I Need Some Music

This has been a strange week in many ways. It's been a week of emotional responses, political rhetoric, high temperatures, more political rhetoric, and therapy. I am thankful that my work week is over right now so I can just take some time and sit back and ponder what's been going on.

So, I am here, sitting and thinking about things. One of the things that I've felt compelled to do is to avoid all news outlets. Each time I turned on my favorite radio news station, I was bombarded with repetitive information and LOTS of misinformation. I had to turn it off. I simply cannot go through tragic situations as many times as the media seems to want me to. I can't go through the same situation over and over again. I don't.

Instead of listening to the radio, I've been listening to sitcoms on my iPod or listening to my favorite songs playlist (12 hours of music and more to come). This has been good for me because I have been able to use my favorite music to help me feel and regulate emotions. I've done the "switch the song until the music just feels right" thing as I've been driving around the state of Kansas. I've spent time making my own music in response to what's happening around the world. Nothing spectacular has come out of all of this - I've written no major concerti or anything, but I've found solace in creating and engaging in music.

We also drummed this week. It's amazing how much emotion you can channel when you are hitting the heck out of something. Feeling frustrated by the government of your state? Imagine faces on your drum heads and express that frustration through hitting the drum repeatedly. Wild drumming with a bunch of kids can often lead to primal vocalizations along with the drumming. (We did some screaming, much to the dismay of the paraeducators in my groups. They just don't understand that you sometimes HAVE to be loud, even when you are inside.) 

The frantic need that I felt to make and immerse myself in music this past week has subsided a bit. I am starting to feel that I am ready to move back into the world of news, but I will enter that world with caution.

I work with lots of clients who have the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I understand the idea of secondary trauma. I have a touch of PTSD response and reaction to specific situations myself and have learned to avoid trigger events or incidents. Sometimes though, it is difficult to avoid triggers, especially when those triggering events are repeated over and over again everywhere you go. So, I turn to music to help me deal with the emotions and the information overload.

I am glad that there is music in this world. I am glad that there are music therapists in this world. I am glad that music can fill the spaces left behind when things happen to each of us.

I need some music, and I will find it.