Impulsiveness

In my professional life, I work with many clients who have difficulty with impulsiveness. Some flit from place to place, topic to topic, activity to activity in mere seconds. Some move from positive interactions with others to negative interactions with others in the blink of an eye. My clients often don't have much awareness of the consequences of their behaviors until they have gone through the behaviors. After the fact, they can process through the ramifications of their actions, but they have no future thought when it comes to decisions that they face.

I was impulsive yesterday.

I was driving home after an okay Wednesday (hooray!!), and I became very homesick. I haven't been home in 18 months which is an extremely long time for me. I didn't have a choice about traveling because I had to go to surgery, recover, and find some financial footing after dealing with Worker's Compensation and salary implications. ANYWAY...

The wave of homesickness just plain old took over. So, I started making plans. If I started driving on the last day of the next summer session, I could be home in 29 hours. I was very pleased to make my plan for streaking across the country in my little car. I got home and looked on the website for a flight. I found one - for less that it would cost me to drive! I booked it without telling the folks at home that I was going to do it. That is a level of impulsiveness that I rarely show.

Now, I know, I could have been so much more impulsive, but this was very spontaneous for me. I decided I was going, I wasn't going to worry about the cost, and I was just plain old taking the time to take care of me. The fact that I found a plane ticket for - get this - $211.20(!!!!) made the trip a fact rather than an impulse! That makes me happy.

The plane ticket has been purchased. I have the receipt in my email inbox. Now I get to do the things I like best. I get to prepare. I like planning and now I have a direction for the short break that I have starting tomorrow. I am going to clean the house so the pet sitter can find the cat when she comes over to cuddle. A goal! Hooray!! A trip! Hooray!! Cheap ticket! Hooray!!

There are times when impulsiveness leads you to bigger and better things. Does this mean I am ready to leave life and my doctor and stuff and move right now? Nope, but I am reminded that being spontaneous can bring about care for self in a way that planned self-care cannot.

Over the 18 months, I've had to plan everything. I've had to be very careful about how I spent money because I was hurt. I've had to stay at home because I was unable to bend my knee enough to get anywhere. I had a physical therapy schedule that precluded any type of trip. I've had to stop doing things that I love because I wasn't physically able to do those things. All of that has stopped so I can take some risks and be a bit more spontaneous now...but I am out of practice.

I took a big step yesterday, booking that trip without having all the ducks in a row.

Onward - here's to being a bit impulsive!