The Aftermath of Accidents
I was injured by a client 10 days ago. I am currently steeped in the process of getting diagnoses and treatment through Worker's Compensation (an interesting thing here in the States that means that the insurance of employers pay for injuries to employees that happen on the job). I've been seen by two doctor-types and have had an MRI of my knee. I've been told that my ACL is completely ripped, so Arnold the Immobilizer and I are going to continue to be in a relationship for quite some time.
My father is angry. He is angry with the client who caused me to be hurt. He is angry with my supervisor. He is angry with the Worker's Compensation people in general, even though they haven't done anything to me yet. I suspect that some of his anger is directed towards me and my situation, but he would never actually confront me about his anger. There is a bit of helplessness in there as well - he can't fix this for me. I will always be his little girl, you know.
Me? I have my moments of anger about this, but most of the time, I am resigned. There is no use in thinking about the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" situations and the goblins they bring up. I have my moments of depression as I contemplate what is ahead of me, but I also know that this type of injury is not uncommon, so it should be able to be fixed - That's a good thing in all of this.
Another good thing about this is that my profession, music therapy, is not dependent upon working knees. I can still run webinars, sessions, training, and can still write TMEs even with a bum knee. I can still sing and play the guitar with my clients. I can't dance with them, but I can be part of the session and encourage them to engage. If I can drive (which I can, albeit with pain, but I can do it), I can get to work, and I can do what I love to do!
So, in this aftermath, I resolve to do what I have to do to get my knee back to full function. I resolve to help my father process this event and to help him see that it is not life-ending, just life-altering. I resolve not to let the depressive moments take over. This was an accident on my part. It hurt. It continues to change my life, but change is not bad. It is a reality. It is my reality, so onward!
My father is angry. He is angry with the client who caused me to be hurt. He is angry with my supervisor. He is angry with the Worker's Compensation people in general, even though they haven't done anything to me yet. I suspect that some of his anger is directed towards me and my situation, but he would never actually confront me about his anger. There is a bit of helplessness in there as well - he can't fix this for me. I will always be his little girl, you know.
Me? I have my moments of anger about this, but most of the time, I am resigned. There is no use in thinking about the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" situations and the goblins they bring up. I have my moments of depression as I contemplate what is ahead of me, but I also know that this type of injury is not uncommon, so it should be able to be fixed - That's a good thing in all of this.
Another good thing about this is that my profession, music therapy, is not dependent upon working knees. I can still run webinars, sessions, training, and can still write TMEs even with a bum knee. I can still sing and play the guitar with my clients. I can't dance with them, but I can be part of the session and encourage them to engage. If I can drive (which I can, albeit with pain, but I can do it), I can get to work, and I can do what I love to do!
So, in this aftermath, I resolve to do what I have to do to get my knee back to full function. I resolve to help my father process this event and to help him see that it is not life-ending, just life-altering. I resolve not to let the depressive moments take over. This was an accident on my part. It hurt. It continues to change my life, but change is not bad. It is a reality. It is my reality, so onward!
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