chore again. Kids are cranky when they have to wake up at 7:15.

This week marked the start of adaptive music lessons in the music room. Kids came from many of the classrooms to learn about piano, drums, guitar, and music video making. I reserve these experiences for my higher functioning, more verbal students. They are not eligible for individual therapy since they are able to verbally process the information presented in art therapy (I know, it's a confusing situation, but that's the way things are at my facility). Everyone seems to enjoy music therapy, though, so I open my room up to students who are more likely to learn some music theory and instrument skills. We work on very basic skills.

My individual sessions also continued. These are with lower functioning clients who do not verbally process. I love these sessions. Students direct the musical intervention, and I direct the therapeutic intervention. I spent some time this week playing the piano, recorder, trombone, and organ. In addition, I watched Blame it on the Samba and Little Toot from Disney's Melody Time. I figured out how to make a master schedule for my principal and avoided her as much as possible (she drives me crazy!).

I ended the week feeling more frustrated than last week. This is a typical response. I am also hormonal, arthritic, and it was a full moon.

Next week I will write goals and objectives for all of my individual and lesson clients. These will be in addition to the goals that each student has for group music therapy sessions. I will also design a bulletin board for the front school entrance, keep up with documentation, play music, and make things for my clinic. It will be a good week, especially since it is only 4 days long. What a treat!

2011-06-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

First Week - Jitters and Joys!

This was the first week of summer school and a radical change in my treatment strategy for my students. For eight months now, I have been on a crusade to provide my clients with more individualized therapy services. The crusade was interrupted by a personnel squabble. I have prevailed and have now been able to decrease the amount of time that students spend in music therapy groups. I had my first week of individual sessions.

The week started off with a whimper. Don't you love it when people don't bother to read their emails carefully? Teacher 1 frog-marched a kid down to the music room for a session and then had to march him back again. Lessons did not start this week, as shared in not one, not two, but THREE different emails! Now, teacher 1 tends to be very concerned about her own details, but not as interested in information from another. Most of the other sessions went off without a hitch.

I had an internship applicant who arrived on Tuesday for her audition. This applicant does not have any kind of professional clue - she stated that she was going to be my intern rather than expressing interest, called me by an incorrect name, asked for an application and then told me that she already had a copy. She overreached during her audition piece - messed up barre chords and got flustered - I'm not sure about her. She did come up with some insights into several of my students which is a plus in the audition category.

I saw 75 students in group treatment and 21 students in individual/dyad sessions this week. I learned more about my students in individual treatment sessions than I have during their group treatments. We played drums, guitars, and the pianos. We listened to music, sang all kinds of songs, played games, and talked about our preferences. Students started to indicate emotions through musical play. One student was spinning in a chair, fell over, and came over to the piano when cued. He started to bang on the piano. I echoed and expanded on his banging, and he started to change and shape his play to match mine. This is a student who does not communicate anywhere - he has started to communicate in music.

Today I made a mandala about my week - here it is.

2011-06-07T17:22:00.000-05:00

Back to the Grind

I went back to work this morning ready to get started. I arrived at work an hour early (not really all that unusual for me) and got ready to go. The maintenance department cleaned the carpet during the break, so things were not quite in the right place. I spent some time putting things back and then tackled the 109 emails that had been sent to me. I got ready for the day and went out to get kids off the bus.

Kids got off the bus with big grins - typical for the first day back to school - and walked in without a problem. I finished bus room and went back to the music room. Recently, the principal has decided that the data that we currently take as part of our treatment is not enough, so I received my own spiral notebook (illegal, by the way) so I can take additional data.

Now, I am all for data collection, but there needs to be some reason for taking the data. That has not been explained and all of the hoopla is an invented situation to keep a "favorite" on staff. I find this sort of thing to be a waste of my time as a therapist and will probably not use the book as I am supposed to. Oh well.

Anyway, back to my day.

