My Conference Time is Over!

Well, it's been fun, but it's almost time to head out and get back home.

I gave two presentations yesterday, and the feedback was tremendous. I spoke about how I strive to become a more research-informed clinician to a group of about 46 folks. I admitted that my journal shelf is pretty but underutilized. I showed them one of my journals - from 3 years ago - still in the plastic covering. Did you know that the plastic covering on our journals starts to actively degrade after 3 years? I left a trail of fragile plastic bits in my wake! Several people thanked me for admitting that I struggle with the integration of research into my clinical practice. I even found out about PICO stuff in the nursing literature (I haven't started to explore that yet, but I hear that it's a way to help you parse through research to find information).

My second presentation yesterday was about navigating slumps. We talked about such uplifting topics as burnout, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue. We created some representational art and then destroyed it to create something positive. We dreamed about our own futures - both the practical and the fanciful - and then we started to think about what we could do to move towards a practical dream future. We talked about the need for more conversation about these feelings. I think there were about 35 people who were there.

This presentation was the one that seemed the most emotional for folks. It's amazing how very hard we can be on ourselves when it comes to what I call the "woulda/coulda/shoulda" goblins. I've spoken about these goblins before on this blog, and I'll continue to talk about them until they bother me no more.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

The "woulda/coulda/shoulda" goblins are the voices in my head that pop up every so often that tell me things that are not really true. They are the thoughts that interrupt my esteem and affect how I approach this thing called humanity. Here are some of the thoughts that tend to surface for me. See if these sound familiar to you.

"If you were a better therapist, you would be able to serve every single client that comes in front of you in a way that makes music the most important modality in their lives!"

"If you only gave up reading trashy novels, you could dedicate that time to reading research and assimilating it into your practice."

"You should be doing more for (fill-in-the-blank here - for the association, for your clients, for the other people in your life)."

These thoughts intrude and interrupt my life in ways that are distracting as well as destructive. I've found that acknowledging those thoughts helps me to navigate the factors that are spurring those voices. Yesterday, I heard from others that I am not alone in these types of experiences.

Why don't we talk more about this with each other?

We need to. We need to make sure that new therapists know that it's normal to wake up every so often and not want to go to work. We need to share that there are crappy jobs out there that can make us miserable - and that it's important to leave those crappy jobs. We need to share our own experiences of frustration, of navigation, and of finding our bliss whether it be as a part of this profession or not.

For me, yesterday was affirming. I heard from attendees that what I had to talk about was important to them and provided them with validation as well as ways to navigate through specific situations. Several people stopped me outside of my presentations to speak to me as well. I'm not alone in what life hands me. There are others out there who struggle with being a helper and burnout. There are others who view the journal shelf with ambivalence. We all have our loves and hazards when it comes to our life journey in this profession.

If you are interested in what we talked about yesterday, please know that I am hoping to become a CBMT pre-approved provider soon, and these presentations are on the list of offerings to be launched in the near future (next three months).

Last things - if you are struggling with anything like what I described, please seek assistance from someone who can help you process what is happening. If nothing else, please know that you are not alone. There are others who feel the way you do, and we need to talk about it with each other.

Music therapist friends, reach out. 

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