I'm Just Not Interested Today...

It's day 3 of my new school year, and I am not interested in going to work today.

Now, don't get me wrong - this has absolutely NOTHING to do with my clients, my intern, or my co-workers today. This has absolutely EVERYTHING to do with me! I just don't want to have to get up and get going. Now, in the interest of full authenticity and disclosure, I am dressed in my uniform, I will leave my house when I need to leave, and I will be going to work where I will have a good day, but at the moment, I just don't want to HAVE to work.

Does that make sense?

This happens to me every summer. I'd like to have the option of taking time off during summer school because I don't want to have to work, but I still want to be able to work if I get too bored with being at home. I think I would go stir crazy if I had to stay at my home during the entire summer - I would probably go home to California to keep myself entertained - but I would really like to have the option to find out. I don't have that option - rewriting my contract would mean giving up summer school pay (which is REALLY good for my financial outlook), and it would never really be able to revert back. I wish there was a way to have the option of taking every other summer off, but that doesn't really work the way our contracts are written. It would be every summer off or none. Right now, it's none.

This feeling will pass - it always does.

So, what do I do when I feel this way? I buy breakfast on my way out of town. I'll listen to my favorite podcast as I go on my commute. I will check my bank balance to see how much money I have in my account on this day before the day before payday. (I ended the contract year with some sick time in the bank, by the way!) I will snuggle with my kitty until she gets annoyed that I'm breathing on her and stalks away to the bedroom. I will read a book. I will drink a Sprite at some point today. I will go to my job, do my music therapy work, and find my reason for getting going during those music therapy sessions.

It's all about being human, and it's also about being realistic. There are days when every person doesn't want to do the things that they have dedicated lots of time, effort, and money in learning. That's fine. I'm there now. It works out better for me if I acknowledge these feelings, work on why I am feeling this way, and then work on those situations to fix the problem. Check the account, make a plan, get up, baby step to the front door, baby step through the humidity, Sprite, breakfast, podcast, baby step to my office, baby step through my documentation responsibilities, baby step through my music therapy sessions, and baby step until the end of the day.

It will be done, but I'm really not interested today.


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