I had five individual sessions with students who had never been in individual treatment with me before. Most of these students were kids on the autism spectrum who have significant communication deficits. I did some improvisation on the piano to reflect what they were doing in the room. Some students started to engage with me musically, playing the piano or moving in patterns to make specific music patterns.

My intern applicant seemed to think that things were pretty cool. I think I will probably offer her the internship, but we will see.

2011-06-06T07:59:00.000-05:00

Back to Work

Tomorrow I go back to work after a nice, long vacation. I have spent the 18 days of break just relaxing. This has been a good break. Long enough to get bored with not being around people and ready to get back into the daily routine of therapy.

Tomorrow will be a day full of new experiences. I have significantly changed my schedule and treatment format from the schedule I have had for the past 6 years to what it was when I first arrived at the facility where I work. I will be increasing my individual and small group treatment and decreasing my group treatments. This pleases me greatly, but it does present some challenges.

My clientele has changed in the past four years. The students that attend my school are primarily children who are dually diagnosed. They have a developmental disability such as autism spectrum disorder or intellectual disability and an additional diagnosis on the psychiatric spectrum. The students are more actively aggressive than the students of five-six years ago. The length of stay is shorter, requiring more intensive treatment in a shorter period of time.

I have felt that group treatment has been adequate, but not as effective as individual interaction with my students. There is something about being engaged in a 1:1 interaction with a client that is more appropriate than a 15:1 interaction.

When my treatment format changes, everything changes. My goal and objective requirements have changed. I have to justify why I choose the students that receive individual treatment to the powers that be. I also have to rearrange my treatment area to accommodate individuals - increased opportunities for communication of wants and needs, new routines, ways to challenge students to experiment with music, and many other things.

This is my last day of vacation. I am going to spend it getting ready to go back to work tomorrow. I have several projects to do - communication board, music lesson folders, file folders to laminate, and sessions to design. I have to get ready for an internship audition for tomorrow. I need to load up the car with all of my stuff. I'm excited to get back.

Can't wait!!

2011-06-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

Insights into Me

I feel that I am pretty self-actualized. I know my strengths, my weaknesses, and my areas of focus. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot do everything, and that is fine (most of the time).

I still have my moments of insecurities, my "I should" moments, and my times when I feel inadequate as a therapist. I think these moments help me to strengthen my skills and attitudes about being a therapist. I have a chance to reflect on myself and my skills as a therapist - I try to take advantage of these moments.

Here are my strengths:

Genuine interest in music as a therapeutic medium for persons with developmental issues and psychiatric concerns
Constant questions about music as a therapeutic medium
Enjoys music
Enjoys people
Creativity
Flexibility
Goal-oriented

Here are some of my weaknesses:

Perfectionist
Tries to take over the world
Wants more opportunities to help others
Time management
Procrastination

There are many, many more.
I guess the most important aspect of being a therapist is that you recognize and then address your strengths and weaknesses. Many therapists appear to believe that this can only be done in a therapeutic session. I think that the requirement of seeking outside supervision is not necessary for those who are able to provide some of the benefits of supervision in other ways. I have my friends, my family, and my co-workers who assist me in finding my way through the complex situations of being a therapist.

2011-06-03T15:06:00.001-05:00

Mandala

Lately, I have been attempting to increase my supervisory techniques to help me with intern supervision. One of the things that I have attempted are mandala, much-hyped by several of the more vocal internship directors who prescribe to a more psycho-dynamic form of therapy than myself. I do not think that I am doing these as prescribed by those IDs, but I am enjoying the process and the learning experience.

I am currently completing eight-point mandala. I start with a small circle and then draw eight radiating lines from that circle. I think I really like the discipline of mandala the way that they were described to me.

My mom, my source of all things, is really into Zentangles. She starts with a square and then draws lines. She fills in the space with shapes, colors, and forms. I have not been able to be that free with my mandala yet. There is a form of mandala called Zendala, which combines both of the concepts. This is also too free-form for my comfort level at this time.

