Thoughtful Thursday: Context, Sub-Context, and Sub-sub-context...

Several people have noted on posts lately that their well-intentioned comments have been taken to an entirely different level by people who are reading things from their own perspective and are commenting from that perspective rather than from the perspective of the original poster. Boy, do I understand the frustrations of someone taking your post and making it into something other.

I don't do much posting on social media sites about my thoughts or products because of a situation which happened many years ago. I posted some thoughts that I shared on this blog, and I got yelled at by someone who (I think) didn't read the piece that I wrote. This person took offense that I would write about internships and interns and started to accuse me of acting illegally because internships in music therapy are (mostly) unpaid. I engaged with this person for about 10 exchanges and then I disconnected from the conversation. The person involved was not interested in what I had to say and just wanted to push a particular agenda. My friends then stepped in. The tirade continued for something like 600 comments until the person stated that the major problem that this person had was that I had engaged in self-promotion by posting my own writing to the site. After that, the conversation was finished - no one would engage after that. 

I took that to heart and haven't engaged in much self-promotion since.

It's funny, because other people promote their events and products and thoughts all the time on these social media sites, but I still get queasy when I think about including a link to things I already have designed and offer. Once burned, twice shy, I guess.

All because of one person who decided to vent about what was perceived as an illegal educational practice and took it out on me.

One of the problems with interacting with others in this day and age is that the written word has many types of interpretations. I can write a perfectly honest statement, and someone can read those words and put them into their own filters and come up with a completely different idea of what I said. There is no way to indicate tone or inflection or attitude when you are typing. I've also found that people do not often read the entire post or try to ask clarifying questions before responding.

So, I don't do much promotion away from my own pages.

Recently, a person posted an article about a product that this particular person is involved in creating, promoting, and using in music therapy. The professional advocacy committee decided that the article needed to be referred to the committee - the article itself talks about music therapy as a profession and also promotes the use of this particular product as a way for people to make music - NOT do home-based music therapy. I thought the article was pretty well written, but I also know that the person who posted it works for the company involved, so I was able to see that person's advocacy and expectation for the accurate depiction of music therapy in the article. My goggles were focused in a way that was different from most of the folks. 

Another friend posted a question, posed from the perspective of a client and about leaving positions so frequently, and people took it in directions that were related to the original topic, but were diverging from the original intent of the author. It is interesting to watch who says what, what information comes out about specific folks, and the patterns that people get into. I can tell who will be positive and take the time to read something through and who will just pop off a comment off the cuff.

I think that this age of commenting on everything and information being only a finger tip away is weakening our discussions and our professional relationships. Rather than asking questions and getting to know perspectives, we are throwing out ideas and comments and agendas because we can. I don't like it, so I am very picky about how I comment and what I say. Most of my posts go through several drafts - especially the ones where I'm promoting something that I have for sale for others...

I am thinking about my responses to the posts I referred to above - I will think about what I want to say and about the original posters as I formulate my thoughts. I know that I'll say things that do not reflect what others are presenting, and I know that I'll misinterpret what others intend, but that is part of the way we do things now...unfortunately. I will apologize and attempt clarification, but I do know this - I am only responsible for 50% of every interaction that I have in my life - I can only offer so much and the rest of the interaction has to be on the other person. I cannot control how someone reads what I write...or sing...or try to do.

That's that!

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