Anxiety is Mounting

I have been asked if I want to start up an internship program again. I stopped because I didn't have enough space for an intern in my dinky little room, but that excuse is completely gone now. Now I'm trying to get over a bit of anxiety associated with this decision.

I enjoy training music therapy interns. I really do, but I'm not sure if an internship will work in my facility the way things are right now. I have to spend some time figuring out if things will work the way I want them to work or if things are going to be more difficult than it is worth to run an internship program. Rules for volunteers have changed at my facility. The work schedule may be dramatically changing in the next year - I don't know, but that has significant implications for running an internship especially with the new volunteer rules. All of this is starting to cause me to have levels of anxiety that I really don't like all that much.

So, what am I doing about it?

I am going into planning mode. I will spend my afternoon planning time going over what I have ready for interns, finding out information that I need to know about intern volunteers, and setting up information about what I want interns to do while at my facility.

By looking over all the facts, I can quell some of the anxious thoughts, but the emotionally anxious thoughts will continue. I have some emotional baggage about being an internship director with AMTA that I am not over yet, but I don't want that to interfere with something I love to do - supervising interns.

I am going to spend some time thinking deeply about what is possible these days. I am going to feel the anxiety, acknowledge the emotions associated with what is going on, and then move forward.

Deep breaths now.

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