I wonder what one of those more psycho-dynamic therapists would think of my mandala. I like the symmetry and repetition of the patterns that I draw. I enjoy the discipline of starting with a central idea and then watching that idea grow and change as additional layers are put on. Here is one of my mandala. Thoughts about this?

Central idea, then things adding on in one layer at a time.

2011-06-01T07:18:00.000-05:00

Thinking about Stuff

Oh, dear. Here is a veritable word salad of thoughts, ideas, concepts, and random moments. My apologies to begin with...

I have been on my own on vacation for the past twelve days. I have spent lots of time in my home cleaning, sorting, and tossing things out. I have been overwhelmed at times, sad at times, frustrated at times, and downright bored at other times. This is what vacation is for - to refresh and be ready to get back to therapy.

I have six days left to continue to refresh and renew my therapeutic energy. I am sure that many therapists in the music therapy world would feel that I need supervision of a professional type, but I think that this time on my own is more effective for me than going into a counseling session. I have always been a introspective person. I feel that I can work through issues that affect my therapeutic relationships with the supports that I have available to me. My family, my friends, and my co-workers offer me opportunities to discuss therapy and other issues. I do not feel that mandating professional counseling in the guise of "supervision" is an appropriate requirement for music therapists. There are many other, VERY loud therapists out there who vehemently disagree with me.

My argument comes from a purely financial position. I cannot afford to be in supervision/counseling. I can't afford to buy meat next month if I want to drive to work daily. I am simply not able to go to an outside person. I probably never will be able to that.

I've been thinking about other things in the silence of my home.

More later...

2011-05-29T13:45:00.001-05:00

Cleaning Out

I am in the process of cleaning out my 41 years of accumulated crap. Now, I am not just a pack rat, I am almost to hoarder status. I can honestly say that I like my crap. I enjoy the prestige of having lots of things. The problem is that I have a finite amount of space available to store said things. There come times when something has to go. For my sake, I hope that I can be motivated enough to get rid of lots of things in the next 5 days.

Fortunately, I have a timeline. The church is having a rummage sale next weekend, so I have to get things sorted and out of the apartment by next Thursday. After that, stuff needs to be donated to one of the local thrift stores. I have eight more days to get things done.

In a stretch, I feel that my pack rat nature makes me a good therapist. Now, I know there are folks who would disagree, but my need to collect things extends to my need to collect ideas, theories, and techniques. My bag of tricks is like my apartment's current state...full to the brim. What I haven't figured out in my physical environment that I have figured out in my therapeutic environment is that there are times when you have to purge the old or take it out and update it a bit. I have done that as a therapist.

I remember the old days of believing everything that a professor told me without questioning. "If Dr. ** said it, then it MUST be law!" I have "grown up" enough in the profession of music therapy to know that professors do not have the only answers. I am actualized as a therapist and can sort through the information given to make appropriate decisions for me and for my practice as a clinician. I throw away the old ideas and make ways for the new ideas, or I revamp the old ideas into new ones.

Back to cleaning up the stuff that invades my physical life. The therapy idea is out and exposed, now on to the more practical aspects of life.

Happy cleaning!

2011-05-28T06:43:00.001-05:00

Thoughts and Musings...

After a two day forced hiatus from blogging (Thanks, blogger!), I have several thoughts about things. Forgive me as I indulge in some random thoughts and musings about music, therapy, and me. Probably mostly me. Sorry.

I have been on vacation for the past nine days. I have ten days to go. While I feel that vacations are essential for the health and well-being of every therapist, I find it difficult to be away from the music therapy world for long periods of time. I always make a list of things that I want to do, and I never get those things done. This vacation's goal is to steam clean the carpet in my bedroom. I am almost to the point of being able to move furniture to clean the first half. I had to do the great laundry mountain first.

A friend of my family died this week very unexpectedly. This has hit my father hard as this friend was one of his best friends. He was shocked and deeply grieving. He was not able to talk to me for long periods of time when he found out because he was upset. My father is not ashamed to cry - he cries whenever he is proud of his children, he cries when movies turn sad, and he cries when his friends die. I have been grieving this friend from 1500 miles away. Dad has worked through his initial shock and is able to talk about George now. I grieve for both George's family and for mine as we go through the grief process.

