Thoughtful Thursday: More and More and More

It is 5:07am, and I already feel like I am behind schedule. (I'm really not, but these feelings happen on a regular basis to me - it probably has a bit to do with my perfectionism and my discussion about impostor syndrome yesterday - you know, feeling like I don't really know what I'm doing and being scared that someone will discover this fact.) I have spent some time catching up with the weather, with friends and family members, and I have done part of my morning routine. I am working on the next part of my routine right now - writing my blog. I have some time for crafting on my routine, and breakfast is on the agenda. That's all that is left, but I still feel behind.

Even though I am doing my routine and getting things done, my "want to-do" list is growing...and growing...and growing.

I feel behind, but I want to be doing so much more. I find myself feeding my coulda/woulda/shoulda goblins more often these days, even though I know that feeding those goblins with thoughts like "I should be reading more" or "I would be so much happier if I would just straighten this situation out" makes them so much more important than they really are. It is time to acknowledge that I can only do so much and then release the need for more.

Am I alone in this particular mind frame these days? I don't think so.

There are messages being thrown at us all the time about how we need "more." We need more fun, more things, more quality time with loved ones. We need to do various things so that we can have this "more." In all of this hype, I often lose track of the fact that even if I am doing all the things to get "more," there are still only 24 hours (and nanoseconds) of every day. No matter how many things I get or services I utilize, I still have the same number of hours in the day as I did before all these things happened.

 Since I can't increase the number of hours in the day, I think I will try to decrease the expectations that I have for myself. I am going to use my already established routines to defeat those goblins and remember that what I do is just that - what I choose to do. The "shoulds" of life happen, but they do not have to take over.

 I am going to choose to do a little bit more, but not everything that I feel I should be doing. It will be a choice, and something that I can accomplish. 

 It is now 5:35 am, and it is time to get some breakfast. I will work on a small project after breakfast, and then I will head out into the cold (but not icy) climate to go to work. The day will what the day will be, and I will do what I can do.

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