I am an introvert - a STRONG introvert. I need time away from people, but I also need to around people. I heard an interesting definition of introversion - an introvert enjoys being around people but refreshes his/her enthusiasm and energy away from big groups of people. I have had enough time on my own and now I need to be around people. I do not have to interact with those people, but I do need to be around people. So, I am heading to the big outlet mall to see a movie (I have a coupon ;-).

Silence is something else that I crave at times.

I do not think that I am alone in my craving for silence. Many of the music therapists that I know look for some silence in their days. I do not listen to music outside my therapy clinic. I am more likely to make music rather than to listen to the performances of others when I am outside my clinic. I listen to NPR talk radio on my commutes from home to work with the occasional foray into prepared playlists. I use the iso-principle every chance I can get - I change music to fit my mood, often going through an entire CD not finding what I want to find. I make Favorites CDs - for my own personal use - of music that intrigues me at the moment of creation. These CDs often gain the criticism of others who find the abrupt changes of music jarring. I will often change from Fanfare for the Common Man to U2 to The Shirelles to music from Star Wars. I choose the music because I like it. There is no rhyme or reason to my choices, except for the reason in my own head. I do not make my choices for the comfort of others, but for myself.

Therapy for the therapist. Time for a new Favorites CD.

2011-05-25T07:19:00.000-05:00

Tempo and the Music Therapist

I think that tempo is one of the most powerful therapeutic elements of music. I also think that it is one of the least emphasized in our music therapy training.

Dr. Michael Thaut, an eminent researcher on the effect of music on the central nervous system, emphasizes that motor functions occur within a temporal framework - coordinated in time. If you can find the client's initial tempo, you can change the speed of motor function through subtle changes in the tempo of the music presented.

I believe that the same function occurs in domains other than the motor domain. I believe that there is a cognitive processing entrainment node for each person. Now, I have NO proof of this. I do not have the ability to use sophisticated imaging machinery to see if electrical impulses change to accommodate the musical stimulus or to see if matching the music to the electrical impulses can increase cognitive function, but I feel that there is something to the idea.

There are times, when I am running music therapy sessions and experiences, that I can feel a change in how clients are attending to the stimulus I am presenting. Many times it is only one client who has the shift in response, but I occasionally hit a "golden tempo" for an entire group. When that happens, the music therapy experience becomes more meaningful for the clients. There are shifts in behavior that indicate a connection between the music and the client as well as increased connection with the therapist during those moments.

One of the most difficult aspects of tempo as an important therapeutic element of music is that many clients in one convenience group do not share similar tempo preferences. How can you coordinate a group of diverse tempi into one experience? I submit that you cannot provide all tempi for all clients simultaneously. The best you can hope for is to coordinate the tempo for clients with the greatest need at the moment.

2011-05-23T06:34:00.000-05:00

Reflections...

Thoughts about being a music therapist often intrude into my vacations. This is the situation right now. I am currently vacationing from my school job during summer break. The break lasts for two weeks, and I will be spending it in glorious solitude at my home. This time away from work and work issues will make me a better therapist when I return.

I enjoy some time away from being a therapist. There are times when being a therapist is difficult. I firmly believe that all therapists have to take some time out of therapeutic relationships to refresh and renew. I look forward to these times. I try not to think about work or work issues during my vacations, but thoughts of and about music therapy often intrude.

Today is my fourth day of vacation. I have fourteen days to go before I go back to work. I was ready to be on break and now I am ready to be away from work for a short time.

My plans are to clean, sort, and throw away. My house is a pit at this point. There are things everywhere that have piled up since my last vacation. I am going through things one box at a time, making decisions about what to keep. I have found many things that I have started to do but have not completed. This is a time to complete some of those things.

I often tell my interns that they have to remove the words, "need" and "should" from their vocabularies. I often have to do the same thing. Right now, I will practice what I preach about those particular words.

Right now I want to rephrase the things that I am thinking.

Statement #1:I need to clean, and I should be doing that right now rather than typing on this blog.
Rephrase #1: I will empty three boxes today and remove the trash from the house so it will never return.

I will use this break time to reflect on my professional life as well as my personal life.

I will have some fun.

I will keep moving towards my personal and professional goals.

There will probably be lots of time to blog over the next two weeks, so be prepared for lots of rambling discussions full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

Signing off -

me

2011-05-15T19:30:00.000-05:00

Narrow-minds and Ethics

So, I have got myself into some trouble with the music therapy listserve again. I seem to do that quite a bit when I open my big fat mouth. I hate when people with opposing OPINIONS start to argue with each other. There is never a winner, especially when the opinions are contentious to begin with.

The music therapy listserve has been abuzz with comments about a book featuring a music therapist as the protagonist. The book also concerns a lesbian relationship, something that was not highlighted before the book was published. One MT asked for some opinions about the book, and another MT stated that she felt that marriage should be between one man and one woman, not a lesbian couple. This opened up the floodgates for calls to remand this MT under the code of ethics. She was told to seek supervision to assist her in removing her bias towards people who were in homosexual relationships.

I decided that some of these conversations were appropriate, but I started to get incensed when people started making ethical judgments about the behavior of the MT who stated an opinion different from their own. I happen not to care about the definition of marriage, feeling that all people should have equal rights regardless of any form of differences. I just find it unethical for some people to state that this person was unethical in not accepting the values, attitudes, and opinions of others as different from her own when they are guilty of the same behavior. She should not be censored for stating an opinion when they are not being censored for stating their opinions. The conversation strayed from the original intent of the post into a series of arguments about who was right - the GLBT community or the conservative Christian community.

I posted a comment that was intended to ask everyone to first maintain some professionalism when responding to comments, and to respect the opinions of others as opinions. This led to some pretty heated exchanges with a "music psychotherapist" who appears to think that I have been accusing her of unethical behavior (which, I kinda have since she called the other person unethical for expressing an opinion that has the potential to hurt others - personally, I think that some of her opinions have the same potential). I took the conversation off-list due to the initial personal nature of her response to me - she used my name in the email. She keeps reiterating that she will stand up for the GLBT community when no one else will. This was not my point with my comment - I don't care who anyone sleeps with - IT IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS - but she will not let it go.

I have decided to be the bigger person and leave the conversation. She will not concede that I have a point. I have conceded to her points many times. She apparently just wants to attack, and I am a convenient target. More power to her.

I will just add her name to the list of people that I do not value as colleagues and move on.

My question is, "why do we even have to go through this pointless exercise?" In my OPINION, two factions as divisive as these will NEVER accede that the other has a point. Why continue to try to persuade each other to the opposing point of view. Each is firmly rooted and will not budge. So agree to disagree and GET OVER IT!

There - that's my rant on my own private space. If you don't like it, tough! This is my opinion and that's all you need to know.

2011-05-07T12:11:00.000-05:00

Life speeds by...

It is May.

This is one of my busiest months as a school music therapist. The talent show is next Friday, graduation is six days later, and summer school plans have to be made before school is finished for summer break. All of this in addition to the normal pattern of music therapy sessions and work responsibilities. I am slowly losing my mind since there are also papers to write, treatment plans to coordinate, visual aids to laminate, AMTA work to be done, and many other things to do. In addition, I have been sick for the past three months and am finally starting to feel better, but am still requiring LOTS of sleep.

I got so caught up in the flood of things that have piled up that I forgot to pay my rent this month. So, here it is on the 6th, and I have just now paid my rent. This is an unusual situation for me - just the rent portion of this particular rant, not the lots of things part.

In moments like this, I have to simplify my life.

In the next days, I will be writing down all of the things that I need to do. (I really like lists.) Then, I will assign a priority number to each item. This task helps me to carve out time for each and every thing that needs to be done. When I have finished an item on my list, I get to cross it off!

This may sound simple, but it is one of my coping strategies.

Once the list is made, I can plot my timeline for the next two weeks. I identify when each task will be addressed.

Some things are easy to prioritize. My paper will be finished by tomorrow evening. Other things are less easy. The AMTA work will be done when I can fit it in. Graduation song rehearsal is happening on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the next two weeks. The plans for summer school have to be finished by next Tuesday. The formats for sessions for summer school do not have to be addressed until after school is on summer break. Visual aids can always wait until other things have been completed. With the list, I can do anything!

The one thing lacking in this blog diatribe is the musical aspect.

I have to find ways to put music into my life other than what I do for my clients. At times like these when I feel overwhelmed, my personal musical processes are often shoved to the side. So, on my list, I will place times for either making or listening to music as part of my self-care plan.

Off to plan the next 14 days. Wish me luck!

2011-05-01T06:04:00.001-05:00

Bickering with the Rest of the Music Therapy World

Well, the music therapy world is rocking with a discussion about listserve etiquette this weekend! It amazes me who chimes in on certain topics. At issue this time is long messages clogging up the mailboxes of certain therapists. There was an initial request for folks to delete the earlier emails when responding. This led to a series of requests from others to:

keep little comments from the entire list
stop using the list to elicit activity ideas (proffered by one of the "holier-than-thou")
use the blog
and to just delete things

I started to laugh.

There is something funny about how we can take these comments from one another so very seriously. In addition, it just reinforces the current attitude of my generation which consists of "it's all about me." Damn the consequences for someone else - I want things my way or no way!! What is going on in the world these days??

I just laugh at the absurdity of us all as I delete the messages.

I have made some proactive decisions surrounding the listserve for my own sanity. They are as follows:

There are some people that I only read if I want to engage in a fight;
There are some people that I think are idiots, and I delete them immediately;
There are some people that I respect so I look to see what they write;
and I rarely respond to conversations unless I feel passionate about a topic.

I do not feel it necessary to publish these thoughts and decisions to the world on the listserve. The discussion has gone on far too long, so I will publish this on this obscure little blog and move on.

I wonder if anyone else finds this as absurd?

2011-04-27T18:26:00.001-05:00

The SEMTAP and me...

I completed my first SEMTAP observation today. What a mess I am in the middle of at this point right now.

The parents want the student to get music therapy services because they want her to be able to perform.

The student refuses to perform.

The student has exactly two (2) IEP goals, neither of which are appropriate for music therapy services.

The SEMTAP is basically writing itself now. I am not able to justify music therapy services to support the goals and objectives on the IEP. We will probably head into mediation because of all of this. Did I mention that this is part of my current job, and I have had to cancel the music therapy sessions for the 83 students that I am paid to work with during the school day??

Tomorrow I go back to complete the protocol. What a weird way to spend a day.

2011-04-15T05:29:00.001-05:00

Disappointment

I had a job interview a week ago. It looked like a promising "step-up" for me - a director of music therapy for an influential music academy in a large metropolitan area. The interview went well, and I had an invitation to attend the second round in a week. They wanted someone really fast (within 2.5 weeks) which sent up a red flag, but it seemed to be a place where I could be challenged with new things in my therapy life.

I started to calculate how much I would need to attend the second interview.

One of the things never mentioned was the salary being offered. They were requesting persons with Master's degrees as well as 3 years of practice, so I thought, it being in a large metro area and all, that there would be some good money involved.

There wasn't.

The salary was 40-45K per year. The benefits were decent, but nothing spectacular. I wonder why we are unwilling to demand salaries appropriate to our education and experience? Many of the jobs out there now require higher education, yet they pay nothing! It is a crock and a shame.

I had fun interviewing, and will continue to challenge myself to explore the job market. I need to earn more than I am making now in order to move, however. That may be a challenge.

2011-04-07T07:25:00.001-05:00

Leaping OUT of the Comfort Zone into the FRAY

Here I am, again, after almost 15 years of settled routine, jumping into the job market. This has been precipitated by a significant change in how I feel my services are perceived by the administrators at my current facility. I am always heaped with compliments by folks who have never observed a session. They appear to get all of their information about my effectiveness from whether students smile when leaving the session - not very good quality control here. I have always told myself that I would pursue any and all opportunities that came my way...

I have applied for a position as a Director of Music Therapy at a facility that I would never have considered two years ago. It is in a large metropolitan area and appears to be very well established in that area as a creative arts therapy program. I have my first interview tomorrow afternoon, and I am nervous.

It is interesting how we can become comfortable in our routines and situations. I love my perfect job - most of the time. The therapy work is invigorating, the clients are delightful, but the politics bring me down every time. I do not like having to make therapeutic decisions based on what teachers will feel rather than on how clients will benefit from the services provided. This has led to an increase in looking at posted jobs for music therapy.

This job came through a music therapy listserve three different times. I looked at it first and discarded due to the location. The second time, I thought, "Maybe I should investigate more." The third time appeared to be a sign that I really should look at the position more carefully. I thought about it, prayed about it, and then took a deep breath before plunging into the fray. I updated my resume (untouched since 2003) and sent it in. I received an email inviting me for a phone interview. I am officially looking for a new job.

Here I go...

2011-03-12T13:07:00.003-06:00

Musings about this blog...

Are you there?

I have a suspicion that this is a place that I ramble on and on all to myself. That is fine since I treat this site as a place to think about music therapy, not for public consumption, but as a personal place to vent or process information.

Then, I attended the inaugural Online Conference for Music Therapy last weekend.

I was amazed to see and hear from music therapists who have used their online presences to build their businesses. They all have blogs, websites, accounts on Facebook, Linked In, and Twitter (same as me), but they have also made their online presences something to be viewed with awe.

I am learning. I am trying to launch a business online. This business is targeted towards music therapists and music therapy students, offering tools and materials. I have owned the domain name for 15 years, but have never been able to officially launch the site as a business. This is the year!

2011 is the year that my business starts.

2011-03-06T06:59:00.003-06:00

THE ONLINE CONFERENCE FOR MUSIC THERAPY

Forgive the capital letters, but this has been an exciting couple of days.

Way back many, many months ago, I answered a request for organizers for an online conference for music therapy. I thought, "Sure, I could help out with something like that. I would like to be on a committee to review presentations." Next thing I knew, I was the treasurer/financial contact on the ORGANIZING committee!

This was a bit of a shock.

I went from being a peripheral part of a conference (which I could see fitting in nicely with my available time and schedule) to being a part of all aspects of the conference, from beginning to end. Now, I did only as much as I could, often leaving decisions to the others, including the person who started the whole thing, John Lawrence.

We are now halfway through the conference.

We have had technical difficulties, multimedia presentations did not stream the way they needed to, people dropped in and out, we could only stream 6 webcams at any time, and the chat window was often moving too fast to read. Even with all of those incidents, I think the 40+ registrants have enjoyed the experience. The comments have been fun, we have learned some new things, and we have been swamped with encouragement throughout this conference.

Things I have learned...

Redundancy is necessary. Redundancy is necessary. It is better to have too many copies of things than only one. When a person drops off the situation, there may need to be someone who can cover...
We will need to cover the chat windows more carefully - there are lots of things that we like to say to each other. Chat has turned into note passing for the audience rather than questions and comments about the presentation - maybe a breakout chat room for note passing would work...hmmm.
An online conference is definitely a feasible situation - as evidenced by the success of yesterday. It is less difficult to run (I think) than an on-site conference, but there are additional challenges.
Learning styles and personalities make for challenges in communication.

Overall, I enjoyed this entire process with the occasional tantrums about various and sundry things. I will volunteer to do this again.